


Resist the Urge to Run

by Rearviewdreamer



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Date, I still hate tagging, I'll add more tags as i go, Kid Fic, Louis fixes everything!, M/M, Niall is a chef of course, Self-Worth Issues, harry is a dad, larry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-03-23 11:14:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 76,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3766072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rearviewdreamer/pseuds/Rearviewdreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is just trying to figure it all out and Louis is just the person to help him do that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Harry

He didn’t used to be this lonely on his ride to work every night. Sure it’s just as dark and quiet as it has always been before, but now looking through the window of the bus makes him feel almost sad.

At least a few months ago he had some company there to distract him from how black the city seems this late at night. At least his mate Zayn had been interesting and funny when he mocked their driver and asked Harry what type of music he enjoyed as if he actually cared. It had been a lot less lonely then, but that was before Zayn decided to quit the restaurant and move away like so many others have before him. Now he’s on his own again back to counting the number of times the woman sitting in the back coughs as if she’s hacking up her lungs…six so far.

A short nod is all the goodbye he ever gets from the driver when they arrive at his stop. His hands get automatically shoved into the pockets of his jacket as he starts his two block journey.

No one greets him when he walks into Toscana except the dirt tracked floor of the dining area. There isn’t even anyone standing at the front since most of the employees have already headed home so he drops his jacket on the closest table and heads on back to get started.

His familiar footsteps cause Erin’s head to whip in his direction when he enters the kitchen, her smile the only greeting he ever receives when he arrives. He happily returns it and walks straight to where his gloves and supplies are kept as she starts up her usual chat, her hands already waving in the air as she talks.

“I have yet to get the full story, but something exploded and then got absolutely _roasted_ in the second oven. It looked so bad we didn’t want to touch it until you got here. Uh…Charlie spilled milk and alfredo  all over the freezer room and she tried to get it all but I’m sure she missed a lot of it because the floor is all sticky, so you know, if you don’t mind?” She grimaces over at the door to the freezer like she just knows it’s a big frozen mess inside. “Sorry.” She offers.

Harry nods, already trying to figure out the best method for removing frozen milk from a cold floor without the skin from his fingers getting left behind on the tile.

“Okay. Any other special things?”  He looks from the oven to the freezer and starts filling a bucket. Warm water will help loosen the mess on the floor before he has to mop it all up. He’d much rather start there than hunched over inside an oven as he scrapes burned lasagna from it.

Erin pauses like she’s going back through the day’s catastrophes in her mind that may need Harry’s attention. “Oh! One of the girls said there’s water coming from somewhere near the sink. I don’t know how much you know about plumbing, but-”

“I can take a look. It can’t hurt.” He shrugs. Harry knows absolutely nothing about plumbing, but he’ll check it out for her anyway. It’s the least he can do since she’s been running this restaurant by herself for nearly two years. He still doesn’t know how the hell she does it all.

They’re silent while Erin does one last inventory of things Harry needs to do, running through all the usual cleaning tasks he performs each night. “Niall says he accidentally made too many cannoli’s so there’s a whole platter full in the fridge for you.” She fondly rolls her eyes at the mention of his name and Harry does the same. They both know Niall never accidentally makes too much of anything. He’s a chef that enjoys food so much that he purposely prepares too much so that everyone has something to take home with them in case they need it including Harry who isn’t on wait staff. “Don’t eat them all tonight. You’ll probably die if you do.” She grins.

Harry reassures her that he won’t, while kindly ushering her out the door so he can get started. “Have a good night, Erin.”

She tries to turn back into the kitchen. “Wait, make sure you-”

“I will.” Harry says so fast that she can’t even finish what she was going to say.

“And if you run out of the polish for the-”

“Erin.” Harry grins. “I know.” She sighs and grabs her jacket and bag from the hanger at the door, finally looking resolved to leave. “Go home and get some sleep. It’s late. I’ve got everything under control.” He promises her.

It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy Erin hanging around, but he really would like to get the show on the road and he can’t do that while she’s there talking his ear off about her list of never ending things that need to be done.

He heads back to the large freezer door and resumes his task of steaming frozen milk from the floor. He sighs grabbing up his bucket as he heads into the cold.

It’s after midnight when he’s finally taken care of the garbage, polished the appliances, scrubbed the oven, cleaned the freezer, as well as sweeping, mopping, and waxing the floors in the dining area. The cleaning process used to be a lot shorter when Zayn was around to help. Erin offered to find another person to share the workload, but sharing the workload means sharing the money, and money happens to be something Harry _really,_ really needs these days.

He’s just grabbing his coat to go wait for the bus when his phone vibrates in his hand.

Michael: ‘ _Hi!_ _Still working?’_

He types out a reply after he locks up the building. ‘ _Just leaving. Heading to the bus stop_.’ He takes about ten steps when Michael responds.

Michael: ‘ _Feel like hanging out? I could come pick you up :)’_

The bus stop is only about a block and a half away. It’s not like he _needs_ Michael to come get him. But then again, the next late bus won’t be there for another half an hour, and really, he hasn’t seen Michael in a few days. That could be…nice.

He thanks Michael for a third time as they climb the steps of his flat together with Michael brushing it off again saying it’s nothing. That’s why Harry likes him, he’s laid back and just generally content at all times. Harry still wants to pay him back though because Michael could have left him there on the street to wait. He’ll make sure to do something nice for him later.

Michael spots one of Harry’s new record sleeves on the floor next to his player when he walks in. His jacket gets quickly removed in his excitement as he sits down to play it. “This sleeve is so cool,” Michael tells him as he places the needle down over the vinyl. “I’ve never seen one like this. Where’d you find it?” he asks running his fingers over the raised picture on the front.

Harry stands near him as he toes off his shoes and removes his own jacket. He could sit down next to Michael and tell him all about his search through the city to find a raised Rolling Stones _Grrr_ album sleeve and how it took him over a week to track it down, but something keeps him rooted where he is. Something reminds him that they don’t do things like discuss bands and favorite record shops, so instead of actually sharing something interesting about himself and some of the things that he likes, Harry chooses to give him the quick version.

“Just some shop a few blocks from here.”

Michael still smiles up at him regardless of his short response. Harry lets him listen to the song playing for a few minutes more before he’s pulling Michael to stand with him. He’s shorter than Harry, so he has to lean down to bring their lips together the way he wants, but he doesn’t mind, not when Michael immediately latches onto him like he’s been starved.

It’s flattering to know that Michael craves Harry’s touch whenever they’re together, but Harry knows better than to think this is more than it actually is. He knows Michael’s fondness for him is only present at all due to his innocence. After all, Harry was once twenty-two years old too. He knows all too well that naive hearts fall fast.

Michael removes both of their shirts and resumes his way down Harry’s neck in a trail that makes all the tension from the last few hours dissolve into nothing. He’s so glad Michael texted him, he’s glad he gets to be in bed in a little while, he’s so appreciative that he didn’t have to wait for the bus, which reminds him…

He gives Michael a quick kiss before dropping down to his knees, his hands already undoing his jeans. Michael smirks at the sight before him. “What’s this for?”

Harry lets his tongue lap at the head of his dick, making Michael’s smirk drop to an open mouthed gasp. “For picking me up.” He hollows his cheeks to take him down, his hands gripped at the back of Michael’s thighs as they tremble slightly.

“I –I should pick you up more often,” he stutters out. Harry would prefer he not talk, so he sinks down again.

It doesn’t take long before Harry’s jaw is tensing from use and Michael is so hard that it looks painful. Harry stands up and removes the rest of his clothes, his own jeans falling to the floor as he walks over to the couch and bends himself over one of the arms in wait. Michael used to blush when Harry would just offer himself up like this, no words, just his ass in the air, but it only took a few weeks of messing around for Michael to stop gawking so much and get his shit together.

Harry smiles seeing that he came prepared, wrestling the lube and a new condom out of his abandoned jeans. Michael actually smiles when he comes to stand behind Harry and starts slowly massaging his fingers into him. This part goes a lot smoother than it used to when they first started this…whatever it is they have going. He only had to be shown a couple of times, and now Michael fingers him almost as well as he does himself. 

When his fingers slide out, Harry turns to watch as Michael rolls on the condom. He raises his eyebrows at Harry when he’s completely covered so Harry inspects the tip to make sure it‘s fitting snug against Michael’s skin and gives a quick nod of approval.

Relief is all Harry’s brain can process when they start. Relief from work and the day and every single thing he doesn’t want to think about in this moment. His only focus is the way Michael is fucking him and how nice it is to simply take it.

It’s nearly two when Harry kisses Michael goodbye at the door. There is no promise of when they’ll see each other again. There never is, but they both know it’ll only be a matter of time.

“Text me later, yeah?”

Harry nods and waves him off. He doesn’t know why Michael always says that. Harry never texts him, and they both know it, but he nods regardless just to keep up the charade of friendship they have going.

His shower feels like heaven the moment the water hits him so much so that he hates to get out. His eyes are practically begging to shut when he gets into bed, but his phone vibrating next to him draws his attention from sleep. He can sense who it is before he even looks at it.

Colin: _‘Hey. You awake?’_

Harry scoffs at the message and quickly replies. ‘ _No_.’

Colin: ‘ _Clearly. Let me come over so we can be not awake together.’_

 _‘I’m going to sleep.’_ Harry isn’t in the mood to chat with him at all, what he wants is to be unconscious. ‘ _You should do the same, Colin.’_

Colin: _‘So what, you don’t want me to come over or something?’_

_‘I want to go to bed. See you later.’_

It takes him a while to respond back, but finally he does.

Colin: _‘Whatever. Prick.’_

He sighs shoving his phone under his pillow. He doesn’t give two shits if Colin is mad at him. If he wanted to have sex with him then Colin should’ve texted him hours ago like a normal person, like Michael had sense enough to do. Harry still doesn’t care when he drifts off and is finally able to rest for the night, alone and snuggled into his favorite pillow just the way he likes.

Before opening his eyes Harry can tell that Niall is somewhere in his flat. He can smell food in the air which could only mean Niall stole ingredients from the restaurant because Harry is certain there isn’t a single edible thing in his own refrigerator.

Harry doesn’t have to wonder where he is for much longer before he knocks on the bedroom door and enters without invitation. “Shouldn’t you be awake by now?” he flops down right beside Harry, tearing his sheet away when he tries to burrow under it.

“No.” Harry says defiantly into his pillow.

Niall sighs above him somewhere. “There’s some breakfast left in there. You better hurry though... Don’t you leave for work in like twenty minutes?”

Now Harry sighs, sitting up reluctantly to look for his phone. He feels a smile tug at his lips looking at the photo on his lock screen as he reads the time. Ten past seven. He feels like the living dead.

Niall starts flipping through channels while Harry drags himself to his kitchen. When Niall said there was food left Harry thought he meant a few scraps of bacon or like half a glass of milk, but there’s enough food on his stove to feed three people. There are two omelets stuffed with veggies and cheese and a large stack of pancakes towering over a platter of pork sausages. There’s sliced fruit placed next to a bowl of yogurt and granola, and there’s even tea and sliced lemon ready for Harry to drink. He isn’t sure what he’d do without Niall. Starve more than likely.

He’s nibbling a bit of everything when Niall comes walking in packing up the food for later.

“You know your door was unlocked again.” Niall says as he’s scraping the sausage into a container. “Anyone could’ve just walked in here.”

Harry smirks over his tea. “You mean like _you_ just walked in here.”

Niall fixes him with a look. “I mean someone _without_ a key.” He starts scraping the fruit into a container as well. “You’ve got to start checking the fucking door at night, Harry. No offense but this isn’t exactly the safest part of town.”

Again. They’re talking about his flat _again._ “I know, I know. I thought I locked it after he-” Niall raises a challenging eyebrow at him. Harry chooses his next words very carefully. “I thought I locked it when _Michael_ left. I guess I didn’t.”

Niall obviously wasn’t expected him to say Michael. He keeps quiet for as long as his brain will let him, which honestly wasn’t very long at all. “As long as it wasn’t fucking Colin…” he mutters mostly to himself. “Well, check next time, alright? I don’t want to walk in here one day and find you dead in the toilet.”

“Okay. I’ll try harder next time, my love.” Harry bites down on the small smirk Niall would kill him for flashing right now, but his teasing words pull a smile from Niall just like he knew they would.

“Fuck off, mate.”

His first job isn’t nearly as demanding as his second, which is awesome considering his first job pays a lot more as well. He had to stop by the bank to deposit more money, so he arrives at the community recreation center just a little past eight, though it’s not like anyone is there yet to nag him about it first thing.

This job is one of the easiest he’s ever had. The only thing that’s even remotely difficult about working here is having to deal with the occasional rude or entitled asshole, but that’s to be expected when you have to handle people all day.

He begins by making his way to the different storage areas and making sure all the equipment is still present and accounted for. Next he heads to the basketball and tennis courts to lace up the nets for the day’s use as well as stopping by the locker rooms to set out new towels. The center officially opens in about fifteen minutes, so Harry uses that time on the football pitch like he always does kicking a ball around, telling himself that he’s practicing. Really he’s just killing time.

A particularly accurate kick lands the ball in the left goal, just when his manager calls out for him from the door. Harry takes off in his direction. It must be nine or at least very close to it.

“Morning.” The man distractedly greets Harry as he flips back and forth through his binder.

“Good morning, David.” Harry says brightly as he swings himself up to perch on the back of the bench. He catches David’s wary expression at Harry’s bright enthusiasm so early in the day. David’s permanent state of worry verging on discomfort never fails to entertain him.

“Did you set up the nets, Harry?” he asks with his face still stuck in his binder.

“Yes.”

“Inventory of equipment?”

“Yep.” Harry beams down at him. They go through this same checklist every single day, of course he did the inventory.

David meets his eyes when he stops flipping through his papers. “Did you check reservations when you got here?”

Harry sucks in a harsh breath, hanging his head, “Shit. No, David I didn’t. I-” David’s face screws up into a panic. “I did it last night before I left. We’re all good. Ready to go.”

He gives David a small nudge and a grin when he looks like he’s breathing again. Honestly, Harry doesn’t know what the man is so worried about happening all the time. Harry has had this job for years. It’s so simple a monkey could do it.

David tries to return Harry’s joking grin but it looks odd on his face when his eyes are still so anxious. “Y-You scared me for a minute there. Thought we might have some of the courts double booked or something.” He laughs nervously.

Two people trying to reserve tennis balls for the exact same time slot?! How devastating.

Harry smiles kindly at his boss as he hops down beside him. “I would never let something like that happen. I swear.” He promises.

People start shuffling in as soon as Harry opens the doors. The flow of people coming in and out is steady well past lunch and not one scheduling tragedy occurred, Harry is glad to say. He keeps busy monitoring everyone on the property and making sure people are only using the courts or equipment for the time they reserved.

Later in the afternoon is the time that the reality of how absolutely bored he is starts to hit him once the crowds start to dwindle. Not as many people are around as it gets closer to dinner time so he gets to take a break and sit down for a while.

Clock watching behind the front desk only makes time move slower. _Much_ slower.

He ends up dragging his phone out when all else fails and starts fiddling with it, the photo of his lock screen curving his lips into a soft smile. Before he knows it he’s pulling up the rest of his photos and swiping through them, each one warming his heart more than the last. He’s looking at his favorite one from a few months back when a text comes through and disturbs the memory.

Niall: ‘ _Ran into your sister a few mins ago_ … _She says hi by the way_.’

Harry doesn’t reply yet, he just stares at his phone waiting for it. He knows it’s coming.

Niall: ‘So _she did something really nice with her hair today…I kind of told her it looked really pretty_.’

Harry grins to himself. He knew it was coming. ‘ _Oh_ _I’m sure you did.’_

Niall: _‘Shit. Should I not have done that? Is she going to think that’s weird?’_

Wherever Gemma is at the moment Harry is sure she’s probably still smiling thinking about Niall. _‘She’s not going to think it’s weird, I promise. You should text her if you think it came off wrong.’_ Harry encourages him. As far as men go, his sister could end up with a lot worse than his best mate. He didn’t used to be a fan of their little mutual crush because it was really fucking weird, but as more and more time goes by Gemma and Niall seem to make more and more sense…

Niall: ‘ _Nah. I don’t want to bother her.’_

Harry shakes his head at the two of them.He’s been leaving little bread crumbs of hints for the both of them to ‘find’ their way to each other for months, and yet somehow they still haven’t. _‘Trust me. You should bother her. She won’t mind.’_

Harry gets a text from the woman herself about half an hour later. Gemma: ‘ _Hello, Harry!_ ’ She small talks with him for a while then finally she gets to the point. ‘So, _I saw Niall while I was out. He seems like he’s doing really well...’_

Harry sighs. Here they go again.

Traffic through the recreation center is picking back up once Gemma has weaseled all the information about Niall out of him that she can without flat out asking whether or not he is interested in her.

He needs to leave the desk area to do a quick walk through since there are now more people on the courts when his phone vibrates again keeping him where he is. He shakes his head. Aside from the man’s weight at birth or his blood type, Harry can’t think of anything else Gemma needs that she doesn’t already know about Niall. She has known him almost as long as Harry has, but his smirk falls from his face when he doesn’t read Gemma’s name like he had expected.

He reads the message with a heavy expression, not really knowing what to say back. His eyes and fingers hover over the screen for a long time before he feels the urge to just slip the phone into his pocket like he never even saw the message at all.

He’s about to do just that when a rush of little girls come through the door and a mildly stern voice that obviously holds no authority startles Harry out of his indecision. He nearly drops the phone altogether trying to hide it as the man approaches. Harry quickly stuffs it into his pocket. He can reply to her later.

“Hi. Sorry,” Harry apologizes. “Can I help you with something?” he asks the man over the cheerful laughter and giggling suddenly filling the air around them. It’s definitely louder in here than it has been all day.

The man rolls his eyes in the girls’ direction. “Hey, mate. Yeah, we reserved the football field, sorry about them by the way. They’re just excited. They aren’t usually this wild.” His eyes are happy and only slightly apologetic watching a few of them explore around the lobby in their little cleats.

Harry observes them too, wondering how many of them are his actual children and which ones aren’t because they can’t all be his. Harry gets out the schedule and checks the time slot. “Mr. Liam Payne, five-thirty to six-thirty.” The man’s face screws up as he splutters out a laugh. He’s almost bent in half from laughing so much.

“Now, that’s a name I never thought I’d hear myself being called!”

“Are you not Mr. Payne?” Harry asks with wide eyes. Is this an actual scheduling conflict? Did he overbook the football field for five-thirty? Is this the great tragedy finally taking place that David has been predicting all this time?

“God no.” The boy answers with a horror across his face. “I’m Louis Tomlinson.”

Another taller man enters and comes up to the desk to stand with him looking oblivious to everything except the group of little girls edging their way closer to the door leading out to the field. He shoots them a stern glance when they check to see if anyone is watching and they all miraculously stop where they are.

“ _This_ is Liam. I told him to reserve the field for me because I was busy at the time. Clearly we had a lack of communication there.” Louis tells him giving Liam an impossible look.

Liam still looks oblivious. “What?” he asks innocently.

“I got the names mixed up on the reservation sheet. No big deal.” Harry says.

“He thought I was Mr. Payne.” Louis snorts another laugh and then visibly shudders. “I don’t think I’ve had nightmares scarier than that. Besides, you’d take my name wouldn’t you, Li?” he nudges him in the side with a quick wink at Harry.

Liam’s face is horrified now as well. “ _What_? Oh God no.”

Harry’s been watching their exchange without laughing but now even he lets out a chuckle at how apparently ludicrous it is for them to be married. “Well now that we know for sure who everyone is, you guys can head on back. The field should be clear and there should be footballs already-”

“But we don’t know _your_ name.” Louis points out with a raised eyebrow and an easy smile.

Liam rolls his eyes at his friend when he catches Louis’ cheeky tone. “I’m gonna go.” he announces flatly before rounding up the girls and leading them outside. “It was nice to meet you.” He calls back before the door shuts.

Now he’s left there with Louis staring up at him, the same innocent questioning lift in his expression. He’s charming and amazingly good looking, Harry will give him that, but he has more than enough to deal with in his life, especially when it comes to the two men he’s currently sleeping with. Harry definitely doesn’t need to add a third to the equation.

“What’s your name?” he asks again like Harry might have forgotten his original purpose for hanging back. On the contrary; Harry knows exactly what Louis is after.

“I’m Harry… and I’ve actually got a lot of stuff to get done here.” he smiles at Louis and then he’s turning his back to flip through a blank stack of papers that he hopes looks very important.

“Oh.” Louis says with a significant amount of spirit gone from his voice. “Well you’re really busy and I need to get out there to help Liam, so…”

Harry looks back to nod at him with another kind smile. “Yeah okay, I’ll see you around. If you guys need anything I’ll be here.”

“Okay, sure. Thanks.” Louis’ eyes are the only sign that shows his slight disappointment as he leaves.

Harry stops fake organizing when he’s sure Louis has made it all the way outside. He flops down in the chair to watch Louis and the eight little girls who accompany them run around directionless and wild as Liam tries to rein them all in. He doesn’t know why they seemed so against the idea of them sharing a last name. To Harry they look so close that they could easily be mistaken for something more than friends.

He sits there for a while trying to remember what it is he’s actually supposed to be doing when he feels his phone digging into his skin from the way he sat down. He pulls it from his pocket, the lock screen photo of his daughter doing nothing to make him feel better as he stares at it.

When Harry opens the message guilt weighs him down just as much as it did the first time he read it.

Elaine: _‘She’s been asking for you.’_

He types and then deletes his different responses so many times that he loses count. He finally chooses something and commits to sending it. ‘ _I was thinking of stopping by over the weekend. Tell her I’ll visit her soon._ ’

He puts the phone back in his pocket hoping that was enough to satisfy both parties, but Elaine isn’t like him. She responds back immediately.

Elaine: ‘ _Harry, she’s been asking for you for days now. She hasn’t seen you in over a week.’_

Before he can even think to reply, his manager’s door is swinging open to let him out. Harry rushes to hide the fact that he’s been sitting around messing with his phone as he rounds the corner.

“I’m heading off. I’ll see you tomorrow.” David tells him. He must notice the slight look of anxiety on Harry’s face but he doesn’t say anything. “Make sure to lock up, okay? Have a good night.” Harry absently wishes him a good night as well as he leaves, his attention now back to the screen of his phone.

He glances out the window to the only group left in the center. They’re all running around trying to gather the footballs as their reserved time draws to an end. He lets the image of Louis cackling while trying to steal Liam’s ball distract him.

He’s still being willfully sidetracked when they all come strolling in, every single one of them marked with grass stains and dirt. Everyone looks tired from playing, but no one looks quite as exhausted as the two adults leading everyone inside. The girls take off through the lobby and out the front door as soon as Louis ushers them in.

“You’re not supposed to run inside!” Louis yells after them, but none of them pays him much attention as they giggle out to his and Liam’s vehicles. Liam shakes his head and jogs to catch up with them when Louis looks too dead to move.

Harry pretends to be occupied with something at the desk when Louis drags himself over. “A couple of bottles of sleeping pills would be really nice right about now.” He jokes.

Harry glances up at him. He doesn’t seem like he’s flirting with him, just being polite so Harry speaks back. “I think handling that many little girls at once certainly deserves a medically induced coma.” Louis laughs at his attempt at a joke, but what he doesn’t know is that Harry really is impressed that he and Liam could actually manage it. He could never do something like that.

“Well the man that usually coaches the girls’ team had to quit a few weeks ago because his wife is having a baby.” Louis explains without being prompted. Harry listens with interest as he barrels on through his story. “The girls were so sad when they found out they couldn’t play this year. I mean, _I_ had so much fun playing at their age that I just couldn’t help myself so I volunteered to take over, and I couldn’t do it alone with so many of them at once, so of course I had to drag Liam into it as well and- and I’m completely over sharing and boring you.” Louis ducks his head to try and hide his small blush.

“I don’t mind.” Harry grins so Louis sees that he really doesn’t. “I think it’s great that you’re coaching them. Most parents wouldn’t have even bothered.”

‘Yeah, well…” Louis shrugs like it’s no big deal, but then his eyes expand to scarily large proportions.

“Parents?! No, no, no, no, no. They’re not _mine._ Well, like three of them are mine as in _my_ sisters, but they’re not mine as in my _children_!”

Harry blinks back to take in the mortification on Louis’ face. He looks completely stunned at this particular moment, but besides that he looks to be older than Harry so he very well could have fathered two or three of the little girls he saw running around with him today, hell, Harry is barely twenty-four and he has a three year old.

“First you try to marry me off to Liam and now I’m a dad of eight!” Louis clutches at his chest with a deep drawn-out sigh. “What’s next, Harry, telling me I’m straight?” he laughs.

Harry blushes this time. He sometimes forgets that most gay men his age don’t have kids and that it’s just him. Actually, most straight men manage to make it to Harry’s age without reproducing, so Harry really shouldn’t assume things. “I am so sorry. I saw you come in with them and you were talking like they were family so I just assumed.”

He must really look sorry because Louis gives him a reassuring smile before he speaks. “No Harry, it’s fine. But for the record though only three of them are related to me. The rest are their friends from school. I don’t usually babysit eight kids at once. Oh, and I forced Li to help of course. He had no choice in the matter.”

“Well at least you have help, then.” Harry offers.

“Yeah.” Louis nods. There’s only a few seconds of silence before Louis senses that his time here is up. “I uh, better be heading out there. If I leave them for too long they might kill Liam.”

Harry chuckles at him. Louis is pretty funny, he can admit that.

“Okay. Have a good night.”

“Same to you, Harry.” Louis waves.

It’s quiet as soon as the door shuts behind him. His phone has been laying on the counter the whole time. Harry’s attention was only half focused on it as he chatted with Louis.  He picks it up now and turns it over a few times in his hand.  

 _She’s been asking for you for days._ He responds to Elaine before he can be distracted again.

_‘I’ll be there. I’m leaving work soon.’_

Harry makes his rounds cleaning and preparing each part of the center for tomorrow morning when it opens again. He takes down the nets and empties the used towels into the laundry room. He does inventory of all the equipment and even checks the damn reservation book just like David always tells him to before he leaves.

It’s nearly eight when Harry starts walking to Elaine’s. He could’ve taken the bus which would have gotten him there in less than half the time, but for some reason today he felt like walking.

He isn’t sure what time it is when he finally knocks on the door but the look Elaine gives him says it’s much too late to be visiting a toddler.

She doesn’t say anything to him as she widens the door for him to walk in and neither does Christopher, her boyfriend. He nods at Harry from where he is in the kitchen cleaning up with a quick wave.

“How are you?” Harry asks her. She’s wearing that expression that says she wants to be mad at Harry, but the fact that he showed up to see his daughter at all probably makes it hard to do. “How is everything?” he tries again.

He sees Christopher give her an encouraging raise of his eyebrows like maybe they talked about this before Harry even got here. He’s sure they probably did.

Elaine seems to struggle with whether or not she should pursue the argument she wants to start, but then she deflates in a weary sigh, her temper suddenly evaporated. “I’m glad you decided to come, Haz. She’s been talking about you a lot.”

Harry nods trying to mask the way his chest aches when he thinks about it. He misses her too.  

“Do you mind if I go ahead?” he gestures down the hallway. “I have to be at work soon…I can only stay for a little while.” He tells them both.

She gives Harry a tight smile. He appreciates how much she’s trying these days.  His visits used to end in tears and raised voices, but since Elaine found Chris she’s a lot better at accepting Harry for what he is rather than trying to change him. He’s aware of the fact that her change in attitude is greatly due to the calming nature of her boyfriend and now stand-in father figure, but still, he appreciates the effort.

Harry expects to find the door to his daughter’s room wide open when he reaches it, but he has to push it forward just to be able to poke his head through. Her little bed is rumpled with about ten of her favorite stuffed animals scattered all over it and her pillow on the floor. Harry looks amongst the other corners of the room but he doesn’t see her amongst the furniture and toys. He’s about to call Elaine and Chris to ask where the hell she is when a tiny noise catches his ear from behind the door.

He takes a few more steps along the door and then slowly peeks around it to the other side. Calla screams when she catches sight of his face and greets him with peals of laughter when she realizes she’s been found.

“What on Earth are you doing way down here?” Harry laughs at her little hands fumbling to hide her face when he stoops down to her level on the floor. “May I join you?”

She lets her hands drop to nod excitedly at him, the dark curly mess of hair on her head an exact replica of Harry’s. She drags along a green stuffed rabbit and crawls into his lap as soon as he’s close enough to the ground. She situates herself so that the rabbit can be seen from all angles as she presents it.

“Look, Daddy.” She practically shoves the thing down his throat. “This is my new rabbit.”

“I can see that, love.” Harry tilts his head back so that he can see the rabbit rather than ingest it. “It’s very nice. Who gave you that kitten?”

She goes to answer him but then stops and scrunches up her face in confusion. “No. It’s a rabbit.”

Harry gravely shakes his head at his mistake. “Oh. Of course it is! I meant to ask who gave you that giraffe.”

Calla shakes her head again, but now she’s grinning as she slowly gets the joke. “It’s not a giraffe!”

Harry picks it up and dangles it from one of its legs like he’s checking. “Are you quite sure? It looks more like a fish to me…” 

Calla laughs into his chest. “Harry!” she giggles, “Say rabbit!” His smile weakens, but only by a little. She calls him that more and more the older she gets. She just gets excited, and she doesn’t even realize what she’s saying, but still it stings.

Having to answer to his name rather than Daddy didn’t really bother him too much the first few times it happened, but that was before he had witnessed Chris answering to it instead. Chris might be more of a father to her than Harry ever will be, but that day the very word made his heart ache inside his chest.

“Say it, Daddy!” she laughs again, shoving the rabbit back up for him to see.

“Okay. Okay. Your _rabbit_ is very lovely. I’m glad to have met him.” She seems satisfied when Harry plops a quick kiss to the stupid toy’s forehead.

She’s up and walking across the room to dig for something under her bed once Harry finishes teasing her. When she comes back, hair even wilder, she’s carrying a small bucket full of crayons and a coloring book of animals in her hands. “Look!” She tells him when she flips to the page that has a rabbit on it. She colored it green just like her toy.

“That looks amazing!” Harry tells her and her eyes light up. She shows him the other ones she’s colored of different animals, and Harry is actually impressed with how much better she is at staying inside the lines.

She turns to a new page with two elephants playing and settles down on her stomach in front of it. Harry didn’t realize he had been invited to color with her until she shoves the bucket over to him.

Harry kisses her on the cheek when he slides down to the floor as well. “Thank you for sharing with me.”

“You’re welcome.” She responds back almost immediately. Elaine must really be drilling the manners these days.

Coloring only lasts about ten minutes when Harry hears a big yawn from the other side of the crayon bucket. Her eyes are tired even though she keeps on working. It’s way past her bedtime, and she’s still in her regular clothes so she hasn’t even had a bath yet. He sits up causing Calla’s eyes to follow his movements. She sits up too when she notices him placing crayons back into the bucket.

“Where are you going?”

He closes the book on their incomplete picture and scoops her up into his arms. He hates this part so much.

“Come here, love. I have to go to work. I’m sorry.” Harry doesn’t know why he’s apologizing to a three year old. It’s not like she cares about his pathetic excuses. The only thing she cares about is him walking out the door. He’s relived when he pulls back from their tight hug and sees that her eyes are dry. It makes it ten times worse when she cries.

She looks sleepy in his arms so he places her down in her bed. “I love you.” He tells her with another kiss to her cheek. “I’ll go get your mum so you can get ready for bed, yeah?”

He’s almost out the door when her little voice stops him dead in his tracks.

“Will you come back?” 

It feels like he has been kicked in the chest. “Yes. Of course I’ll come back to see you.” Harry smiles at her. “I’ll be back soon.” Her eyes are already closed when she’s nods telling him goodbye.

He can’t walk straight out of her room to see Chris and Elaine so he stops just outside her door to collect himself. He loves seeing his daughter more than anything in the world, but it doesn’t change the fact that it hurts to leave her.

When he’s sure he can make it past them without looking like he’s about to cry Harry pushes himself from the wall. He draws their attention from where they are both sitting on the sofa. He clears his throat when he walks in. “Uh, I put her in bed. I know she hasn’t had a bath yet, but she was really tired…”

Elaine gives him a small smile. “Okay, Haz. Thanks.” She stands to walk him to the door with Chris right by her side. “I saw the money you added to her account this morning.... Thanks, but it’s too much, Harry.”

That account is for all of the things Calla may need now or in the future. Of course it’s not too much money. There can never be enough in there to be quite honest. “I put in some extra hours so I got paid more this time. It’s nothing.” He shrugs.

“It’s not _nothing,_ ” Elaine claims. “You have to live too Harry and you can’t do that when you’re giving her more than half of your money each month. She has everything she needs.”

Harry lives in the cheapest flat he could find and works two jobs, he doesn’t have a vehicle, and Niall and Erin pretty much keep him well fed. What else would he spend his money on if not his child?

He’s glad Chris is there tonight so this won’t turn into an argument. It’s really the last thing he needs. “I have to get to work. I’ll see you later.”

“When?” Elaine huffs with her arms crossed against her chest.

“I don’t know?” Harry never gives a date and time for his next visit that way he can’t break his promise if he doesn’t show up. “I’ll be back in a few days to see her.”

She looks like she might push it some more but she doesn’t. “Just make sure it’s not as long as this time. That’s not fair to her, Haz.”

He nods as he leaves them both standing in the doorway watching him go, the image of Chris with a protective yet comforting hand over Elaine’s shoulder enough to convince him that they are what Calla needs and deserves, not him.

He has to take a couple of buses to make it to the restaurant on time, but when he does he throws himself straight into the list of tasks Erin has for him so that he can’t think about the million things bouncing around in his head.

The whole time he works, he sees his daughter’s face and each time he thinks about her his heart breaks a little bit more. He feels like he is doing the best that he can, but for some reason it doesn’t feel like enough. He doesn’t know what else he could do to feel like he’s enough when he knows that he isn’t.

His phone vibrates when he’s nearly done and about to lock up.

Colin: ‘ _You in a better mood tonight?’_

_‘I didn’t realize I was in a bad mood yesterday.’_

Colin: _‘You were, but you can make up for it ;)’_

Harry stares blankly at the winking face. He hates when Colin tries to flirt with him. Harry is already fucking him, there’s no need to charm him at this point. ‘ _I’ll be home in a bit.’_ he tells him.

Colin: _‘I’m already on the way.’_

Harry scoffs down at his phone _. ‘You didn’t even know I’d say yes to you coming over.’_ Harry points out _._

Colin: ‘ _But you did.’_

Colin beats Harry to his flat so when he walks up the stairs he’s already there waiting.

Colin is right behind him as they walk inside, already taking off his jacket and shoes. His hands start undressing Harry the moment the door closes. “What took you so long?”

Harry stands there and lets Colin remove his shirt and jeans. “Bus was late.”

Colin hums with a shrug as he removes the rest of his own clothing. Harry hasn’t lifted a finger since he got here. Colin starts stroking himself as he takes in Harry’s bare skin. “Where do you want to go?”

Harry doesn’t really care. It’s late, he’s exhausted, and the mother of his child hates him. Where Colin fucks him is the least of his concerns.

“Here is fine.” He says turning around to face the wall. He hears the bottle of lube open from behind him and then Colin’s fingers are moving to quickly open him up. It’s rough the way he jabs inside, but Harry doesn’t complain.

“Are you mad about something?” Colin asks with his rough fingers still prodding.

Harry tilts his head to the side so he can see him. Colin has never been interested in his feelings before. “No.”

He hears a scoff from behind him and the quick removal of fingers. “You sure seem like it.”

“I’m not mad.” Harry turns to watch Colin roll on a condom. He nods when it’s all the way on then turns back to brace himself against the wall. Rough hands are on him to spread his cheeks apart.

“Well something’s up with you. I was just asking to be polite.”

Colin being polite? Harry wants to laugh. He can feel the very tip of him just waiting against his skin. “Look, do you want to do this or not?”

Colin doesn’t give him an answer he just pushes inside, his hands gripped around Harry’s waist as their skin meets. It’s not at all as pleasant as when Michael did this to him, but it does make his mind blank and empty of everything except the way he’s being stretched around the idiot behind him.

He hadn’t even realized he was soft until Colin’s thrusts start to make him harden up. He wraps a hand around himself to find the release he needs because Colin won’t do it for him. Harry comes without his help, his face pushed into the hard wall.

The pounding continues until he feels almost numb everywhere that Colin is. It slows to an eventual stop with Colin finishing himself off with his hands fisted deep into Harry’s skin.

Colin drops a sloppy kiss to Harry’s shoulder that burns when he heads to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. When he comes back Harry is still standing in the same place.

“It’s late, so I’m going to go.” He’s just putting his jacket back on.

“Okay. Thanks for stopping by.”

Colin’s laugh is empty sounding. “Yeah.” He does a sweep of the floor to make sure he has everything. “Next time maybe you’ll be more fun and less pissed off.”

Harry could tell him to go fuck himself, but the phrase kind of loses value when Harry just did it for him less than ten minutes ago. “Good night.” He says instead, closing and _locking_ the door behind him.

The silence is where everything Harry was blocking out comes hurtling back to the forefront of his mind. He has now stooped so low that he’s even a disappointment to the man using him for sex. What was supposed to feel like release only makes him feel worse as he rinses himself off in the shower, gingerly wiping over his ass which still hurts.

He checks his phone just before he’s about to go to sleep finding a message from Niall about an hour ago.

Niall: ‘ _Lock your door please.’_

His thoughtfulness makes him grin. _‘I already did. See you tomorrow.’_

Harry deliberately leaves out the part about him locking the door after Colin left. He has enough people questioning his morals and character tonight. He doesn’t need his best friend added to the list.


	2. Louis

Louis’ head is resting beside his keyboard face down in the palms of his hands when he groans to himself loud enough that the people walking by his office probably think he is dying.

He’s not of course; he’s just trying to remember why he thought it was a good idea to trade lunch for getting a head start on the new program he’s supposed to be working on. His stomach has been rumbling nonstop since noon and it’s not even four o’clock yet.

He drags his head up to glare angrily at his screen as he forces himself to start working again. He still can’t believe he actually worked through his lunch break. Who is he even becoming these days? Liam?

His door opens to let the very man he was just thinking of inside the room, carrying all of his things on his shoulder like he’s going home. “I’m heading off. I’ll meet you at your mum’s in a little while.”

Louis’ eyes squeeze shut. _Liam Payne_ is leaving work _before_ him and now he’s just been sorely reminded that he has four little girls to pick up right after he leaves here. Louis briefly wonders if he’ll ever get the chance to eat again. Probably not if things continue at this rate.

He doesn’t know where his head has been lately. “I forgot about the football thing.” Louis confesses as his stomach makes an obnoxious sound. “I also forgot lunch earlier...”

Liam is watching him warily as Louis shuts down his computer and starts gathering up his things.

“Are you sure you want to do this today? I mean, I could do it myself I guess, but that’s eight against one and they barely listen as it is when it’s the two of us.”

Louis waves him off as he locks up his office in a rush. “No, no, Li. We’re good. I’m going to go get my stuff from my flat and then I’ll meet you over at my mum’s to get the girls and we can drive over together.” Liam isn’t looking very reassured, but he was also a bit nervous about coaching girls’ football when Louis first mentioned it and look how great that has turned out so far. Liam still eyes him like he’s unsure.

He had to convince Liam that he was fine the whole time they were leaving, but eventually Louis got him to back off. He’s just having an off day today is all.

Once home at his flat, it only takes him a few minutes to run up his stairs to change into his gear and run right back out to his car. He hadn’t felt this frazzled when they took the girls to play a couple of days ago. Maybe it was the initial excitement of getting his little sisters to enjoy the sport as much as him or the fresh air or something, but something has to change if they’re going to continue doing this. He and Liam need a better system. Maybe they can bring their change of clothes to work to cut out the extra trip back to their flats to make things easier on football days. He turns down another street already planning to run that plan by Liam before next time to see if it makes a difference in their preparedness, because right now Louis’ starving as well as rushing, two very difficult things to pull off at once.

On Monday he had waltzed right into the center with about as much eagerness as the girls. That boy at check-in had mistaken him for Liam’s husband and the father of multiple children. Louis shakes his head laughing again at how crazy of a mix up that was.

That guy at the check-in desk; actually that really fit man called…what was his name again? Harry? Yeah, Harry. He seemed so bored sitting there playing with his phone, checking people in, making reservations…

Reservations. _Fuck._

Did he even do that? Did Louis reserve the field like he was supposed to? He doesn’t think he did, and _fuck_. How the hell are they supposed to play with no field? His fingers are calling Liam before he turns down his mum’s street.

“Hello?”

“Hey, did you by any chance reserve the football field for today? Please say yes.” Louis sends up an optimistic prayer that his best mate has come through for him (yet again) and somehow predicted Louis doing the exact opposite of what he was supposed to.

“Uh, no? You said you were going to do it.” Louis _knows_ he was _supposed_ to do it. That wasn’t his fucking question. “Lou, you didn’t reserve the field?! What the hell were you doing the whole time you were in there talking to that guy?” Inconspicuously and shamelessly trying to flirt with a gorgeous man who wasn’t reciprocating of course, what else?

They arrive in Jay’s drive just seconds apart. “Do you think I should call?”

Liam scoffs into the receiver even though he and Louis are both out of their cars now and can have this conversation face to face. When they’re standing in front of each other Liam swiftly hangs up on him. “It’s a little late for that now, don’t you think? We’re supposed to be there in fifteen minutes, but sure, call ahead.” he rolls his eyes.

Liam watches him with crossed arms and an unimpressed expression as he Googles the number for the recreation center. Someone picks up on the second ring, and Louis is thrilled to recognize Harry’s voice on the other end. If only he had seemed even remotely interested the other day…

“This is the front desk of the community recreation center, how may I help you?”

“Harry! Hi, how is everything?” Louis says much too brightly. Even Liam gives him a bewildered look at how enthusiastic that was. Louis needs to bring it down a notch or twelve.

“Uh, fine I guess?” There’s a few beats of silence on Harry’s end and then a slow, “I-I’m sorry, who is this again?”

Oh right, Louis forgot to actually mention who the hell he is. “Sorry. This is Louis. I don’t know if you remember me and my mate from a few days ago? We reserved the football field for a bunch of little girls.” Louis explains trying to help Harry identify him.

It takes a few seconds of silence before he responds. “Louis Tomlinson, none husband to Liam Payne. Father of zero.” There’s a slight huff into the phone that Louis chooses to believe is a laugh, or at least a very light chuckle. Harry could just be a heavy breather. “I remember,” Harry tells him.

So, Louis isn’t the only freak who remembers absolute strangers’ names days after meeting them. He finds that slightly disturbing considering he couldn’t even remember to eat today which is one of the most basic necessities of human life. Louis only remembers Harry’s name because he was absolutely gorgeous. Maybe Harry was a tad bit more interested than he let on? One can only dream.

“I realize this is ridiculous and extremely short notice, but is there anyone using the football pitch in the next like ten minutes till around six-thirty? Please say no.”

Liam is wearing a grimace now as he watches Louis. If the field is already taken Liam might do something crazy like ignore him for a whole hour or even more extreme, pout.

“No. There’s no one signed up. I could fill you in though so the field will be waiting when you get here.”

Louis’ smile stretches across his face as he thanks the boy on the phone over and over. “Thank you! Yes! Please hold it for us. We’re literally on the way right now. We’ll be there any minute.”

Liam’s face scrunches down into even deeper lines at his string of white lies, but Harry is reserving the field for them; that’s all that matters. Liam should be just as pleased as Louis right now.

Louis hangs up after a quick goodbye and Liam cuts his eyes over at him. “You know it took us at least ten minutes just to get them sorted into two vehicles the last time. We’ll never make it on time.”

Louis forgot about the whole ‘ _I don’t want to be separated from any of my friends even though we’re all going to the same exact place_ ’ fiasco of Monday. He sighs, opening the front door to the house. Small high pitched voices are the only sound discernable as he and Liam walk in.

His sisters immediately come flying from around the corner, with a few of their mates curiously following behind to see what the excitement is all about.  Félicité hugs him tight, but the twins go straight to Liam, nearly tipping him over from their combined weight. Traitors. His mother comes into view looking almost as frazzled as Louis. Louis can’t blame her as he takes in the swarm of small bodies all pulling on their cleats as they chatter incessantly. There are just so many of them and they’re always so excited about _everything_.

“I don’t know how you two got anything accomplished last time. They’ve only been here half an hour and I’m about ready to pull out my hair.” Jay tells him in a quick embrace. She looks tired today, but he can’t blame her when she has a house full of her own kids and now five extra from the girls’ school.

“Oh we got loads done. A couple of them even made actual contact with the ball,” Louis jokes. They really weren’t that bad at all. Louis isn’t sure they _accomplished_ much of anything the last time they played, but they did have fun at least.

Jay laughs but then her face turns serious when the girls are all laced up and fumbling around each other like excited puppies.  “Get them out.” She silently mouths in a plea over their little heads.

He makes Liam be the bad guy and split them up between the two cars, cutting their transition time in half from Monday. In the end only a few pout, and even that is short lived since they are all reunited as soon as they arrive at the recreation center.

Liam tries to maintain order with his stern looks and glances but it’s a wasted effort as soon as their little feet hit the pavement. They take off towards the building with Louis barely keeping up as he locks up his car. They beat him to the front door, but just barely, Louis calling out to them when they push through the double doors. “Ladies, you’re not supposed to run in here! Save it for the field!”

“Sorry!” a few of them chorus back as they crowd together, and Louis is quite sure no one is paying him a bit of attention, well no one except the very attractive man at the front desk pretending to not watch them all out of the corner of his eye.  

The girls all crowd around the door but they aren’t brave enough to run out there on their own, so Louis heads over telling himself he’s just checking them all in for their reserved time when really he’s checking out the mop of curls who is still avidly _not_ looking his way.

He greets Harry with a friendly, “We’re here!”  that forces him to look up.

He doesn’t look half as distracted by his phone today. Louis gives him an easy smile, and he’s pleasantly surprised when Harry returns it, even if it does look a little unsure.

“You made it.” Harry checks the time on his phone. “And you’re only a little late by like seven or eight minutes.” Louis shrugs acceptance at his tardiness. Time is a detail Louis has little concern with. Details he is rather concerned with are ones like the photo of the little girl he got a quick glimpse of on Harry’s phone, or the reason Harry seems to be cataloguing his face each time they speak but has yet to show any other interest him.

Maybe he has an equally gorgeous boyfriend? Louis would truly be surprised if he didn’t.

“Thanks again for letting us come in like this on such short notice.”

Harry immediately tries to deflect Louis’ appreciation. “No, it was nothing. I mean, it’s my job here, so…”

“No. You definitely saved my ass. I would have been surrounded by a bunch of crying little girls if you hadn’t.”

“I’m sure they would’ve understood if you had to reschedule.” Harry assures him.

“Nah,” Louis smirks. “Girls get really emotional about that sort of thing. Liam would’ve been inconsolable for days.” Louis is rewarded with an honest, rich laugh from Super Serious Harry just as Liam comes trudging in struggling to carry all of the water bottles in his arms, and he feels victorious.

“You could help, you know.” Liam mutters just as one flowery pink bottle nearly escapes his grasp.

Louis turns back to meet Harry’s eyes, still amused and a little surprised like he didn’t expect to find anything funny today or ever, really. Louis takes another pitiful look at his best friend trying to organize eight children when he can’t even walk three steps without fumbling with the mess in his arms and actually feels bad.

“I should go help him. Mrs. Payne is having a hard time.” Louis jerks his head towards him and Harry nods still looking amused.

Harry gives a grin all on his own before he answers, and it’s warm. “Okay. Just let me know if you need anything.”

Louis leaves the front desk feeling better than the first time he and Harry spoke. That train wreck had ended in Harry ignoring any advances he tried, but at least this time Harry didn’t shuffle around random stacks of paper to avoid his eyes…maybe he isn’t seeing someone after all?

Louis lets a premature fantasy of him and Harry on their first date drift into another equally ridiculous fantasy of Harry actually agreeing to go. The thoughts happily dance around his mind as he sets up footballs in the middle of the pitch and watches them roll into the vicinity of the goal as each girl practices.

 _Harry shy and nervous when Louis picks him up. *Kick*_ “Good try, Phoebs! That was much better!” _Harry revealing how charmed he was when he accidentally got him and Liam confused the day they met.*Kick*_ “Use the sides of your foot not your tippy-toes, Anna.” _Harry yelling at him to pay more attention when all the balls have been used and need to be retrieved from everywhere except the actual goal_. * _Slap_ *

Liam’s palm stings where it makes contact. “I _am_ paying attention!” Louis frowns rubbing at the back of his head. He has no idea when Liam got so bloody violent.

Louis takes off after all the stray balls, some of them not even making it close to the net while others are so far cast they’re nearly in the bushes. His stomach does a mighty rumble just as he kicks the last few back to Liam. Louis cannot wait to sink his teeth into something food related.

He shouldn’t, but as soon as they’re back in the lobby area Louis’ eyes search for Harry. He’s a bit let down when he doesn’t immediately spot him, but then Harry is walking in from somewhere in the back of the building. Louis makes sure the girls are all following Liam to the vehicles before casually approaching him.

“Hello again.” Harry’s eyes have lost the brightness from before, but Louis now knows it’s just there waiting. “I figured I should actually reserve the field before we leave today so we don’t have a repeat of earlier.”

Harry’s phone vibrates where it’s lying next to him. It’s face down so Louis can’t see anything, but Harry’s eyes quickly dart over to it like he wishes it hadn’t. He’s back focused on Louis after a second.

Harry nods and takes out a blue binder, flipping until he finds the right page. “Which day would you like?” he asks.

Harry’s phone regains his attention as it vibrates again.

“Uh, tomorrow? Same time?”

“It’s already reserved for tomorrow…”

“Oh.” Louis racks his brain for the other date they told the girls’ parents they would probably practice. “How about Friday?”

“Um, actually it’s-” The annoyance is clear on his face when Harry gives his demanding phone yet another hard glare. He quickly brushes it off with a steady sigh. “Friday is taken as well, I’m sorry.”

Well fuck. Saturday is the day he told his mother he’d be around for…something she needs him around for…Louis can’t remember what she said, he just knows he said he’d show up. Maybe they could practice in the morning and not mess up Jay’s plans, whatever they are.

“How about Saturday around ten?” Even Louis raises an eyebrow when yet another vibration rattles against the surface of the desk. “Sorry I’m holding you up from closing. I mean, I could always just call in and schedule a day if that would make it easier.”

“No, no.” Harry rushes to say. “He’s just-It’s fine, really.” Harry shoots daggers at the phone then shoves it in his pocket. He. Louis’ fragile heart is breaking inside his chest as it mourns. So he _does_ have a gorgeous boyfriend somewhere out there in the world. Of course he does. “Ten on Saturday is still open if you want it.”

“Yeah sure. That’s- sounds good, Harry.” Louis turns to leave with small wave while he still has his dignity intact. “Have a good night.”

He’s already a few steps away when Harry calls out to him. “Hey Louis…I know you really wanted tomorrow or Friday. You could uh, leave your number and if there’s a cancellation I can let you know?”

Louis stops and turns, suddenly intrigued by this new development. Louis assumes he is simply doing his job. Is he only helping Louis to be nice? Does he offer to call other people when reservations fall through? He can’t figure out why this boy is so difficult to read…

Louis turns back to him, wary. Louis quickly types his number into Harry’s phone when it’s handed to him. He’s almost finished when a lone text banner appears at the top of the screen.

Colin: _‘Yeah, ignore me. Real mature, prick.’_

Louis hands it back without a word even though the message sends an army of red flags waving around in his head. What kind of asshole is he dating that talks to someone that way? Louis knows it’s none of his business. It’s just not.

“I’ll call if the other party cancels, but I’ll keep you down for Saturday.” Harry tells him with nothing but kindness in his eyes and no clue as to what Louis just saw.

Louis nods, thanking him and wishing him another goodnight and sure more than ever that he needs to let the Harry thing go. He wanted to get to know Harry, yeah, but he didn’t want to know quite so much.

Louis’ thoughts are everywhere by the time he’s done dropping the girls off and on his way home.

Instead of fantasizing about first dates, he’s wondering why that text message rubbed him the wrong way and why he can’t stop fucking thinking about it. He feels a lot less hungry when just half an hour ago he could’ve eaten an entire country. He hasn’t once thought about food or much else for that matter since he realized the kind of person Harry spends his time with. Why is he so stuck on some boy he hardly even knows? Why is he so stuck on Harry?

He doesn’t even realize he’s calling Liam until he places the phone to his ear and suddenly his voice is there.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Li.”

“Lou. We literally just left each other. I’ve talked to you more than I have my own family in the last month. What’s up?”

Louis sighs. “Nothing. Just bored.”

“Bored? You sound more miserable than anything. What’s wrong? Did Harry turn down your glittering offer of marriage?” Liam laughs like his joke is the funniest thing he’s heard all day. He has no clue how close to the truth it actually is. Louis doesn’t confirm or deny. He just changes the subject.

“So…what are you having for dinner? I have no clue what I want.”

“Oh God, Lou.”  Liam sounds much more invested now. “Shit. Did he really turn you down? He could’ve at least given you a chance, I mean what-”

Louis rushes to calm him. “No, he didn’t turn me down. I never asked him out. He has a boyfriend.”

“Oh. That sucks. Did he at least hint about it nicely?”

 “Well he didn’t actually hint or tell me anything, but-”

Liam interrupts him, “Soooo you’re not really sure about the boyfriend, then?”

Louis doesn’t want to discuss the mortifying details. He really did call to talk about food. Food is distracting. Food is good.  

“Li, he’s a nice guy but it’s not happening. Let’s just drop it, yeah? Tell me what you’re having for dinner so I can decide what I’m having.”

He can tell Liam wants to keep at it, but then he gives up with a resolved sigh. “Alright, alright. Moving on…” it’s silent between them for a few seconds. “I think I definitely want something unhealthy.”

“Yeah, me too.” Louis agrees. “Something greasy and awful for me but so delicious that I don’t care.”

“Bacon.” Liam decides for them both in a moment of sheer genius. “Whatever I eat I want it piled high with bacon.” He confesses.

Now Louis’ thoughts are back on track and his stomach is back to rumbling. He knew Liam would come through for him again.

“Bacon sounds _perfect_.” He grins.


	3. Harry

For some reason, he can’t stop thinking about it.

He thought everything had been going fairly well while Louis was there talking with him. Harry wasn’t sure what to make of him the first time they met, he still isn’t really, but from what he’s seen Louis seems to be alright. It’s obvious that he likes to make people laugh and sure he’s a little forgetful, but the people around him don’t seem to ever mind. Harry was glad to chat with him a few moments alone. It was innocent and he didn’t feel there was an agenda behind it, just casually talking like they usually do each time Louis wanders up to the front desk. It was all going well, that is until Colin fucking ruined it.

He thinks about it as he’s closing up and doing inventory. It’s still bothering him after he has left the recreation center and is on his way home. Then he falls onto his couch after munching on some food Niall conveniently ‘forgot’ to take with him when he left this morning, and he’s _still_ annoyed at Colin.

The time between his jobs is usually when he relaxes or takes a quick nap, but tonight he finds himself reading through his messages, fueling the fire he already feels.

The first text Colin sent was no different than any other text Harry receives from him in the evenings. Colin: _‘I haven’t been over in a while. Maybe I could stop by tonight?’_ His question was fine, but Harry was working at the time. It’s not like he was going to stop what he was doing to answer him. He never has before.

Colin: ‘ _So what time are you going to be home?_ ’

Colin: ‘ _Um_ , _HELLO??’_ he asked when he still hadn’t gotten a response.

Colin: ‘ _You know what? I’m trying to come hang out with you, but whatever DON’T answer. I can always find other things to do tonight.’_ Harry rolls his eyes at that one. He says ‘ _hang out’_ like they’re going to sit around eating junk food and watching shitty dvd’s all night. The closest they’ve ever come to a quiet night in was the time Colin came over after drinking more than he realized. He could barely stand without swaying let alone fuck him, so Harry ended up blowing him instead.

After receiving no reply, he had figured Colin got tired of having a one sided argument, but he brought it to an end a few minutes later with, ' _Yeah, ignore me. Real mature, prick.’_ This text is the one that pisses him off the more he looks at it, as if Harry was deliberately trying to make Colin’s life harder by not answering at his beck and call.

 _‘You know, you’re pretty fucking impatient at times.’_ Harry tells him, hoping his irritation is apparent in his words.

Seconds go by and they turn into minutes. Harry has purposefully missed a call from his own mother and nearly twenty minutes have passed by the time Colin says anything back to him.

Colin: ‘ _That’s funny coming from someone who ignores everyone including his own fucking family_.’

Harry’s thumbs fly across his screen to defend himself. _‘Not answering you at work suddenly means I don’t care about my family? Colin you’re not my family, we’re not together, we’re not anything. It’s not like I have to answer to you.’_

It feels good letting all of those words pour out of him and straight into Colin’s phone for him to read. Colin was the one who made it crystal clear in the beginning that what they have is purely physical. Colin was the one to look down at him with pitying eyes when Harry hinted that he possibly felt something a little more for him. Those wildly misplaced feelings were crushed as soon as Colin left his flat that night without so much as a kiss at the door, a mumbled, ‘ _maybe we should just chill for a while’_ and a strained _grin_ like some weird pseudo break-up.

Harry likes when Colin forgets that he doesn’t belong to him. He doesn’t _belong_ to anybody, and it’s fun to throw back in his face.

Colin: ‘ _Yeah apparently you don’t have to answer to anyone. Your own daughter doesn’t even hear from you. I don’t know why anyone else expects to.’_

That feeling of triumph quickly drains from his body. Harry stares at the poison splashed across his screen and his lungs suddenly feel too small inside his chest.

 _‘Don’t you fucking dare talk about my daughter like you know anything at all about her,’_ and because Harry still can’t seem to get his mind around the fact that Colin actually said that he sends a harsh _, ‘Fuck you,’_ like it’s supposed to even the score _._

He and Colin have been through a few spats in the short time they’ve known each other, but rarely does he _ever_ mention Calla. Most people don’t even realize he has a daughter at all and Colin just used her against him.

Colin found out by accident the first night they ever met. He had bought Harry a couple of drinks with his crooked, yet oddly endearing smile that Harry liked. Harry ended up dropping his phone when he checked the time and Colin immediately scrambled to pick it up for him. He handed it back with the screen illuminated, and that’s when he saw her. Her curly hair under a pink knitted hat Harry’s mom made for her, her eyes big, bright, and excited as she played in the snow for the first time with gloved hands. Harry thought Colin would just hand him the phone like nothing happened. He nearly choked on his drink when Colin flat out asked.

“That your kid?” he asked pointing at the darkening screen. Harry nodded carefully with bated breath. Things had been going fine for the hour they had been there chatting. By that time back then, Harry had learned that most people his age were just trying to get laid, not talk about babies with some person they’re chatting up in a bar.

He seemed to think it over for a few seconds, and then Colin nodded with a shrug and a long swallow of his beer. He didn’t mention anything else about her the rest of the night, and really he hasn’t much since.

Calla’s like this little secret compartment of his life that Harry likes to keep hidden away from all the poor choices and stupid decisions he makes. Colin is someone disposable. He isn’t a permanent in Harry’s life and he should have never found out about her. He doesn’t deserve to know anything.

It’s late by the time Harry accepts that he isn’t going to sleep or relax. He gets up and heads off to his second job, the sting of Colin’s words just beneath his ribcage as he pretends they aren’t true.

As if trying to prove him wrong, Harry calls his mum back while he’s on the bus. She tells him about the shopping trip she and Gemma had the day before, and how they took all the new things over to Elaine’s and spent the rest of the day dressing up his daughter and letting her pick out her favorites.

He listens like he always does, one part of him wanting her to stop talking altogether and another part wanting Anne to give him as many details as possible so it’s almost like he was there too.

“It was a really good day.” She says, and Harry knows she’s smiling on the other end of the phone.

“Sounds like it. I’m sure Elaine is grateful. She says Calla is growing out of everything again and she needed new shoes, especially. Thanks for doing that, you didn’t have to.”

“Of course, love. It’s my job to spoil her. We girls _love_ to play dress up! I’m happy to do it.”

Even the shitty mood Colin put him in takes a backseat as he smiles at his mother’s words. Everything Harry lacks in his relationship with his daughter, his mother and sister make up for. Even his step father occasionally stops by to give her toys and treats when he sees something she may like.

One of his worst fears before she was born was having his family be unsupportive of his child. Harry is so thankful they love her as much as he does, even if she was the biggest surprise of their lives.

“I’m nearly at work, so I have to go.” Harry is glad he called her back. He doesn’t talk to her as often as he should.

“Alright, love. Don’t work too hard. Have a good night.” She tells him and then her voice turns soft. “You should go see her, Harry.”

Harry pretends he didn’t catch that last bit. “Good night. Love you.”

Inside the restaurant Erin fills him in on the growing list of issues of her appliances and equipment that need special attention. Harry has no skills with repairing anything. He’s just there to keep the place spotless, but he promises her that he’ll take a look.

It only takes about five minutes of telling her to go home and sleep before she actually listens. It usually takes a lot longer to convince her.

He dives into his work, enjoying the quiet and only focusing on the way the scrub brush digs into the palm of his hand as he cleans off some asshole’s handwriting from one of the bathroom stalls. He stays until every task on Erin’s list has been completed or least attempted and then he’s out the door, his steps slow, eyes tired, and mind still stuck on an asshole who should be irrelevant to Harry’s life.

It’s been days since he has heard from Michael, and to his surprise he texts just as Harry is stepping onto the bus.

Michael: _‘Hello stranger.’_

Harry answers him right away like giving speedy replies to texts makes him a better person than he was hours ago when Colin told him that he wasn’t. _‘Hi.’_

Michael: ‘ _What are you doing?’_

_‘Just left work.’_

Michael: _‘Cool. How have you been? Are you sleepy?’_

Harry huffs a laugh. When is he not sleepy? _‘I’m alright. Kind of tired, I guess.’_

Michael’s reply doesn’t come as quickly this time. Michael: ‘ _Oh ok_. _You should get some rest then. I’ll talk to you later._ ’ Harry thinks he gave up pretty quickly.

Rest sounds good. Harry could crawl under his covers and not emerge until morning. He’d probably feel better after sleeping. He probably would, but…

_‘You could come over if you like.’_

Michael: _‘I thought you said you were sleepy?_

_‘Well technically I said kind of tired. It’s up to you, though.’_

He pictures Michael with his brow furrowed trying to decide what to do. He likes the fact that Michael cares whether or not Harry is too tired to see him. He’s pretty sure a certain someone wouldn’t give a fuck.

Michael: _‘Ok, If you’re sure. But I won’t stay long…’_

Harry wouldn’t allow him to stay long even if he asked, but he doesn’t tell him that. _‘Okay.’_

Michael shows up to his door just a few minutes after Harry gets there. He feels something is off when Michael doesn’t start up a conversation about his mates or some funny thing that happened in his class or Harry’s newest record as soon as he walks through the door. There’s no friendly chatting at all really, he kind of just gets right to it and slides his warm mouth over Harry’s lips.

Harry doesn’t know who Michael sees or what he does between their visits. He could be seeing multiple people as well or he could only be sleeping with Harry. Harry never asks, but he’s curious now as he notices Michael no longer blindly giving Harry pieces of himself that Harry never asked for. Michael isn’t being cold towards him, but he’s most definitely holding back.

He’s as gentle as ever though, and when they’re finished Michael still kisses him at the door. He grins and tells Harry to text him like always, but his eyes are a lot less hopeful that Harry actually will. Maybe he _is_ seeing other people.

Harry is more than ready to let his head hit his pillow when he finally crawls into bed. Seeing Michael was supposed to get rid of any lingering pent up energy he felt from earlier, but he still finds it difficult to fall asleep.

*

The only reason Harry knows he eventually drifted off the night before is due to the harsh light pouring in through his small window when he wakes up.

With his eyes squeezed shut he listens for a few moments, his face deep in his pillow as he hears nothing. He lifts up his head and breathes in the stale air of his bedroom and smells nothing either. No Niall.

His shower is quick and his hair is still damp when he gets a text from the very man he was just missing.

Niall: _Come have coffee with us._

‘ _Us??_ ’

Niall: ‘ _Yes, us_. _I was bored and I knew you were asleep so I asked Gemma to come hang out before work.’_ Harry’s grin spreads across his face. He receives another message right after the first. ‘ _It’s just coffee_ , _don’t make a big deal._ ’

Harry wants to make a _huge_ deal, but he refrains, well, he tries to anyway. ‘ _Are you sure you want me tagging along for your date? :)’_

Niall: ‘ _Don’t come. I take it back_.’

Harry laughs as he’s grabbing up his wallet and keys and heads out the door. ‘ _Already_ _on the way_ :)’

He sends an obnoxious ‘ _How cute!_ ’ with about five hearts when he gets there. Gemma and Niall are sitting at one of the small tables in the corner, tucked away from the rest of the early morning customers as they chat. Harry wonders which of them made the decision to sit in the most intimate area of the café.

Gemma hugs him as soon as he is within her reach. She nearly spills her drink trying to get to him. It’s been far too long since he has last seen her.

“I told him not to come.” Niall mutters with a smirk into his mug.

Gemma looks thrilled to see him. “Well I’m glad he didn’t listen for once.” She says with a firm grip around Harry’s wrist. She leaves her hand there as she starts talking. Niall nods along like he’s heard it all before, but the way he watches her speak makes Harry grin. He wonders if Gemma even notices it.

He gets caught up watching their interactions along with his master matchmaking plan when Gemma pulls out her phone. Harry almost missed the transition where she switched topics from her car to his daughter.

“…So Mum and I took over all the things we found and let her try them on, and you should’ve seen how excited she was! We found this green dress she absolutely loved that matches her eyes. She was _beautiful_ , Haz. She looked just like a little princess.”

She practically shoves the phone under Harry’s nose and forces him to look at his daughter appearing even more gorgeous than Gemma described. She looks so grown up as she strikes a pose.

“Let me see.” Niall makes grabby hands until Gemma slides her phone over to him. “Awwww,” he coos. He swipes through a few more of her in other outfits. “I think her hair gets bigger and bigger every day.” He smirks. “Wonder who the hell she got that from?” Harry rolls his eyes at Niall’s dig at his DNA, but he can’t help but kind of agree.

Niall keeps swiping until he goes too far and ends up stopping on a selfie of Gemma and their mother one lazy weekend she visited home. They’re eating chocolate ice cream on the couch, their hair a complete mess and piled on top of their heads as they smile for the camera in their pj’s. Harry thinks they both look like complete slobs, but Niall can’t seem to stop blushing.

“Sorry, Gems, I uh- didn’t mean to go that far.” He slides the phone back to her looking sincerely sorry, but completely captivated.

She notices the picture he stopped on and shrugs. “Oh, it’s just me and Mum.” She smirks as she takes another sip from her mug. “Don’t worry, all of my nudes are safely locked away.”

He is sure Niall inhales the rest of his drink with the huge gasp he takes. Even Harry chokes on air as he works to clear his throat. Nude women in general don’t do much for him, but Gemma placing that very gross image into his head makes him want to die. Maybe he could shove his spoon into his ears and carve out the part of his brain that even went there…

Niall has mostly recovered by the time Gemma is finished laughing. She takes a quick look at the time and suddenly she’s standing to leave. “I’ve got to get going,” she announces. She looks up from gathering her things and rolls her eyes at the pair of rosy cheeks and blue eyes ducking to avoid her gaze. “It was a joke, _Jesus_. Didn’t mean to ruin breakfast.” She’s still laughing as she hugs them both goodbye.

Gemma definitely made Harry regret his decision to get out of bed this morning, however the look on Niall’s face is anything but sorry. Harry raises an eyebrow at Niall when he watches his sister walk out the door.

“If you two ever get together, I don’t want a single fucking detail.” Harry warns. Niall still looks a bit shell-shocked, but Harry makes him promise anyway just for his own peace of mind.

He gets to work about five minutes later than usual, but again, no one is there to notice him quietly slip between the double doors.

His day is long and boring, alternating between checking people in for their reserved time slots and making sure everyone is being safe as they play. He asked Gemma to send him all the pictures of Calla in her new clothes, so he spends most of his time flipping through them with heavy eyes and a soft smile. He may be a mess when it comes to his personal life, and it may have taken a while for him to see it, but his daughter is the best part of him.

A group of boys who look about eighteen or nineteen years old, checks in around five-thirty to use the football field; the time Louis had wanted. They don’t chat with him and they don’t randomly tell him about parts of their day as they make jokes…not that Harry wants any of them to of course, he’s just making observations.

They only stay for half of the time they reserved. They aren’t even sweaty as they trek through the lobby looking just as clean as when they arrived. Harry isn’t sure, but something tells him they aren’t big on the sport. He knows someone who is though.

Harry calls the group over to the front desk on a whim.

“You have the field for another half hour, if you need it.”

The tallest of them answers for the group. “Yeah, I think we’re done for the day. We have to go, but thanks.”

They all nod as they turn to leave again but Harry calls the tall one back. “You have the same time reserved for tomorrow…are you still planning to come in?”

He scrunches his eyebrows and does a quick check with a couple of boys at his side. “Uh, yeah, I guess so?”

One of the shorter ones speaks up. “Actually, I can’t come,” he shrugs. “I forgot.”

None of them seems too concerned by this news, so Harry takes the liberty of convincing them to reschedule. “Well, you only got to stay part of the time today, and all of you can’t make it tomorrow. How would you feel about another day or time?”

And just like that, they all noncommittally shrug and nod as they reschedule for Monday at four.

He calls Louis immediately from the desk phone.

It rings for a long time, but finally he picks up. He sounds busy and distracted when he answers. “H-Hello?”

“Uh hi, Louis. This is Harry… from the recreation center?”

“Oh. Harry,” he’s obviously surprised to be hearing from him judging by his tone. “Can you just- give me one second.”  There’s noise in the background and Harry is sure he just heard someone screaming and someone else burst into song. It’s much quieter on Louis’ end when he comes back. “Sorry about that,” he apologizes and then rolls right into an unprompted, detailed explanation of his life. “I’m at my mum’s with all the girls and they can’t decide which movie they want to watch even though they’ve seen them all a _million_ times. It gets _quite_ loud when there’s debate over cartoon musicals. I was actually supposed to be helping with dinner, but honestly I think I’d rather watch the film.” he laughs. Harry finds himself grinning. He has never met a person quite like Louis before.

“I think I’d choose the movie too. Sounds fun.” Louis doesn’t offer any more, so Harry takes over with the talking. “I told you I’d keep an eye out for any cancellations this week, and we actually just got one for tomorrow at your regular time.”

“Oh. That’s good! That’s-shit,” he huffs into the phone. “I need to call Liam and see if he’s still free. I need to check with the girls’ parents as well, but could you go ahead and schedule us in anyway? Actually, you’re probably not supposed to do that sort of thing…”

Harry scheduled him in the moment that group of boys left, but he doesn’t tell him that. “Sure, I can do that.”

He hears Louis’ sigh of relief in his ear. “Great! Okay, I’m going to call Li now, but thank you so much, Harry. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome. I mean, it’s my job. I would’ve done the same for anyone.”

That is a complete lie. He knows it, and he’s sure Louis knows it too because he takes a few seconds to say anything. “Well that may be true, but still…thanks for your help.”

 

Harry is lying on his couch, eating some sort of sweet sauce dish Niall concocted and then decided against. It isn’t half bad, but it’s definitely strange. He can see why Erin vetoed it for the restaurant as he swallows it down.

‘ _Mate_. _What the hell did you do to this pasta?’_

Niall: ‘ _I didn’t DO anything. It’s normal fucking pasta_.’

‘ _Why is it sweet_?’

Niall: _‘I sweetened the cream I used to make the sauce! I was trying something new.’_

Harry thinks he was trying to turn dinner into a dessert, but he says nothing else about it. He thinks Niall is going to carry on with how ingenious his ideas are, but it’s not Niall who texts him.

Colin: ‘ _Hey. I shouldn’t have said that stuff before.’_

Harry just stares at it wondering how bored Colin must’ve gotten to break down and contact him first.

Harry almost texts him that everything is fine, great, now that Colin has somewhat apologized, but something in him makes him decide against it. His shitty apology isn’t enough this time, so Harry flips the phone over and pretends Colin never said a word.

He’s at his second job with his head stuck in an oven when Colin texts him again. ‘ _I said I was sorry_.’ Harry almost caves again, but at the last minute he shoves the phone back into his pocket, messages unanswered, and his pride still somewhat intact. It’s not like Harry actually _needs_ him.

*

“Will you still make me eggs benedict and toast after you become a world famous chef who’s eccentric and married with ten kids all named after your favorite ingredients?”

Niall puts down his phone and levels him with a _what the fuck_ face that slowly changes to an expression of brief consideration as he hums. For Christ’s sake, Harry was just joking _._

“I could have a kid called Thyme… that’s kind of cute.” He says wistfully.

Harry stops eating so he can stop this train wreck before it even begins. “You name a cat, Thyme, not a child.”

Niall carries on like Harry said nothing. “Or maybe Ginger. OOh I love to use lemon zest in almost everything. It brings out so many flavors and it’s so light…”

Harry has to cover his mouth to keep his laughter in check. He can’t tell if Niall is serious. “Let me get this straight. You want to name your future child Lemon Zest?”

Niall’s mouth is set in an offended scowl like he can’t believe Harry would suggest such a thing. “What? No, just _Zest_. It could be cute, think about it.”

Okay, so Niall is serious. Harry knows just how to end this before it gets any worse. “Mothers pretty much always get final say when it comes to names. I’m pretty sure my sister isn’t going for _any_ of those.” He smirks.

Niall doesn’t even blink. “Well maybe I’ll just run them by her and see what she thinks, then.”

He had expected Niall to change the subject or at least blush at the thought. Niall won’t even properly ask her out, but he’ll sit here and name their fake children? “Oh? And when are you going to do that exactly?”

Niall’s phone vibrates on the table and Harry is pleasantly surprised. “Maybe right now since she just texted me.”

Harry has to bite at his lip to keep from grinning. “So you and my sister are texting now?” Harry plays it cool but he wants to dance around his kitchen. Maybe they’re finally going to get it right.

Niall shrugs like it’s nothing when it’s definitely something. “Maybe.”

Harry nods like he’s only half interested. “Oh,” he shrugs, “cool.”

 

He tries to get details from Gemma later on when he’s bored at work. He thought he was being clever when he casually started with ‘ _Hii. So what’s new?_ ’ but Gemma saw right through that and told him to stop being nosey. He has no romance in his own life to speak of, how can Niall and Gemma blame him for living vicariously through them?

It’s busy all morning which keeps Harry up on his feet trying to keep watch on everything that’s going on. His lower back is appreciative when he finally gets to take a break and sit down for a while.

It’s quieter now, and of course his mind bounces from thought to thought the longer he sits there. His lock screen gets the better of him once the afternoon rush has slowed. If he weren’t consciously counting the days  he’d definitely know it’s been too long since he has seen Calla by the way his heart tugs just thinking about her.

‘ _How is she?_ ’ he sends when he can’t just sit there and wonder anymore.

Elaine: _‘About to take a nap, actually. My dad took her to the park so she’s pretty tired.’_

The knowledge that she had a fun day playing outside in the sunshine makes him feel so much better. He likes knowing that she’s happy.

Elaine: ‘ _We’re eating around seven. You’re welcome to join us, Haz. She would love that. So would I.’_

She knows he’s not going to come. Elaine invites him to dinner all the time, but Harry just doesn’t belong there sharing their table. A dinner table with Calla, her green stuffed rabbit, mother, unofficial step-father figure, and Harry, her less than part-time dad who doesn’t really fit anywhere in her life.

 _‘I’ll think about it.’_ He lies _._ He won’t _. ‘Tell her I love her when she wakes up.’_

Chris is at work, so he isn’t surprised when Elaine sends back a snippy response without him there to referee.

Elaine: ‘ _You know where she lives. You should come tell her yourself._ ’

He should’ve expected that.

After spending a good portion of his afternoon feeling like shit, he feels a small amount of weight lift itself from his shoulders when he looks up and a chorus of familiar high pitched voices and giggling fills the air.

His eyes flash down at his phone again to check the time, and sure enough, it’s a little after five-thirty. He hadn’t even noticed it was this late.

There are four girls already crowding around the side door, ready to run out, but the other half have yet to trickle in. He expects the rest of them to burst into the lobby, but the next time the double doors swing open it’s just Louis. He’s struggling with an armful of water bottles as he steps inside. Harry keeps waiting for Liam and the rest of the girls to enter at any moment, but no one else comes.

Harry is there to help him before he takes another step. Louis’ smile is nothing but appreciative when Harry takes a few of the bottles.

“Where’s your other coach?”

Louis rolls his eyes, at the mention of him. “Getting ready for a date of some kind, he claims. I suspect he’s really just sitting at home watching Netflix.”

So Liam had already made plans for Friday evening... “And the rest of the team?” Harry asks.

“Apparently they also have lives so they were unavailable, but of course I had nothing else to do and neither did Sophie or my sisters, so I figured we could at least come play for a little while since you went through all that trouble to reserve the slot for us.”

“It wasn’t any trouble at all.” Harry assures him. Louis looks skeptical, but he grins politely.

Harry walks with them out to the field with four curious pairs of eyes watching him. They jog to keep up with his long strides.

“Who are you?” one of them asks. She has long honey colored hair all tied up with a bow . She looks exactly like the little girl standing next to her.

“I’m Harry,” he answers with a small smile. “What’s your name?”

“Daisy.” She says easily. “Are you replacing Liam?”

He hears Louis snort a laugh and then sniff to cover it. “No, not exactly. You guys looked like you could use some help getting out here.”

Another little girl pipes in, this one looking nothing like the other three. “Are you going to help us play too? Louis said our game needs all the help it can get.”

This time Harry snorts out a laugh, but he quickly recovers. “That can’t be true. I’m sure you’re all really good.”

Louis raises an eyebrow at Harry’s kind words and quickly shakes his head so the girls can’t see. “ _Awful,”_ he mouths with wide eyes like he has witnessed truly horrific things happen on this very field.

“You should play too.” The other twin tells him. Harry is flattered they like him so much. Besides Calla, children generally want nothing to do with him.

Louis grins as he kicks a stray ball into the goal across the field. “Sure Harry, you’re welcome to crash our football party,” the girls all smile like they think it’s the best idea they’ve ever heard. “We’ll just be out here learning basics,” Louis lowers his voice so no one but Harry can hear him, “ _again_.”

Hanging out to watch them would probably be very entertaining, but Harry can’t just abandon the front desk because this gorgeous, hilarious man has a nice smile and charming siblings.

“I would love to, but I have to go back inside soon.” Harry watches their little smiles diminish. Even Louis’ eyes show slight disappointment. “Maybe I can come check on you in a little bit and see if you need help again?”

The girls all seem happy with that compromise, but Harry is really only concerned with the way Louis fixes his face to not show his grin. Harry should not be concerned about this man and his grin, and yet he is.

He tells them he’ll be inside if they need him. He says that to everyone who comes to the recreation center, and thankfully no one ever really needs him, however, he wouldn’t mind too terribly if Louis happened to.

Back inside, he notices himself peeking out the windows more often than usual. He tells himself  he’s just doing his job making sure no one is injured, but he knows deep down that he’s not. So maybe he’s kind of fond of Louis. There’s nothing wrong with that.

An hour has passed and it’s nearly time for them to leave when Harry decides to make another appearance. Louis stares at him the entire way to the field and it sends something electric shooting through his veins. Maybe Louis isn’t even interested in him that way, but Harry can’t remember the last time he felt something like that.

“How did it go?” he asks the man stretched out on the grass with a light sheen of sweat on his skin.

“ _Much_ better. Four of them are way easier to handle than eight.” Harry guesses that would be true. Even now the four of them are talking excitedly but it’s a lot softer than when they are all together. “Are you here to piggyback us all inside?”

Harry laughs grabbing the same water bottles he helped carry outside. “Not quite.” 

Louis sighs dramatically as he sits up. “Guess I’ll just have to walk like everyone else.” 

Louis thanks him again once they’re back inside and make it to the desk to confirm their time for the next morning.

It’s time for the center to close, but Harry doesn’t mind that Louis is still there talking with him even though they said goodbye five minutes ago. Louis is in the middle of telling him about how excited he is for Liam to be out on a date, even though he technically abandoned him and footie practice for a girl. Apparently he’s with a girl he has liked for a really long time, so Louis is ecstatic for him. He’s still talking faster than Harry even thought possible when a small voice interrupts him.

“Um excuse me, Louis. We have a really good idea.”

Harry thinks it’s cute that the little girl at least _tried_ to use manners to shut Louis up. Louis turns around and all four of them are in his personal space.

“I’m scared to hear this idea.” He tells them warily.

“Louuuu! You’ll like it.” One of them says. “We promise.”

Louis looks back at Harry with a flat face then turns to the girls again. “Alright, go on. Sell me this brilliant idea.”

Daisy volunteers to speak for the group. “Well. We think we should stop for ice cream on the way home.”

“Not a chance. You haven’t even had dinner yet. Mum would _kill_ me.” Louis explains.

Daisy folds her arms across her chest, looking like a mirror image of her older brother. “Well no one said you had to tell her.” She snaps. Harry’s eyebrows rise. She sounds like him too.

“No.”

She looks deflated for only a second, but then she’s back to negotiating. “But we can all fit in one car today and that _never_ happens. Come on Lou.”

Harry nods at her argument. That _is_ true.

“Pleeaseee,” she begs when she can see Louis’ resolve crumbling. Her sisters and their friend join in on the pleading.

Louis quickly looks back at him, a man with defeated eyes. Harry wouldn’t have even lasted this long if it was Calla begging him.

“Okay. We can stop for ice cream,” Louis holds up a hand when they all cheer in excitement around him, “ _But_ , you cannot tell anyone, especially Mum.” They all swear they won’t in unison. “And you have to eat your dinner, because if you don’t she’ll know.” He gets swamped with victorious hugs and Harry can tell he’s trying to look unimpressed, but the way his eyes light up gives him away.

“That was nice of you.” Harry grins after the girls have run off to wait by the door. “They’re really excited.”

“They know I’m the soft one.” Louis fondly rolls his eyes, “They think everything is the best thing ever, especially if they can get me to agree to it.” Harry can see that. Out of the pair of them, Liam definitely seems like the firm one.

Louis looks toward the door, and for a moment he looks unsure of something. He must decide to go with whatever it is because suddenly he’s meeting Harry’s eyes. “You should come with us, you know, if you want to or whatever. No pressure, just sweets.”

Harry’s first instinct is to politely decline like any other pick up situation. Men try to take him home more ways that he can count, but something tells him that Louis isn’t asking just for that reason. Maybe Louis really does like him. Harry doesn’t need any more sex partners, but he guesses he could always use another friend if Louis is willing.

“I would actually really like to, but I can’t.”

“Oh yeah. Of course,” Louis is smiling, but it’s not real. “It’s cool. I’m sure you have better things to do.”

“No, actually I don’t, but I have to close up here. I can’t leave right this second so…”

“Oh.” Louis blinks like he didn’t expect that. “Oh.” He repeats before confusion clouds his face.  “How long does it take you to close up?”

“I don’t know. About twenty minutes, I guess. That’s too long to make them wait for ice cream though, so maybe next time.”

Harry has no clue when next time will be considering he’s always working and he has to close up the recreation center most evenings. Louis looks like he’s drawing the same conclusions from the look on his face.

“Do you still have my number somewhere?”

Harry blinks at him and then down to the reservation book, not expecting Louis to go in that direction at all. “Yes?”

“Okay, then.”

“Okay?” Harry laughs, feeling like he’s missing something. “Okay what?”

Louis shrugs looking just as amused, “I don’t know,” he smiles. “Text me later if you feel like ice cream once you get out of here. Maybe we’ll still be there, or maybe I'll want seconds.”

Louis turns to leave with a quick wave and the jumble of bottles back in his arms. He and the girls are out the door before Harry can even nod.

He looks down at Louis’ number still scribbled in the reservation book, finding he has no clue what to actually do with it.

Is Louis interested in him or isn’t he? Colin would never invite Harry out with his family, then again, Colin would never invite him out anywhere and is probably somewhere fuming right now because Harry won’t even text him back… Michael would probably invite him out for ice cream, but he’s been acting so strange lately that Harry is certain he’s getting serious with someone else. Michael will probably be done with him before the month is out.

Maybe he _should_ text Louis. At least he’d be a clean slate as opposed to Harry’s current mess.

He types Louis’ number into his phone and keeps it there like some sort of trinket you get after a really good day. He pulls it up every other hour or so, enjoying the small amount of power he holds as he looks at it.

He goes to his second job, eats half a pot of stuffed ravioli that Niall left him, gets back home, and still hasn’t texted him. When he wakes up Saturday morning he first smiles at Calla looking up at him from his lock screen, and then grins at Louis’ number under in his contacts.

Only after he is fed, showered, and dressed does Harry sit down on his couch to actually speak to the man. Harry wonders if he’s even awake. ‘ _How was ice cream yesterday?’_

Harry sits his phone back down not really expecting a reply this early on a Saturday. He really just wanted to get the ball rolling so he can figure Louis out.

Louis: ‘ _Good morning! Everything was fine. Very sugary and extremely sticky.’_ Harry grins at how awake he is at this hour. ‘ _They were a mess by the time I got them home_.’

‘ _Sounds like fun,_ ’ Harry replies. Harry had guessed Louis texts the way he speaks, which is a lot, but after his ice cream story he says nothing else. Harry doesn’t push, though he finds he kind of wants to. He’s on his way to work when he gets another text from him.

Louis: ‘ _Will you be at the center today?’_

_‘Yes. I’m walking in right now, actually.’_

Louis: _‘Good :) we’ll see you soon.’_

Harry’s good mood gets him through the start of his day until Louis and everyone with him finally arrives.

“Hello! We’re here!” Louis’ reserved time is the loudest each day him and his crew show up. Harry can hear them coming before they even open the door, but Louis still announces they’re arrival to the entire lobby.

“Sorry we’re late.” Liam apologizes. He gives Louis a traitorous glare. “For some reason Louis couldn’t leave without making sure his hair looked perf-” He stops when Louis glares right back. “Sorry we’re late.” Liam mumbles instead.

“Only by ten minutes…no one is scheduled after you, so it’s okay if you stay a little longer today.”

Liam seems to like that, nodding along. “Thanks Harry.” He turns to Louis with another annoyed look, but even Harry can tell he isn’t very good at staying mad. “I’m taking them out. Don’t take all morning.”

“I’ll be right there. I’m just signing us in!” Louis calls after him. He turns back to Harry and rolls his eyes. “I don’t have to sign in anymore, right?”

“Not if you don’t want to. I know who you both are by now.”

“Well don’t tell Li that, otherwise I have no excuse to ditch him,” he smiles. He looks around the desk area and his eyes land on Harry’s phone and stay there. “So what did you end up doing yesterday?” His question sounds like small talk, but Harry can tell he’s fishing for other information too.

“I was at work.”

“No, I mean after you left here.”

“I left here and went back to work at my other job. I have two.”

Louis’ eyebrows rise a few inches. “Wow. That’s impressive.” Louis tells him. “I can hardly keep up with my one.”

“Well this job is pretty simple.” There’s a few moments of silence between them so Harry fills it up. “…What did you end up doing after ice cream?”

Louis seems surprised that Harry would ask. “Me? Oh nothing. I ate more food then hung out around my flat until I fell asleep. Nothing major.” He grins. They’ve been here chatting for a lot longer than it would take to sign in. “I should go help Liam, before he actually _is_ mad at me, but I’ll see you when we’re done?”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll be here.”

Louis is almost at the door when he turns around like he forgot something.

“Hey, what time do you get off work today?”

“Five.”

Louis grins at his answer before heading back off. “Okay, great! I’ll see you in a bit.”

Harry stares after him, wondering what exactly that was.

They’re only out there for an hour, but Harry must have taken twenty peeks out the window during that short amount of time. He feels anticipation rising in his chest when he sees them finally start to walk inside. Finally Louis will tell him what the hell he meant.

The girls are loud as they rush in and out, only half of them waving at Harry as they run past. The other half don’t even look his way. Liam and Louis both follow the girls towards the double doors. Harry’s heart sinks when Louis doesn’t come over like usual.

They stop right in front of the doors to have a quiet conversation that Harry is obviously not supposed to hear. Liam shoots Harry a quick gaze before he’s out the door, leaving Louis and Harry alone. When Louis comes up to the desk this time, Harry can’t understand why it feels different; heavier.

Louis speaks first with a soft smile. “Hi, Harry.”

“Hi.” He watches Louis take a deep breath before messing with the long pieces of his hair. He seems almost nervous.

“So, I want to ask you a personal question. I’m not trying to be forward or pry, but I can’t really figure it out, so…”

“Okay...” Harry doesn’t know what he’s getting at here. What the hell does he want to know? Does he know about his daughter? Harry isn’t sure what exactly will come out of Louis’ mouth. He surely doesn’t expect what does.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Harry’s eyebrows crunch together and Louis just keeps talking. “Or a fiancé, or something else that would mean you’re not single? Sorry for just asking like this, but I thought you did at first and now I’m not sure, so Liam told me to just ask, and I know that’s rude, but I’d rather know  than not know, you know?” He laughs at his own logic with his cheeks tinged pink. Harry doesn’t know what to say. The men that hit on him when he used to go out never cared whether he was taken or not, Colin and Michael included.

“No, I’m not with anyone. No boyfriend.” He can see Louis’ entire body relax. He thinks it’s cute. “Why were you so nervous to ask me that?” Harry asks.

Louis laughs shaking his head. “I have no idea. I didn’t want you to think I was an idiot in case you did have a boyfriend and I was just too stupid to notice any hints you had dropped.”

Harry wouldn’t even know how to drop boyfriend hints. He has been single his entire life. “I don’t think you’re an idiot.” Harry laughs.

“Good. Can we pretend I never even asked then?”

Harry grins. “Never asked what?”

Louis laughs louder than he’s ever heard. “Thank you. Okay, so I have a new question which has absolutely nothing to do with the other thing I never asked.” Harry can’t wait to hear it. He nods for Louis to continue. “I still have to drop off the girls, and then I promised my mum I’d help paint one of the bedrooms, but after that I’m going to probably grab something quick to eat. Maybe we could meet up and get an early dinner if you’re not busy? Since you missed ice cream, I figured we could try again.”

Harry is pretty sure he heard a question under all that rambling. “Yeah, okay. That sounds fun.”

Louis seems to relax some more but he still seems suspicious. “This was way easier than I thought it was going to be.” He admits. “I guess I’ll text you around five-thirty? Y-You do know you don’t _have_ to come, right? You can tell me to fuck off.” He jokes.

Harry rolls his eyes. “I’ll see you at five-thirty, Louis.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you later.”

He backs away from the desk, and Harry can see his grin taking over his face before he has completely turned around. Harry feels himself grinning as well. He tries to remember the last time he grinned about a boy. It has definitely been a long time.

His day is brighter, knowing that Louis is out there somewhere smiling because he gets to hang out with him. Sure Louis only knows very basic things about him and probably would feel different if he knew half the shit Harry doesn’t say, but still, it feels nice right now.

He has to float around the center the rest of day to keep an eye on all the people who have been coming in and out. He doesn’t really get a chance to rest until around four and it’s nearly time to close.

He finally takes a seat behind the desk and jumps when his back pocket repeatedly vibrates against him. He doesn’t know who would call him while he’s at work. Everyone texts if they need something, so he’s surprised to see Elaine’s name across the screen.

Harry’s thumb hesitates to answer wondering what has happened to warrant a phone call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Haz. Sorry to call you at work, but Calla really wanted to talk to you. She uh, she fell on the steps at Mum’s,” Harry’s heart stops his chest.

“Is she alright?” he cuts in.

Elaine sounds more concerned for Harry than she does Calla. “Yeah, Harry. She scraped up her knees a bit and got a scratch on her chin, but she’s okay. She was upset earlier, and wanted to talk to you.” Harry takes _several_ deep breaths. She’s fine. “Are _you_ alright?” Elaine asks.

“I’m fine.” Harry says after a while. “You just scared me a little.”

 “She’s alright. She just wanted to talk to her dad. She’s right here. I’m going to hand you over.”

“Hi, Daddy.”

Hearing her voice calms the way his heart had been racing. He hopes she really is as okay as Elaine says. “Hey, love. What happened today?”

“I fell at Grandma’s. My knees hurt.”

“I know, your Mum told me. Were you being careful on the steps?”

“…I was running. She told me not to.”

Harry smiles at the apology in her voice for not listening. “Did it hurt when you got cleaned up?” Harry asks. He’s sure it did, but he knows Calla will probably want to tell him about it. He sits back ready to hear how brave she was as Elaine cleaned her cuts with antiseptic, but that’s not what she tells him.

“Will you come visit today?”

It was one thing when Elaine would go off on a rage about how his one year old daughter missed him. He could almost believe it when she was two because she started crying whenever he left the house. She’s nearly four now and talks as well as he does, and hearing it straight from Calla’s mouth is way worse than he could’ve ever imagined. “Of course I will, love.”

“When?”

“As soon as I leave work. I’ll be there really soon.”

Neither of them says anything for a few beats. He wonders if Calla even believes him.

“Okay. Bye.” She finally says.

“Bye, love. Give the phone back to your mum.”

He can hear Elaine telling Calla to go sit in the living room where she can see her. They must be in the kitchen. “Are you coming?”

Harry can’t believe she would even ask that. “Of course. I get off at five.”

“Okay. Are you staying for a while? You could stay for dinner.”

“If she wants me to I will. Look, I have to go, but I’ll be there soon.”

He hurries Elaine off the phone so he doesn’t end up breaking promises he never meant to make. He’s going to see his daughter as soon as he can, he can’t promise any more than that.

 

Louis only crosses his mind once he’s already on the bus and his phone vibrates in his hand.

Louis: _‘Is there anything in particular you want to eat?’_

Harry hates to do it, but he can’t play pretend with Louis today. He has a daughter and she comes first no matter how much Harry may like him.

_‘I’m so sorry. I know I agreed to hang out, but I had to leave work really quick. I can’t today.’_

Harry doesn’t know Louis well enough to know if he’ll get a response from a shitty text like that. He’s happy when he does though.

Louis: ‘ _It’s okay. Stuff comes up, I understand.’_

No, Louis doesn’t understand. He doesn’t know the half of it, but Harry isn’t keen on filling him in. Instead he lets Louis form opinions about him flaking out on plans, most of which are true. He lets Louis doubt him, because even if Harry told him the truth Louis would still judge him.

He sends one more _‘I’m sorry,’_ then puts the phone away. He doesn’t let Louis creep into his mind the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting Louis' chapter soon! Thank you so much for reading :)


	4. Louis

“I don’t know Lou, it still seems weird to me.”

Louis shakes his head, only half agreeing with Liam.

“Yeah I guess…it just doesn’t make any sense,” Louis says again for what has to be the hundredth time.

When Harry first cancelled on him he tried not to think too deep into it. Louis’ invite _had_ come out of the blue, but Harry had seemed as genuinely excited about it as he was. Now that he’s sitting in his flat, alone, eating some microwaved junk that doesn’t taste half as good as what he and Harry would’ve eaten, he finds that he can’t just let it go.

“I know you like him and all, but maybe you should just let it be. I mean, first with the weird text from that guy, then he didn’t show up for ice cream, and now he has cancelled on you again with some vague excuse…”

Louis jumps to defend Harry even though the way Liam just linked all those incidences together should really make him more likely to agree.

“That’s not fair. The text was… bizarre, but Colin could be his cousin for all we know. And no, he couldn’t make it for ice cream, but then he texted me the next morning to ask how my evening went.” Had Harry not cared he wouldn’t have texted him at all, right? Louis really doesn’t know at this point. “I just wish I knew what came up today for him to cancel so quickly.”

Liam huffs on the other end of the phone. “Well, I still think he’s shady. He’s not telling you something.”

And that’s the problem really; Harry doesn’t tell him anything. Yes, Louis thinks he’s beautiful and kind and wonderful and all that other shit people need to feel general attraction to someone, but other than top-layer basics, Louis knows virtually nothing about him.

Liam hums into the receiver after a long lull in the conversation. “Didn’t you say he has a second job he works at night?”

“Yeah,” Louis answers offhandedly. “So?”

“I don’t know, Lou. Maybe he-” Liam cuts himself off. “Never mind.”

“Maybe he _what?_ ”

“Well,” Liam begins gently, “Maybe his job is really different, like I don’t know… _exotic dancer_ different.”

There is nothing but silence as Louis’ mouth hangs open and then lets out a bark of a laugh. “Li what the hell is wrong with you? He isn’t a stripper!”

Liam scoffs and then lowers his voice like someone might hear. “He could be! Or maybe he’s sketchy because he ‘ _works_ _at night’_ , if you get what I’m saying.”

Louis does _get what he’s saying_ , and it’s laughable. Louis bursts into a fit of giggles at the very thought, though it would explain that angry looking text from that Colin guy- but no. That’s insane. “Li, where do you come up with this stuff?” Louis is still laughing, but Liam doesn’t sound quite as amused.

“Okay, so he may not work the streets, but the whole point is that you don’t know what he does because he hasn’t told you anything. Maybe he’s not a stripper or whatever, but you still don’t have any details about his personal life. He could be anybody.”

Louis hates to admit it, but Liam’s argument does point out some giant gaping holes. “I’ll just have to get to know him better, I guess.”

Liam is using that tone he adopts when Louis is doing something stupid but he’s too nice to actually say the words. “Lou, do you even have a last name to work with? I’m not trying to kill your enthusiasm here, but maybe it’s better that it’s not working out the way you want.”

The last relationship Louis had ended because he supposedly didn’t try hard enough. The least he can do is put in enough effort that he can actually get to know who Harry is. “Thank you for your concern, Li. I realize I’m an idiot and an optimist.”

“A deadly combination...” Liam mutters under his breath.

“But you know I am also a romantic at heart.”

Liam’s sarcastic laugh makes him smile. “You, Harry No-last-name, and a stripper pole. It sounds _very_ romantic.” Louis lets him revel in his joke for a few seconds before he tells Liam to kindly fuck off.

Liam starts a new topic after a long stretch of silence. “I think I may call Sophia later. She might already have plans though.” He should. There’s no reason both Louis and Liam have to be stuck inside on a Saturday night. At least one of them should get a date out of it.

“There’s only one way to find out.” Louis tells him. He would pick up Liam’s phone and dial Sophia’s number himself if he could. It’s obvious that their attraction is mutual, but for some reason Liam still has trouble believing it. “Go call her. I’ll talk to you tomorrow and you can tell me all about your night.”

Liam sounds doubtful already. “She might say no or already have plans.”

“Sure she won’t. Love you. Goodbyeee!” Louis is already pressing end as he shouts good luck at him. He knows they’ll have a great time in each other’s company.

His best mate is no longer there to talk with him, so Louis gets right back to his relaxing (boring) Saturday night in. He and Liam spent over half an hour analyzing every syllable Harry has ever spoken, only for Liam to decide Harry isn’t worth the trouble and for Louis to be certain that he is.  If he couldn’t hang out with Louis tonight, then it must’ve been for something important, so he decides against texting him at the moment. Instead he snuggles down into his sofa and lines up a few movies to watch. He feels himself drifting as soon as he presses play for the first one.

He has no clue what time it is when he cracks his eyes open to the dvd intro menu playing over and over again. He turns it off rather than pushing play like the screen suggested, gathering up the dishes from the floor and table to drop everything in the kitchen sink for tomorrow. His sleepy feet drag him to his room so he can properly go to bed, but he stops halfway there when he lazily checks the time on his phone and sees something that wakes him right up.

Harry: ‘ _Hey_. _Are you busy? Sorry if I’m waking you.’_

He sent it a little after one in the morning, almost over an hour ago.

 _Is he busy??_ He stares at it for a long time, trying to decide what the hell it means.

His first thought is something was wrong for Harry to text him this late, but he quickly dismisses that because Harry barely knows him. Surely he would text someone closer to him if he actually needed help.

He briefly entertains the idea of Harry actually wanting to see him, but he couldn’t have thought Louis would be conscious enough to sit around chatting this late at night, could he?

After much deliberation, he chalks it up to the text being meant for someone else because that’s the only reasonable explanation Louis can think of, but now he’s left wondering who the text was really for. The question plagues him the rest of the night.

*

‘ _Good morning_ ,’ Louis texts him back the next day hoping to get a little clarification.

He starts to get worried that Harry won’t respond when more than fifteen minutes has passed, but then finally he gets something.

Harry: ‘ _Good morning.’_ Louis raises an eyebrow at such a simple reply, but what did he really expect when he started off with the exact same thing? We waits, and suddenly another text soon accompanies it. Harry: ‘ _Sorry if I woke you up last night._ ’

‘ _Oh no, you didn’t wake me. I knew you meant to send it to someone else so I didn’t bother with it. I hope everything was alright though.’_

Louis watches the little dots appear in the dialogue box where it shows Harry typing and then disappear. He watches the same thing happen twice more before Harry finally decides on something and sends it. 

Harry: ‘ _I was seeing if you wanted to hang out or whatever. But it was really late. Sorry again.’_

So that text _was_ meant for him; interesting.  Louis wonders what the hell he wanted that late, but he doesn’t ask. He doesn’t think he would like the answer.

Dealing with Harry feels a lot like navigating through uncharted waters. ‘ _Well last night wasn’t a good time, but today is wonderful if you’re still up for it.’_ Louis decides to try one last time. _‘Do you work today? Maybe we could try dinner again, my treat?’_

There’s another delay in response time where Louis is sure he’s about to be turned down again.

Harry: ‘ _I’m off today.’_

The little dots appear and reappear again as Harry changes his mind a thousand times. It’s a simple yes or no question. Louis wonders what is making him be so careful about something as simple as a dinner date. He expects a novel as a response but all he gets are a few words. ‘ _Are you sure, Louis?’_

Is he _sure?_ Of course Louis is sure; he’s only been trying to see the man outside of the recreation center for what feels like a century. He’s sure he wants to take Harry out and watch as he nervously shares more and more about himself over a glass of wine. He wants to laugh and joke with him about something stupid during dessert and then leave him with a very fleeting, deliberate kiss at the end of the night. He’s sure. What he’s unsure of is what Harry would think about all that.

‘ _Completely sure :) I’d love to take you out._ ’

It takes an eternity, fifteen minutes to be exact, but finally Louis gets a short _‘Okay.’_

Louis jumps on Harry’s answer and asks for his address and what time he prefers. Surprisingly Harry answers him right back. It’s a small win but it feels huge.

He sits down wondering why getting Harry to agree to go anywhere at all is like pulling teeth when he sure seemed up for seeing him last night when the rest of the world was sleeping. It doesn’t add up, so he calls the one person who could make sense of it for him.

“Hey Li.”

“Hey! I was just about to call you to tell you all about last night.” He sounds excited and hopeful and so very Liam after a good date. Louis is glad he and Sophia had a great time, but Liam is going to have to wait a second to tell him about it.

“I’m glad it went well, but before you give details I have a situation I need you to interpret.” Louis explains.

Liam sighs. “Is this another Harry situation?”

“Maybe. Are you going to be nice and listen?”

“Do I have a choice?” Liam’s sigh is even longer, but Louis knows it’s all an act. Liam would do anything for him including listening to Louis whine about boys.

“So… he sent me this random text at one in the morning saying he wanted to hang out. What do you think?” Louis holds his breath hoping it doesn’t sound as weird as he thinks it does.

“The same thing I thought last night. People only text other people that late for one reason.”

Louis squeezes his eyes shut. He was afraid Liam would say that. “I knooow.” He groans. He had hoped Harry was interested in him for other reasons as well, but that one text has made Louis question him.

Liam’s voice brings him back to their conversation. “What did you say back?”

“I didn’t say anything last night, but I talked to him this morning. We’re going out for dinner around six.”

“An outing in the daylight?” Liam asks. “Let’s hope he can handle it.” Louis can hear the smirk on his lips and rolls his eyes even though Liam can’t see him.

“Oh shut up and tell me about Sophia. I know you’re dying to.” He pushes after Liam is done giggling at his own joke.

Liam sighs again, but this time it’s full of admiration. “I don’t know Lou, she’s so great each time we go out and she’s so funny! We ended up laughing pretty much the whole night…”

Louis listens wearing a grin of his own as Liam recounts his evening. He knows it’s a lot of pressure, but he hopes he’ll get to spin a similar tale for his friend after seeing Harry tonight. True, he doesn’t know if Harry will even let their date happen and actually follow through, but he is hopeful.

*

Louis has checked the time on his phone so many times that his battery life has drained about twenty percent by the time he’s finished getting dressed. Every time the screen lights up he expects to see some earth shattering message from Harry that will end up ruining his night, but so far there’s nothing.

He has tried to treat this like any other date he has been on, but even the way Louis paid extra attention to his hair speaks volumes to how much he likes Harry. He has taken men out before and not even bothered.

The first date nerves are there, thrumming beneath his skin unlike anything he has felt in a long time. He sends a quick text to let Harry know he’s on his way after he has checked his reflection more times than he’d like to admit. His stomach does a little flutter when Harry texts him right back.

Harry: ‘ _Okay. Should I have dressed up?’_ He sends an apology text right after it. ‘ _Sorry.’_ He says that a lot, Louis notices.

 _‘No, it’s fine. Only if you want to. I’m wearing jeans._ ’ Louis sends as he’s walking out the door. He tacks on a smiley face as extra reassurance just in case.

His GPS takes him away from the city’s center as he follows the directions to Harry’s flat. He doesn’t notice how different this part of town is from his own until he steps out of the car and feels the need to double check that the doors are securely locked. There are residents and other people milling around, and the building complex looks to be much older than the others he passed on the way here, but he continues on to Harry’s door like it’s the nicest place he’s ever been.

He climbs the creaky steps until he’s standing in front of what he hopes is Harry’s flat. He rereads his texts to make sure he has the right one and knocks.

He takes a deep breath to get rid of any residual first date jitters.  Louis only has to wait a few seconds before the door opens and Harry is standing there in front of him.

He looks much the same as he does any day at work, but Louis can tell he tried with his hair. The boots he’s wearing aren’t quite as worn as the old shoes he normally wears, but his jeans are just as fitted as always, as well as the thin black shirt draped all along his shoulders and torso.

“Wow.” He raises his eyebrows as he takes Harry in. “I thought we weren’t dressing up?” Louis teases.

Harry’s cheeks pinken as he looks down at his own clothes. “I didn’t mean to…am I too dressed up?” His worry is apparent in his face when he meets Louis’ eyes.

Louis shakes his head, with an amused grin. “No, not at all. I’m just kidding. You look amazing. Really.”

“Oh.” Harry’s lips turn up into the first grin of the night. “Thanks. You too. You look…really nice. It’s different from the recreation center.”

Louis takes a moment to appreciate Harry’s long-winded compliment with a grin of his own. His eyes start to wander around the room as he catalogues anything his flat has to offer in the Harry part of his brain.  “Are you hungry? You ready to go?” he asks when Harry is watching him innocently look around.

Harry nods, offering to lead them out into the corridor when he notices Louis’ eyes lingering on different things around them. He waits for Louis to make the first move towards the stairs and then follows a few steps behind as they descend. Louis doesn’t let awkward an silence even think about taking over.

“I’m starving, just so you know. I’m probably going to take a bite out of the menu before I even order.” He gets a small chuckle from Harry as a response; Louis thinks it’s a good sign. At least he’s less nervous when he’s laughing.

“Where are we going?” Harry asks once they’re in Louis’ car and he starts fiddling with the GPS again.

He should’ve typed in the address before he left his flat, and now he can’t remember the name of the damn place. “Uh…I haven’t been there in long time. I used to go with my family a lot, but now I can’t quite remember what it’s called.” He tries googling restaurants near them and he still can’t fucking remember. “I think it starts with a T, whatever it’s called. It’s something Italian... maybe it’s-”

Harry turns to him with a little crease between his brows. “Is it Toscana?”

“That’s it. Yes! Thank you. I wouldn’t have remembered in a million years.” Louis lets out a breath and starts typing in the name now that he knows where it is he’s supposed to be driving.

“You don’t need the GPS. I can get us there.” Harry tells him.

“Oh. Do you know it well?”

“Yeah.” Harry laughs humorlessly. “I actually work there. I clean the place up at night.”

 _Not_ a stripper. He can’t wait to tell Liam he’s a fucking idiot. “Do you want to go somewhere else then? I just picked it because it’s familiar. We can go anywhere you want.” Louis suggests a list of other places they could try, but Harry insists that his original plan is fine.

“It’s fine. I never get to be there when everyone else is anyway. I don’t mind.” Louis is sure he’d say something if he really did have an issue, so he takes Harry’s word for it as he pulls out onto the street, listening as Harry gives directions.

Louis glances over at him quietly staring out the window looking almost distracted. Louis just wants to get him talking again. “So. What did you end up doing all day?”

“Hmm?” Harry turns to him like he isn’t sure Louis meant to say anything to him. “Sunday is my day off, so I usually end up sleeping a lot.” Louis nods. Sleeping. It’s not quite the narrative on Harry’s interests and hobbies he was looking for, but at least it’s something. “Uh, what about you?”

“Me?” Louis hadn’t expected Harry to ask him anything. “I did typical Sunday things. Cleaned up a bit, saw my mum like usual, took a nap.” Louis strategically leaves out the part where he spent an hour obsessing over whether or not Harry would cancel on him again.

“That sounds like a relaxing day.”

Harry resumes his task of looking out the window. He keeps giving Louis these quick little glances over his shoulder like he wants to say something else. “So…uh, what kind of music do you like? Or- I mean, if you even listen to music...?” His face screws up at the way Louis snorts back a laugh at how odd that question sounded. Luckily Harry laughs with him with a light pink color shading his cheeks. “Sorry. I’m not good at stuff like this. I don’t go out much...”

“Really?” Louis gawks, “I would think someone like you would have men and women lined up to wine and dine him,” he teases. He throws Harry a quick glance and catches the way his smile fades when Louis intended the exact opposite. They arrive at the restaurant before Louis can think of a new, lighter topic to discuss.

Louis walks in first so he can hold the door open for Harry to step through. Harry looks down at him like something both foreign and lavish he’s never seen.  Louis wonders what kind of assholes Harry has been with before who obviously never even held open the fucking door. Louis lets his judgment of the rude faceless men in his mind fade as they approach the woman near the entrance.

She turns to them pushing unruly pieces of her hair back into the band holding it all out of her face. She routinely asks how many people are in their party and Louis doesn’t even get to answer before her eyes recognize Harry standing just behind him.

“Harry!” Her eyes zoom right in on him and a smile spreads across her face. “What are you doing here?” She seems to notice Harry’s proximity to Louis at the last second. “Oh. Who’s this?”

Harry is a deer caught in headlights when they both turn to him. “This is Louis. He uh- well _we_ are going to get something to eat...” He shrugs at the way he stumbled through that explanation. She doesn’t seem too thrown by it, but she does look very intrigued by Louis as she quickly introduces herself.

“So… you’re-” She opens her mouth like she’s about to begin playing twenty questions, but Harry shuts it down before she can properly start.

“Um, hey Erin, do you mind where we sit?”

She raises an eyebrow at him but doesn’t say anything. “Of course not, Harry. Wherever you want is fine. I’ll let Niall know you’re here,” she calls to Harry who is already a few steps away. She turns to Louis when Harry is already heading towards the dining area. “It was nice to kind of meet you,” she grins. She’s still watching him curiously as Louis turns to follow.

“Is this okay? We can move if you want.” Harry checks with him. 

Louis looks around at the table Harry chose near the back and nods. It looks fine to him. “Looks good. I’m not picky.” Louis makes himself comfortable watching as Harry slowly does the same.

A couple of members of the wait staff wave to them as they pass carrying entrees and receipts in their hands. Harry dips his head with a small wave each time someone notices them.

Erin comes by to drop off some water, and Harry visibly relaxes once she hands him a tall menu to hide his face in, though he checks over top of it to make sure Louis is still there every few seconds. Louis grins at the tall curly mess of hair failing to be invisible at their table for two.

Now that they’re here, Louis doesn’t care about the menu in his hands nor the food listed on it. What he wants are answers, and coincidentally Louis has _lots_ of questions.

“What’s your last name?” Louis blurts out. He meant to at least start off with something standard like ‘ _what are you ordering’_ or ‘ _how long have you worked here_ ,’ but that’s not what Louis’ mouth did. Harry seems just as surprised by the question.

“Styles?”

Now they’re getting somewhere. Harry Styles, recreation center employee, does restaurant cleaning detail, is absolutely gorgeous yet sort of shy, and definitely does not perform stripteases at one in the morning. Louis likes the little collection of facts he has been able to stack up so far. He’s about add to it when a loud voice comes booming in their direction from the kitchen.

“Harry, what the hell are you doing _here_ of all places? I thought you had that thing with that- oh.” he stops to wipe his hands on his apron when he notices Louis there too. Louis puts on his best smile as he approaches.

“Hello. Welcome. I’m Niall.”

Louis definitely feels like he’s being tested by the way Niall reaches his hand out towards him. Louis stands, grasping it firmly with eye contact. “I’m Louis. It’s nice to meet you.”

It feels reminiscent of a job interview when Louis sits back down and Niall is still there watching; observing. “So Haz, couldn’t get enough of this place during the week?”

Harry grins, “Nah. I just missed you.” Niall scoffs like he knows that’s a load of shit. “Actually it was Louis’ idea. He used to come here a lot with his family. He says he loves the food.”

So Harry _was_ listening as Louis rambled about God knows what for God knows how long.

Niall turns to him with slight skepticism in his voice. “What’s your favorite, then?”

Louis is put on the spot and he feels the pressure. His eyes dart to the menu, but he decides against opening it because Niall will think he’s just picking something for the hell of it. In this moment Louis can’t remember a _single fucking thing_ on the menu.

“Uh, it’s been a really long time since I’ve been here…but the spaghetti with spinach and meat sauce was always good. I don’t know the exact name of it. It was kind of spicy, but never too hot…I must’ve ordered it a thousand times.”

Niall looks mildly impressed. “Well if you like that I’ve got this other dish I’ve been working on… I’ll send it out for you if you want.”

Now Harry is the one looking impressed sitting across from him. Louis figures he should just say thank you and be happy that Harry’s friends don’t hate him. “Yeah, of course. I’d love to try some. Thank you.”

Niall nods glancing back to the kitchen doors. “Well I‘ll go get to work on it, but it was nice to meet you.” He nods in Louis’ direction then turns to grin at Harry. Niall doesn’t say anything, but the look he gives as he leaves makes Harry blush and look away.

Louis guesses he passed? It’s hard to tell.

He catches Harry looking at him over his glass of water. “What?”

“Niall offered you one of his creations.”

“Is-Is that good or bad?” Louis has no clue.

Harry thinks it over for a few seconds. “I’m not quite sure. It’s never happened before,” He grins. Louis chooses to believe his food offering was a good thing.

“Well you two look really close. He seems nice.”

At first Harry averts his gaze like maybe he isn’t going to confirm or deny anything, but then he meets Louis’ eyes again. “Yeah. He’s been my best friend for a long time. He even got me the job cleaning this place when I needed it.”  

Louis adds loyal and appreciative friend to his growing list of Harry facts.

“You mean to tell me your chef best mate has never offered your other dates food? He either likes me or plans to poison me with pasta.” Louis jokes.

Harry’s grin is barely there as he’s gathering both of their menus to place at the edge of their table.

“I uh, I meant it when I said I don’t really go on dates. Niall probably doesn’t know how to wrap his head around me out with a guy so he’s just shoveling food in front of you. He thinks food fixes everything.” Harry’s smile is real as he talks about his best mate, but Louis is curious about the other stuff he said.

“When is the last time you went out on a date? It’s been a while for me too.” Louis shrugs. It’s been at least four months since anyone has demanded his attention the way Harry has. Louis was mesmerized the day they first met. It took Harry a while to reciprocate any interest in him, but he thinks it was well worth the wait.

Harry glances around unsure before his eyes focus somewhere on the table. “You asked me to dinner and I didn’t really know what to say. No one ever has before, so I wasn’t sure what to expect...”

Louis is sure his mouth is hanging open, but that’s only because Harry just said something completely insane. Harry is amazing. Men must ask him out all the time; it makes no sense whatsoever for Louis to be the first person to ask him out.

Louis doesn’t ask even though he’s dying to, but he can’t help the way his eyes are drawn to him. He just doesn’t get it.

Harry takes it upon himself to change the subject when Louis hasn’t commented. “How’re your sisters? Are they excited for practice this week?”

Louis regains composure and stops trying to make sense of something so absurd. He takes a sip of his water before telling Harry all about them, half of his attention on their light conversation, and the other half still utterly perplexed. He doesn’t know if their date is living up to Harry’s first-time standards, but he really hopes it is.


	5. Harry

Harry has been on a date with Louis for over an hour and it’s already everything and nothing like he expected.

Eating across from a person he barely knows sounded like some horrible, awkward, comedy scene whenever Harry imagined himself in that situation. Maybe the two of them would have nothing in common, maybe the food would taste like shit, or maybe his date would be a rude asshole to everyone including him. Harry had an infinite supply of disastrous scenarios that could take place should someone ever actually _want_ to take him out. Harry had predicted every possible outcome, but the one thing he didn’t account for was Louis.

Harry takes a sip of water just as a loud moan from across the table interrupts his thoughts, causing him to snort a laugh into his glass. 

“This is _sooo_ good. I can’t stop eating it.” Louis’ words are muffled by the fresh forkful he just shoved into his mouth. He slinks back in his chair looking overwhelmed by the amount of pasta still left in front of him after he swallows down a few more bites. “I’m going to be here all night trying to eat all of this.”

“I’m going to have to carry you out of here if you do.” Harry grins. “Niall doesn’t really do portion control. He can’t help himself.”

Louis goes to take another bite but shakes his head, changing his mind just as he reaches out for his fork. “Nope. I’m cutting myself off. You’ll end up rolling my sorry ass home because I won’t be able to fit in the bloody car.”

Harry laughs _again_.

It seems to keep happening the more he sits here. Harry can’t remember the last time he found someone this funny, or this lovely for that matter. He came here tonight expecting Louis to be a bit of a let down from how much Harry had built him up in his head, but so far Louis has been nothing but kind, charming, and sweet. Harry can’t believe someone is trying this hard to win him over. Most men have only ever bought him a drink or two and whispered how much they want to take him home…he stepped into a different world when Louis invited him here.

Harry glances around and spots Niall peeking his head out from the kitchen for the third time in twenty minutes. Harry realizes why that is when Louis excuses himself to the restroom for a moment and Niall comes sprinting over with a frantic expression and two take-away boxes in his hands.

He screeches to a halt in Louis’ seat, speaking in hushed tones like he might hear from the toilet. “Well, how is it?”

His eyes are impatient as he waits for Harry’s answer. He keeps looking around him like Louis is going to magically reappear at any moment. Harry decides to mess with him just for the hell of it.

“The pasta sauce isn’t too sweet this time. It’s actually really good… good job, mate.” Harry takes another slow bite and Niall narrows his eyes at him.

“I mean the fucking _date_. I don’t care about sauce! How’s the date going?”

Harry has never seen this side of Niall before. He usually wants nothing to do with the men featured in Harry’s private life. “It’s going well, I guess. I don’t have much to compare it to…You’d know better than me. What do you think?”

“I mean, I don’t hate him yet. He seems alright,” Niall shrugs, then his tone turns bitter. “Much better than that other dickhead.” Harry would say Colin’s name, but that’ll only make Niall think of worse things to call him. He already looks stressed out enough at the moment so Harry keeps his mouth closed.

Harry had introduced them one night when he and Niall were hanging out. He invited Colin over so the two of them could at least meet face to face, and Niall instantly disliked everything about him. His hatred only intensified a couple of weeks later when he saw Colin out one night with his tongue down some girl’s throat in the middle of a dancefloor. Niall rushed over to let Harry know he was starting a relationship with a complete asshole, but to his surprise Harry just nodded at his words and continued reading the book in his hands.

_“We never said we were exclusive or anything. I don’t mind.”_

Harry shrugged it off and pretended not to care. It stung, but Colin had already set the boundaries of what they were, and concerned boyfriend was not a role he wanted Harry to have. Niall has wanted to slaughter the man ever since…

Across the table Niall’s eyes widen as he follows someone’s movements behind Harry’s head. “Shit. He’s back.” Niall stands and drops two large take away boxes in the center of the table. Louis comes back around to his seat wearing a thankful expression.

“Thank God.” He says, already starting to transfer the mounds of noodles. “It was so good I felt bad not finishing it. I couldn’t eat another bite, but I was going to die trying.”

Harry starts scooping his food into his own box as Niall watches the pair of them with a small smile. Harry wonders if this is what he looks like with Niall and Gemma. God he hopes not.

Niall eventually returns to the kitchen, but he comes back after he pokes his head out the door and catches the two of them preparing to leave the restaurant. He saunters back over wearing a thoughtful expression, giving Harry’s shoulder a quick squeeze.

“I don’t know if you two are interested, but I have this whipped mousse idea I’ve been waiting to try…” He smiles at Louis.

Harry rolls his eyes.  He just ate enough food for a family of three and now Niall wants to shove sugar down his throat. He has a sneaky feeling Niall just wants to keep them there so he can continue to play match maker.

Louis’ eyes light up. “You make desserts as well? Harry, how are you not five hundred pounds?!” 

Niall looks delighted as he goes off on a cooking tangent that no one asked for in order to further entice them. “See I start with vanilla _and_ caramel as a base with the milk. No one _ever_ thinks to use caramel…” Harry zones out immediately but Louis is in awe. It doesn’t take long before he’s practically salivating, and before he knows it, Niall has dashed back into the kitchen to get started.

“Can we please trade best mates? I will pay you to take Liam,” Louis says as he sits back in his chair and licks his lips in anticipation. Harry follows the movement with his eyes, briefly wondering what he tastes like. He nearly forgets to respond with his attention now fixed on other things.

“I’m quite fond of Niall...” Harry grins at the last minute. “I think I’d actually miss him.”

Louis sighs dramatically at Harry’s refusal of his idea. “Yeah, I guess I’d _kind of_ miss Li. Sometimes” Louis adds. Harry watches a smirk creep up on his lips. He doesn’t know the rules or proper etiquette for pulling your date over the top of the dinner table by his lips, but Harry is definitely considering it the longer their date drags on.

Louis is telling him about the time he tried to make homemade ice cream with his sisters and ended up making a mess when Niall comes back with two bowls of chocolate-caramel mousse, topped with far too many chocolate shavings. Niall sets them down with a flourish, showing off. He waits until they’re both preoccupied by the food in front of them to begin meddling.

“So, what’s the plan for the rest of your evening, lads? The night is young.” He beams when Louis takes a huge bite and praises his skills. Harry tells him it’s good as well, but Harry can also see the ulterior motive behind the treat. Niall grins like his enquiry is completely innocent. Harry knows better.

Harry resists the urge to roll his eyes. “Running a few laps around the city to work off this meal sounds like a good place to start.” He says in a flat tone. Louis laughs, but then nods like he agrees.

“Actually, a walk doesn’t sound half bad, if you’re up for it.” Louis’ eyebrows raise in wait as his lips innocently envelope another spoonful of dessert. It’s not like Harry is going to say no to him…Niall turns to him giving him a look like he better accept the damn walk, so Harry smiles and agrees. When Niall seems confident that Harry isn’t going to fuck anything up he tells Louis how great it was to meet him and bids them both goodnight.

“You two should come back later in the week.” Niall suggests as they’re walking away from Louis paying for their meal. “I have this cake slash raspberry pastry thing I want to try out, with cream cheese filling. I think I might do a chocolate drizzle on top, but I’m not sure yet. I need some good guinea pigs to test it on.”

Louis immediately takes the bait, promising they’ll both be back soon enough. Harry doesn’t know whether he wants to slap Niall or hug him.

When he hears the car door unlock, Harry sets his take-away box on the floor of Louis’ car and hops inside.

Louis is still standing over on the driver’s side looking a bit confused by Harry’s quick actions. “Oh. Are you ready to go? We don’t have to do the walk if you don’t want to. We can go if you like.”

So Louis was serious about that. Harry was sure he was just trying to appease Niall earlier. “No we can. I didn’t think you really wanted to.” Harry steps back out onto the street, leaving his food behind. “I thought you were ready to go. I’m sorry.”

Louis waves off his words. “It’s fine, no apology needed.” Louis places his box of food in the back and locks his car again. Harry follows him when he starts down the sidewalk, taking a few quick steps to catch up.

They walk side by side past the other restaurants and people on the street and Harry wonders if this is the way most dates progress. They walk in silence for a few minutes where Louis keeps taking breaths like he’s going to say something, but then changes his mind at the last minute. Harry wonders what it is he keeps trying to ask him.

Louis finally turns to him when they get to a quieter area, however his question isn’t as serious or heavy as Harry anticipated. “So, you asked me about music earlier…are you, uh, really into music? I saw a record player in your flat…I guess you must be.” He grins.

“I am.” Harry nods.

“What do you listen to? I saw a bunch of records lying out but I couldn’t tell what they were. Some of  the sleeves looked pretty worn though, so you must like older stuff.”

Clearly the man is observant. Harry wonders how much Louis really knows or suspects about him. Probably a lot more than Harry has told him. “I hunt down a lot of classic rock and alternative stuff. I like finding sleeves and collectors editions that people don’t usually have.”

“You do seem like the record type.” He teases. “That’s a pretty cool hobby, though...” Harry never really thought of it as a hobby until now, but he guesses it’s as close to one as he has since it’s the only thing he ever spends money on that doesn’t involve his daughter.

Harry flips the question around on him. “What about you? What do you listen to?” Harry watches Louis’ grin spread across his face, and he finds that he really wants to know the answer.

“I have a very _extensive_ ITunes library full of mostly pop radio hits…I know, it’s not very hipster of me.” he laughs. Harry’s eyebrows scrunch together and Louis laughs even harder. “I know what you’re thinking, and _yes_ , you are just a tad hipstery.”

“I don’t think so. I think I’m too old for that, actually.” Harry admits.

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-four.”

Louis grins at his answer. “Everyone is still a bit of a hipster at twenty-four.” Harry has no clue what that means, but it makes him smile anyway. Louis turns down another street and Harry speeds up to stay with him. “Have you always lived here?” Louis asks.

“Yeah. So did Niall. We actually met when we were seventeen and he moved here.” Harry is surprised at how much he’s willingly sharing with Louis. Michael doesn’t even know who Niall is and here’s Harry telling Louis his life story.

Harry gets caught peeking over at him when Louis suddenly turns to him again. “And uh, does your family live here too?” Louis rolls into the question carefully like he knows he may not get an answer. If it were anybody else, Harry wouldn’t give them one, but Louis has been wonderful to him since the first time he saw him. The least he can do is give him some semblance of the truth.

“Yes. My mother and step-father live pretty close to here. My sister lives a few minutes away.” Harry doesn’t mention the other half of his family which includes Elaine, Calla, and sometimes even Christopher.

“You have a sister too?” Louis gets excited at the shared commonality so Harry tells him little things about her like where she went to school and where she works. Louis seems to appreciate each detail he gives.

He’s not sure how long they’ve been walking, but after a while Harry gets fixated on the shape of his mouth again and imagining things that have nothing to do with their conversation. Louis peeks up at him every once in a while like he may be thinking the same thing, but he always ends up looking away with a little pink coloring his cheeks.

If it were any other person he’d just met at a bar or something Harry would just do it and get it out of the way like he had to with Michael the night they first met, but Louis has been confident and assertive in every other aspect of their night; Harry doesn’t think he should push it. Instead he lets their conversation float to other topics as they both glance around pretending to not want to kiss the other.

It’s after they have found their way back around to Louis’ car that Harry can feel something about to happen.

Louis walks ahead to open the door for him (a move that already takes Harry by surprise), and just as Harry is about to climb inside, Louis stops him, one hand at the small of Harry’s back and the other guiding his chin as he pulls him in. His grip is so lax that Harry could easily move if he wanted, but he stays rooted to the spot as Louis’ lips finally find him. It’s the lightest kiss any man has ever left on his lips, so Harry can’t understand why it feels so wonderful.

Louis pulls back after only a few seconds, but only enough to look at him and check that everything is alright. Harry is better than alright.

He kisses Harry once more, just as softly as the first time, then just as quickly as it all happened, Louis stands to close the passenger door with Harry inside. He walks over to the driver’s seat and he slides in, turning the ignition and resuming their previous conversation about Niall’s cooking, wearing a smile as if nothing at all interrupted it. Harry tries to control the way his mouth is fixed in a grin, but he can’t help it.

By the time they arrive in front of Harry’s building he’s on pins and needles. He expects another kiss as soon as Louis cuts the engine, but Louis moves to get out of the car as soon as Harry thinks about leaning in…

“Come on. I’ll walk you up.” He says, opening Harry’s door causing him to grin again. Harry invites men into his flat all the time, but none of them have ever put forth this much effort to get there. It’s something he could definitely get used to.

Louis walks first, waiting for Harry to catch up and walk alongside him. He’s laughing about something Harry isn’t even paying attention to as they start to climb the steps. He has been watching Louis all night just like Louis’ eyes have stayed glued to him. Now that they’re back at his flat where there’s no restaurant, Erin, or Niall, just the two of them, Harry can’t concentrate on much more than those basic facts, let alone whatever small talk Louis is filling the silence with.

Louis clears his throat in preparation of something when they make it to Harry’s door. Harry can feel the nerves rolling off of him.

“Did you have a nice time?” Louis laughs to himself and shakes his head, “Not that going out with me automatically means you had a nice time or anything, but you know… I hope that you did.”

“It was the best date I’ve ever been on.” Louis rolls his eyes, but doesn’t elaborate on the fact that it’s the _only_ date Harry’s ever been on.

“Well I’m glad I could help out.” Louis jokes. “Thanks for agreeing to go with me.”

There’s a quick moment where Louis’ gaze flashes from Harry’s eyes then down to his mouth again. It takes him a few seconds to work up the nerve, but then Louis is stepping forward. It’s just as lovely and light as the kisses before it, which is why Harry can’t understand how someone so self-assured and daring seems almost hesitant to really touch him.

When Louis pulls back he starts dismissing himself, telling Harry goodnight and that he’ll see him tomorrow, but Harry surges forward again, this time pulling Louis into _him_. Louis makes a startled sound like a giggle when Harry’s tongue finds its way into his mouth.

Louis sinks into him though, his hands and lips matching Harry’s sudden burst of energy. Louis’ tenderness was nice, and Harry wouldn’t trade those sweet kisses for anything, but this, this is what he wants. This lives up to Harry’s expectation of a night out with a beautiful man.

When he feels like Louis is on the same page as him, he starts fiddling with his door handle behind his back. It opens right away because of course Harry forgot to lock it. His hands drop even further down Louis’ waist taking in a handful of whatever he can grab as he begins blindly walking them inside. His heart is racing at the thought of Louis touching him, that’s why it comes to an almost screeching halt when Louis giggles into his mouth again and wriggles himself away.

Harry’s arms feel empty without Louis in them as Louis adjusts his shirt and hair back to the way they were before Harry’s determined hands ruined them. He’s grinning from ear to ear while he tries to regain composure and straighten himself out.

He shouldn’t be fixing his clothes, if anything Harry should be removing them.

“What’s wrong?”

“Wrong?” Louis can’t wipe the smirk off his face, so Harry doesn’t understand why he’s standing on the _other_ side of his door. “Nothing’s _wrong.”_ He laughs _._ “Everything is great, actually. That was-” He bites his lip instead of finishing his sentence.

Yes, everything was amazing until Louis ended it. “Why’d you stop?” Louis shrugs with the smallest hint of a blush on his cheeks.

“I don’t know...” He shrugs again. “I figured I’d just walk you up and say goodnight for now. You know, take it slow?” Louis gets a blank face as a response. Harry has no clue how to proceed. Louis likes him, took him out for a wonderful evening, obviously _really_ likes him based on the way his hands were just roaming his ass, and yet he doesn’t want to come in… “I-Is that okay?” he asks when Harry still has said nothing.

“Yeah,” he breathes, “That’s fine.” Harry is clearly out of his depth here.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah...” Harry is lying. He isn’t sure of anything at the moment. Louis can probably tell because he ends up grinning at the lost look on Harry’s face.

“I guess this is goodnight, then?” Louis walks up to him and leaves a lingering kiss on his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow? Five-thirty, right? Same time?”

Harry nods a few beats too late, feeling his skin warm where Louis’ lips just touched. “Y- Yeah. Five-thirty. Same as always,” he waves.

He stands in his threshold watching as Louis leaves, warring with the sudden urge to call him back. They’re clearly not going to have sex tonight, Louis made that perfectly clear, and yet he still wants Louis there. He has no clue what any of that means, but he does know that his cheek is still tingly where he was kissed…

He calls Niall as soon as the door shuts behind him.

“Hmm,” Niall greets him. “Didn’t expect to hear from you this early…or at all...” He mummers.

Harry huffs a laugh. “Yeah me neither.” Harry was sure he’d be very preoccupied with Louis’ naked body right about now, actually.

“Alright. Details. Go. Leave nothing out.” Niall demands, but quickly back tracks. “But try to leave out all the weird shit that went down in your flat. I don’t need that visual.”

“Well, I don’t know where to start…”

“With all the weird shit? Christ.”

Harry huffs an impatient sigh into Niall’s ear. “No. There wasn’t any weird shit in my flat. There was nothing at all, really. We kissed a bit, but he uh, he didn’t want to.”

“He didn’t _want_ _to_ ,” Niall repeats. He hums thoughtfully, “Well…that’s a first. Start at the beginning. What happened first?”

“Yeah. Okay…he picked me up at six. Came to the door and everything.”

“Was he on time?”

From the few weeks he’s known Louis, Harry is pretty certain he’s never been on time for anything. “Surprisingly yes. Two minutes early.”

Niall hums approvingly. “Points for punctuality. Go on.”

“I could tell he was kind of nervous at first. He was better once we got in his car. The drive was good. We talked a bit until we got to Toscana. He held the door open for me…that was,” Harry pauses to remember the gesture and the way it made him grin, “Nice.”

Niall doesn’t say anything to that. He gives another approving hum and asks Harry to continue. “Dinner was great until this super annoying chef came out and tried to force feed us. He was really strange. I think I’m going to report him to the owner.”

“Shut up and finish telling me! How was the walk?” Niall would probably tackle him if he were there, luckily though, he’s not. Niall just seems focused on the timeline of his and Louis’ evening.

“Good, I guess. He asked me a lot of questions. I tried to give him straight answers.” Niall already knows he wouldn’t mention Calla, so he doesn’t ask. “He held the car door open for me and- and that’s when he kissed me.”

“Good or bad?” Niall asks skeptically.

“Different, but I liked it.” Harry decides after a few seconds. He more than liked it, but he doesn’t tell Niall that.

Niall laughs on the other end at his cryptic answer. “Oookay…moving on. Then what happened?”

“We talked some more while he drove me back home. He offered to walk me up when we got there, which I thought was code for-”

“Weird shit going down in your flat?” Niall interrupts.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “I thought so, but he just kissed me again at the door. He didn’t try to come in or anything. I mean, _I_ definitely tried to get him inside, but-”

“He wasn’t into it?”

Harry shakes his head even though no one can see him. “Oh no, he was definitely into it... but he said he wants to take it slow. What does that even mean, you know?”

“Um, I’m pretty sure it means exactly what he said. He wants to take it slow.”

Harry is at a loss. “Then what the hell was the point of the date?”

“Uh, maybe he likes you, idiot.”

Harry scoffs. “Well obviously not a whole lot otherwise he wouldn’t have stopped us.”

“It sounds like he wants to get to know you like normal people do when they like someone. No offense, but you don’t have much experience with real dating stuff. People take it slow all the time. It’s not a ‘no’, it’s a ‘later’.” Niall explains.

“Well he’s going to be waiting a long time then. _”_ Louis only knows what Harry wants him to know just like any other man that has stumbled into his life. Louis is wonderful, but he probably wouldn’t be so kind and understanding if he found out the truth about him. That kind of dating stuff works in other people’s favor, but not Harry’s.

Niall huffs into the phone. “You should hang out with him. See what happens.”

Harry laughs humorlessly. “Nothing’s going to happen, Niall. I like him, but we both know I can’t.”

“You could if you wanted….I mean, Elaine is in the same boat as you and she found Chris. There’s no rule saying you can’t have someone too.”

Harry and Elaine are _not_ in the same boat. Harry was stupid and messing around with a girl because he thought that was what he was _supposed_ to be doing. Boys trying to figure themselves out generally don’t have sex with women and fuck it up so badly that they produce a child. Teenage girls unintentionally get pregnant and have babies all the time, but that only works out when the boy she slept with is a viable option. Harry couldn’t be more wrong for her.

“I’m tired.” Harry lies after a long silence. “I’m think I’m just going to go to bed.”

 “Alright, Haz. If you say so.” Niall sighs on the other end. “I’m glad you had a good date. You deserve more nights like this, even if you don’t think you do.”

By now Harry has learned not to comment when Niall starts talking about all the things he supposedly deserves.  He rushes Niall off the phone so he doesn’t have to hear it for the millionth time. “Yeah. I’m going to go. Bye. See you.”

When Niall is gone, Harry has nothing to distract him from the parts of their conversation he wishes he could unhear.

Niall has been his best friend for as long as Harry can remember, always telling him he’s better than what he allows himself. He has been listening to things like that for years now, so Harry can’t understand why Niall’s words make so much more sense when he’s talking about Louis. Getting to know one another…Harry isn’t even sure how to go about that. He also isn’t sure of why he’s even considering it right now. It’s not like Louis genuinely likes him, he just likes what he sees. He likes what Harry chooses to show him.

He lounges around on his couch for the better part of an hour. Elaine texts him like always, and Harry’s eyes do a good job of overlooking her message, just like always. His fingers itch to text Michael or even Colin in order to have a good distraction, but after a night like tonight with someone as wonderful as Louis, it just doesn’t feel right to invite them over.

Harry doesn’t make it another fifteen minutes before he’s texting him, a long yawn already escaping him even though it’s barely eight-thirty.

 _‘Are you asleep yet?_ ’

Louis: ‘ _Snoring. I’m texting you with my eyes closed.’_

Harry grins at his phone and Louis’ quick reply. ‘ _That’s quite impressive_.’ He waits a while not really knowing why exactly he felt the need to text him. He should _technically_ be over at Elaine’s, but…

Louis: _‘I’m completely lying by the way. I never snore ;)’_

‘ _Everyone who snores like a bear says that.’_

Louis: ‘ _You have no proof to back that up. I’m offended. I sleep like an angel.’_ Harry laughs at the thought. Louis never shuts up when he’s conscious, he can’t imagine Louis ever being quiet, even if he’s asleep.

 _‘Yeah, an angel congested and filled with snot,’_ Harry tells him _. ‘Your poor family probably still has nightmares of hearing you through the walls.’_

_Louis: ‘I bet Gemma rejoiced when she went off to school. She probably still has snore flashbacks.’_

There’s a moment where Harry freezes as he reads Louis’ latest reply. He nearly forgot all about their conversation about Gemma tonight. He can’t believe Louis even remembered her name to be honest. No one else has ever cared enough to ask about his family or anything about him really, but the longer he thinks about it, the more he finds he doesn’t really mind Louis knowing some things.

After a few minutes pass he isn’t sure what else to say to keep their banter rolling. He’s enjoying Louis as a distraction, but he can’t shake the fact that he should be somewhere else right now grinning at what _she_ says.

Harry isn’t good at flirting or teasing or whatever it is he and Louis are doing at the moment, but luckily Louis takes control of the situation so he doesn’t have to. He texts right when Harry is about to get off the couch to see Calla.

Louis: _‘I’m really glad you texted. I figured I had been pushy enough today, so I was hoping you would.’_

Louis thinks he was pushy? Harry tried to shove his entire tongue down Louis’ throat; if anyone was pushy here it was him. ‘ _I’m glad you dragged me out tonight. Niall says I needed it.’_

 _Louis: ‘Well, Niall’s a brilliant man.’_ He sends back. Harry thinks that’s it, that their conversation is over, but then Louis texts him again asking if he’s still miserable from so much food at dinner.

Louis: ‘ _So do you still feel like you ate a hippo or that just me?_ ’ Harry quickly replies to him, settling back down into the couch instead of walking out the door.

It’s late by the time Louis admits defeat and admits he needs to go to bed. Harry’s eyes are also a little heavy when they say goodnight for good. He has no idea what they even talked about this whole time. They wasted nearly two hours talking with each other and Harry doesn’t know how the conversation went from the leftover food he forgot in Louis’ car, to the travesty of Louis only knowing one song by the Stones.

Louis: ‘ _Okay, now I really am texting you with my eyes closed haha. I have to get up early for work, but I’ll see you after at the rec center?’_

Harry just talked about absolutely nothing with the man for God knows how long and somehow he is still looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. ‘ _Yeah, of course. Get some sleep.’_ Harry wants to let that be it, but he can’t resist. He sends another text a few minutes later. ‘ _Don’t shake the walls with your bear snores.’_

He doesn’t get anything back right away, so he figures Louis finally fell asleep. Harry rubs at his eyes, longing to crawl into his bed for the night. He’s already yawning when he finally peels himself off his couch.

He crawls into bed with a sigh as his head finally hits the pillow. He’s already drifting when his brain recalls Elaine’s text from earlier. He opens his messages to try and make amends.

Elaine: ‘ _Harry it’s getting late. Are you coming or not?’_ She sent another one just after nine. ‘ _I guess not.’_

_‘I’ll try to make it tomorrow. Tell her I’ll be there after work. Sorry about tonight.’_

She texts him back before he can shove the phone under his pillow.

Elaine: _‘I’m not telling her anything. Why, so she can get her hopes up and you decide to not show up? I’d rather you just not come at all. It’s easier that way.’_

Every word he reads turns his stomach. He doesn’t say anything back, because in all honesty she’s right. Harry used to consider what it would be like to completely distance himself away from his daughter just so she would be protected from his bullshit, but even though he’s a mess and Elaine would rather him leave, he just can’t do that. He could never say goodbye to Calla, not like that. He hasn’t thought of that in years, but Elaine just made it feel like he was holding his newborn daughter all over again.

He was so calm before he got into bed and now his throat is tight and constricted, right on the edge of tears. He settles down into the sheets, promising himself to get his shit together tomorrow. He gets a new text, but he shoves it under the pillow this time. If Elaine has more shit to spew at him he’ll have to read it in the morning.  His stomach turns again the next morning when he realizes it wasn’t even Elaine.

Louis: _‘I maintain that I do not snore. Goodnight, Harry :)’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to FallingLikeThis(Zayniam) for being so awesome, and thanks to everyone for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> New chapter soon :)


	6. Louis

“You never take this long. You’re moving this slow on purpose!” Louis whines from Liam’s door. He leans back watching as Liam takes his precious time cleaning up his desk and packing up. The goal was to get to the recreation center early, so Louis went ahead and changed clothes, but now Liam is being slow and ridiculous just for the hell of it. Well, he’s being an ass because Louis wouldn’t stop gushing all about his and Harry’s date and kept him up half the night, but what did Liam really expect from him when he was that excited?

“Of course I’m not,” Liam smirks. “It’s just practice with the girls, Lou, what’s the rush?” Liam’s innocent tone does nothing to ease Louis’ impatience. He was ready to leave five minutes ago.

Louis narrows his eyes at him as he uncaps and then recaps every single one of the ink pens in his bag. Liam then pulls a wipe out of nowhere and begins cleaning between every crevice of his computer. Louis didn’t even know they had fucking screen wipes.  

“You know what the bloody rush is, Li! Hurry up or I’m leaving without you.” Louis tries to look serious as he threatens him, but Liam must know he’s full of shit because he doesn’t move an inch.

Liam smirks up at him again, clearly enjoying this. “I clean up my desk like this every day. I’m not doing anything different… _You’re_ the one who’s acting strange, Lou.” Louis sighs with his head thrown back like one of his sisters when she can’t get her way. Liam laughs but takes pity on him, finally slinging his bag onto his shoulder “Alright, alright. I’m done torturing you. We can go now so you can see your husband.”

“Shut up.” Louis glares at him as he quickly leads the way out of the building, though he doesn’t dispute the reason why he’s just a tiny bit eager to get to the rec center early.

When he rushes into his mother’s house he doesn’t waste time small talking with her. He hurries his half of the girls outside and into the car, picking the four who are already cleated up and waiting by the door. He leaves the stragglers including one of his own sisters for Liam to deal with.

Their standing reservation is for five-thirty, and even with Liam being a terrible friend Louis makes it to the center with seven minutes to spare.  When the girls hop out and take off for the door, Louis is right there with them just a few steps behind.

Louis makes himself walk at an acceptable pace for an adult when the girls burst into the lobby. Harry’s confused frown makes him smile as he checks the time behind the desk. “You’re early,” Harry says like he’s just witness something miraculous.

“Nah, not really…” Louis shrugs like it’s no big deal for him to be there this soon. He and Liam are usually at least ten minutes late, of course it’s a big deal. “We left work sooner than usual.” Louis can’t help the grin he wears as he approaches him and Harry’s eyes can’t decide where to settle. They briefly flash to his lips then up to his eyes before locking there.    

After a moment Harry looks to the double doors still looking a bit thrown. “…I don’t see Liam.” That’s because Liam is probably still at his mum’s fighting to get the slow half of the girls dressed and sorted. Louis grins to himself for his brilliance.

“Oh, he was right behind me. Don’t worry about him. He’ll be here soon.”

Harry grins like he knows Louis is up to something, and Louis wastes no time taking advantage of the extra minutes that they have. “So what time did you finally get to sleep? I was pretty much a zombie by the time I sent you that last message. I’m surprised it even made sense.” He laughs at his own joke, but Harry doesn’t.

Harry averts his eyes over to his phone lying face up on the counter and flips it over. He looks almost upset just from Louis mentioning it. “Uh, I don’t remember…it was pretty late.” Louis’ gaze lingers on the phone. Harry seemed great when they talked last night. He wonders what happened between then and now to make him look this way. He wants Harry to forget about whatever or more likely whomever it was. He drops the subject immediately.

“I listened to the songs you ordered me to hear while I was at work. Some of them weren’t half bad.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “Which ones did you listen to?” Louis can hear the skepticism in his voice.

“All of them.”

Harry shakes his head, his disbelief clear as day on his face. “You did not. I must’ve told you to listen to forty different things.”

Louis is glad to see a small grin on his face. “I _did_. I even bought a few of them that I really liked. See...” Louis takes out his own phone and scrolls until he finds the very expensive list of recently purchased items. “I know it’s not as cool as vinyl and all but…” Louis enjoys every second of the smile Harry tries to hide. He watches as Harry nods approvingly, clearly impressed.

For the next few minutes Harry takes it upon himself to educate Louis on all the great classics he has been missing out on and congratulates him on expanding his horizons. He compiles an even longer list of music Louis just has to hear, excitement clear on his face as he talks. Their conversation gets severed when Liam and the rest of the crew passes through the lobby. Everyone follows him out to the field, leaving the lobby area silent.

“Well I better get going.” Louis stuffs his phone back into his shorts. “I’ll work on listening to your new list at work and report back later.” In all honesty, Louis will probably listen to most of them tonight.

He’s already half way to the field door when Harry’s voice makes him pause. “Hey- but what am I going to report back to you?”

He looks back seeing Harry’s nervous, hopeful expression. “You want _me_ to recommend music to _you_?”  Louis laughs at the audacity of it.

Harry shrugs, biting down on his bottom lip. “Well, yeah…it’s only fair, right?” Louis would walk over and kiss that lip he’s been tugging on if they were somewhere else.

He is asking Louis to share his interests with him. Even if it is just his shit taste in music, it’s something. “I’ll get you a list. It’ll be a very long one, so full of pop and happiness you won’t know what to do with yourself. I’ll make you pick the ones you hate the least over dinner.”

Hearing Harry’s giggled “Okay,” makes his stomach flutter as he walks out the door.

He floats out to where Liam and the girls are running around getting warmed up. Liam greets him with an almost sour face, but it falls short when he sees Louis is still smiling like an idiot.

“Took you long enough.” He comments, but he doesn’t sound as annoyed as he probably intended.

Louis sighs. “Oh yeah. Sorry. I was checking us in,” he replies vaguely, still wearing a left over grin.

“Mhmm. Sure you were. And what exactly does ‘ _checking us in’_ entail again?” Liam leans in with an expectant look, waiting for the bullshit Louis is going to come up with, and okay, so Louis may have set him up to be late on purpose, so what? Liam should just be happy for him and stop pouting.

“I don’t tease you when you pluck your eyebrows just to see Sofia, so I shouldn’t be teased about liking Ha- _someone_.” Louis looks at all the girls surrounding them and quickly amends his sentence. There’s probably nothing worse than eight little girls with the knowledge that he’s falling for the man at the front desk.

Liam’s face is mortified as he rushes to deny. “I do not! They’re thick! I-I only get rid of the stray hairs! That’s not _plucking_ them!”

Louis slaps a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. Even the girls all stop to giggle at him clearly having a crisis.

“You started it.” Louis shrugs. He lines up a few balls, calling some of the girls over to his side of the field to practice like he never said a word at all.

Liam walks to the opposite side of the field line with the girls that are left, subconsciously feeling at his eyebrows every so often like they’ve suddenly sprouted twice their normal length.

Louis gets to keep his dopey Harry grin plastered all over his face the rest of the time they’re there, and no one says a thing about it.


	7. Harry

_One month later_

The minute Harry walked through the door Calla grabbed his hand and started pulling him towards the back yard to see the ‘garden’ she and Elaine have been working on. Now his boots are soaked and his hands are covered in mud as he watches her pour more water over the sprouts of green shooting up from the earth.

Harry laughs watching as she fills up her watering can yet again. “You’re going to drown them. They only need a little bit.” Harry takes the can from her and straightens out the stems that have drooped from so much water at once.

“I want them to grow,” she says, stooping down to the plants’ level. She sighs like she’s disappointed in them and it makes Harry smile.

“They will.” He assures her. “They just take a long time to get started.” Her face is still unimpressed as she stares at the little patch of green. She kneels down right in the dirt to take a better look at them.

She starts telling him about the trip she and her mother took to the garden shop where the flowers are already in bloom. She’s in the middle of using her whole body to show Harry the size of one of the flowers she saw when Elaine’s voice interrupts her story from the door.

She sighs when her mother says it’s time to come in for the evening, but she doesn’t whine about it like Harry expects. She puts her watering can away once Harry reminds her and then reaches for his hand. “I can water them tomorrow.”

Those sprouts could probably go a week or two without ever being watered again from how much she poured over them, but he encourages her anyway. “Yeah, love. You should water them every day to help them grow.”

Elaine doesn’t meet his eyes when they enter the house and only Calla sits down to remove her wet shoes and socks. Elaine turns back to where she was washing dishes. He can see the heavy sigh she takes before she speaks. “You’re leaving already.”

Harry looks around for Chris to save him, but he must be in another room because he’s nowhere to be seen. “Yeah I think so. I just wanted to stop by for a bit and see the garden.” Calla proudly smiles up at him at the mention of her flowers, but it quickly fades.

“That wasn’t even thirty minutes plus you were late getting here, Harry.” She drops a fork and it clatters into the sink. She whips around to stare at him with accusing eyes. “It’s Sunday. It’s not like you have to work tonight, so what’s your excuse this time?”

She says it in as even of a voice as she can manage, but the way she’s choking the dish towel with her fist lets him know he’s walking a thin line at the moment. Calla looks between them probably trying to figure out how they went from garden talk to this; Harry is just as confused as his daughter. He was just here a couple of nights ago…Elaine shouldn’t be this angry.

He’s grateful when Chris comes around the corner and offers to take Calla to get cleaned up after he catches sight of Elaine’s face. He gives her a long look that probably holds some kind of significance, but she ignores him completely this time, turning her back to block everyone out.

She waits until Chris and Calla leave the room before starting up again. “Is this how it’s going to be forever? You just show up whenever you please, talk to her for ten minutes and then wait until your conscience eats away at you and then you come back?”

“ _No_ ,” Harry shakes his head furiously. “It’s not like that. It’s not like I _enjoy_ leaving her or you screaming at me. I-I miss her all the time…I-” he doesn’t understand how Elaine can’t see that. Every time he has tried to explain in the past the words never come out right and she just gets angrier.

“You’re never around! She wants to spend _time_ with you, Harry. You’re her dad and you pencil her in whenever you fucking feel like it! She’s going to be starting school soon. What’s going to happen when she’s just as busy as you are and has a life of her own? Will she see you at all?”

Harry knows she’s going to be starting school soon. He is well aware of the fact that she’s growing up. He also knows that she has a normal family with just Chris and Elaine. She doesn’t need Harry trying to fit himself into her life like some twisted up puzzle piece. “She has you and Chris. I’m not-”

Elaine has her mouth open to dispute him before he even finishes, but they both stop when his phone vibrates in his hand and his eyes lock on it. He knows he shouldn’t read the message during their conversation, it’s rude and whoever it is can probably wait but he can’t help it.

Louis: ‘ _Already here and got our table! Niall’s keeping me company with snacks until you arrive ;)’_

“Who is that?” Elaine snaps at him when he gives all of his attention to his phone. He quickly pockets it without replying to him.

“It’s no one.” He lies. It’s obvious she doesn’t quite believe that, but she doesn’t push it.

There’s not as much heat in her gaze after their argument’s little intermission, but she’s still tense, her jaw set hard like she could start in on him again. He hasn’t seen her get that angry with him in a while. She gives him a final look of frustration and turns back to the dishes.

This time when she speaks it’s with a lot less venom than before. “I just ask that if you say you’re going to come over that you actually show up, and when you show up make sure it’s for more than a few minutes at a time. I don’t think that’s unreasonable, Haz.”

No, it isn’t unreasonable. Harry should be able to do those things with no problem, but somehow it’s never quite that simple. He can never seem to find the balance between his life with Calla and his life without her.

“I will. I’ll stay longer next time,” He promises. “I would’ve stayed longer tonight, but I kind of have to do something. I wanted to come and see her for a least a little while.” She doesn’t ask where it is that he has to be so he’s saved from lying to her about Louis. He doesn’t think she’d say anything about it, but it just feels wrong to let those two very different parts of his life overlap.

He takes the moment of silence between them to sneak away. He had figured Elaine was done talking to him since she turned back around, but the softness in her voice catches his ear before he’s completely out of the room.

“Haz…I saw the account. Thank you.” She only meets his eyes for the amount of time it takes to thank him and then turns back to the sink.

Harry slacks off on a lot of shit, but depositing money into Calla’s account is something he does every week without fail. “Yeah, of course.”

Down the hall he finds Calla in her room playing with her toys while Chris makes several unsuccessful attempts at putting them away. She drops everything when Harry steps in and runs to drag him even further inside, talking excitedly about something. Chris nods at him in passing, wishing him a goodnight before leaving them alone.

He waits until she’s finished showing off her mess of stuffed animals and the bracelet Gemma gave her before letting her know that he’s leaving. Harry picks her up and holds her close to his chest. She returns his bear hug tangling her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I love you so much.” He buries his face in her neck and it makes her squeal and squirm to get away. Even when he feels like crying, she makes him laugh. She giggles when he tickles her sides and sets her back down. “I’ll see you next time okay, love?”

“When?”

He stoops down to smack a kiss to her cheek. “Soon.”

She screws up her face when she looks at him. “Tomorrow? You can come then!” She grins like Harry showing up at Elaine’s door every day is no big deal. Harry sighs, not really sure what to tell her. He makes a point to not make promises though, so he doesn’t say whether he’ll be back tomorrow or not.

When he leaves neither Chris nor Elaine says anything to him. He throws them both a quick wave and is out the door before he can be stopped.

Being a good father has always been a struggle for him, but somehow it’s getting harder the older Calla gets. He thought having an infant was going to be the most difficult part of being parent, but he’s finding it was much easier to cope with when she was clueless. Now every time he sees her he just feels guilty.

When he walks into Toscana his heart still feels heavy, but Louis doesn’t give him much time to mope.

“You have to try this!” Louis pulls Harry by the hand until he’s seated across from him and shoves something chocolatey and warm into his mouth. It tastes amazing.

“What is it?” Harry manages to get the words out between chews. A few customers glance over at them as Harry talks with a full mouth.

Niall beams as he walks up to them, dropping a whole bowl of them in the center of the table. He greets Harry with an offering of napkins. “They’re dark chocolate pastry knots. Erin says I can add them to the menu. You two get the first batch.”

“Thank God.” Louis grins and pops two more into his mouth. For the past month Harry has watched Louis fall in love with everything Niall places in front of him, but Harry loves seeing him eat desserts the best. His eyes always close like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted.

“They’re pretty good,” Harry admits. “They’re a bit too sweet for me though…”

Louis and Niall both roll their eyes at each other. “That’s because you like the boring desserts,” Louis tells him. “Niall, bring Harry the plain junk no one likes. You can bring me all the chocolate you want.”

“You didn’t even eat the chocolate he brought you.” Harry leans forward lightly wiping at the smudge on Louis’ cheek. “Half of it is still on your face,” Harry laughs. He tries to get rid of it all but Louis won’t stay still. Sometimes he’s worse than a three year old and yet Harry can’t seem to get enough.

Niall rolls his eyes at them and makes a gagging noise, though he looks far too fond to actually be annoyed.

“I guess that’s my hint that I’m intruding,” he mutters. “Tell me what I’m feeding you so I can go hide in my kitchen.”

Louis hums, not even bothering to look at the menu at this point. They’ve been coming here for weeks and Harry has yet to see him order from it. “Surprise me.”

Niall nods, wriggling his eyebrows. “Challenge accepted. What about you, Haz?”

Harry shrugs. He had a few snacks with Calla while he was visiting, plus he really doesn’t have much of an appetite after his argument with Elaine. “I’m not really that hungry. Surprise me too, I guess.” Niall’s eyes light up at being given free reign over both of their meals. Harry immediately amends his statement. “Surprise me with something normal and _small_.”

Louis raises an eyebrow at him when Niall hurries off to the kitchen. “You know he doesn’t do portions. He’s probably going to bring out a whole horse for you to eat.” Harry wants to laugh, but it’s like his sense of humor was left somewhere else; he does manage a small grin though.

Louis is watching him from across the table like he wants to ask, but of course, he doesn’t. He takes Harry’s hand in his and asks him about his day instead. Harry knows he must be curious, but Louis never pushes him to talk about why he seems down a lot. Harry just showed up half an hour late for dinner and Louis didn’t say a word. He likes that he doesn’t have to lie to his face about where he has been, yet for some reason he feels compelled to tell Louis the truth. Harry has questioned whether or not he’s losing his mind on several occasions for even contemplating it.

They chat all through dinner about random things he can’t even remember. Louis gets him laughing when he pretends to hate the food Niall brings out for him. Harry laughs so hard at the horror on Niall’s face that by the time they leave he has almost forgotten he was sad at all.

*

The first time it happened, Louis walking him to his door was so foreign and new that Harry had no idea what to expect. He had assumed Louis was just like any other guy searching for a direct route to his bed, but Louis wasn’t like that at all.

Even now as Louis presses his back against the door he sighs into the lightness of his touch. It took some getting used to, but these breathless kisses are something he looks forward to feeling every time they’re together.

He fumbles with the door handle and Louis goes willingly when Harry starts walking them inside. Blindly, they find their way to the couch with Louis straddled over his lap. Harry lets his fingers trail over his body, but he knows better than to push it, keeping his touches light as they roam and feel.

Louis traces his mouth over his skin in response, inching his way down his neck, but not too far. Harry tilts his head to give him better access to the skin behind his ear. He feels Louis sigh next to him and it makes his stomach flutter beneath him.

Being with Louis this way wasn’t something that came natural; he had to be shown, but he’s glad Louis took the time to do so. If Harry had gotten his way the first time they went out he probably would never have gotten to feel this with him. By saying no to him that night, Louis opened the door for things Harry didn’t even know he was missing out on.

When Louis pulls back he’s just as breathless as Harry, a lazy smile on his lips. “I better get going...” He says the words, but he doesn’t look like he actually means them. Harry recaptures his mouth and grips his hands around his waist hoping to distract him from leaving. It only works for a little while before Louis bursts into giggles and is standing up. “I should go.”

Harry sighs, still slinked back onto the couch, his arms and lap empty. “You don’t have to.” Harry grins when he watches Louis’ gaze travel down his body for longer than is considered polite. If it weren’t for the various moments in which Louis gets caught up watching him, Harry would think he wasn’t interested in sex at all. Apparently taking it slow is just as maddening for him as it is for Harry since he has been getting caught staring a lot more lately.

This time it’s Louis who sighs long and deep. He forces his eyes back up to Harry’s face even though it’s obvious he would rather be looking or touching elsewhere. “Trust me. I should definitely go.”

“If you’re sure,” Harry shrugs nonchalantly. He’s teasing him, but only because it makes Louis grin.

Louis laughs as he rolls his eyes. “I’m sure.” He gets another kiss when Louis leans down to grab his keys from the couch. “You’re a horrible influence. Goodnight.”

Harry walks him to the door, lacing their fingers together just before Louis steps out. “Goodnight. See you tomorrow.” Harry surprises himself when he brings Louis’ hand up to his lips. He freezes, having no idea what prompted him to do that. He is pretty sure he has never kissed someone’s hand in his entire life and he just did it to Louis without a second thought.

The gesture must surprise Louis as well because he bites down on his bottom lip like he’s trying to contain a grin. Harry is still stuck on the fact that Louis has rubbed off on him so much that he does strange things like that out of nowhere. A month ago he wouldn’t have even held Louis’ hand and now he’s _kissing_ it for God’s sake.

Louis wishes him another goodnight as he heads down the stairs, and already Harry wants him to come back. He closes the door trying to remember the last man he kissed goodbye in this very spot. It was either Michael or Colin, but no matter which one of them it was neither of them compares to Louis that’s for sure.

A relationship with Louis isn’t something he is foolish enough to hope for regardless of how much Harry likes him because every time they’re together Harry feels like they’re on stolen time. He often wonders if Louis would accept him, faults and all, but he keeps those parts of himself hidden so he can keep on living in the fantasy.

Louis knowing some things is alright, but he can never know everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Louis' chapter coming soon :)


	8. Louis

He’s grinning as soon as he walks through his mother’s door mostly due to the fact that every ounce of his attention is being spent on his phone. Louis glides through the entryway with his thumbs flying across the screen, successfully ignoring every family member he encounters as he flops his body down on the sofa. A couple of his sisters follow him into the living room, but they quickly get bored of watching him watch his phone. He hits send without a single glance upward.

His smile is growing watching the dialogue bubbles as Harry types on the other end, the suspense killing him as he anticipates Harry’s reaction to his surprise.

Louis can’t even take full credit for the idea since it was Liam who told him about the vintage vinyl sale in the first place, but as soon as he’d found out about it Louis knew Harry would love it. He had planned to tell Harry about it in person, but Louis has never been good at keeping secrets so naturally he dropped so many hints about this weekend that Harry eventually broke down and demanded to know what was going on. Louis could not wait to tell him.

His phone vibrates less than a minute later and the wait is over when Harry sends back a string of excited emoji’s and exclamation points just like Louis knew he would.

Harry: ‘ _Lou, are you serious?_ _How did I not know about this!!!?’_

 _‘I am completely serious,’_ he replies. _‘You’ve been pretty busy lately... Not a lot of time for records I guess, but that’s all about to change ;)’_

Louis isn’t sure how he has time for anything with the amount of hours he puts in during the week at both of his jobs. He knows exactly how Harry didn’t know about the sale; he works all the time and during the short breaks in which he’s not working he’s either with Louis or mysteriously disappearing without explanation…

Louis never asks. It’s obvious Harry doesn’t want him to know otherwise he would tell him, but still, Louis can’t help but wonder where he goes or who he’s with.

Harry: _‘How long is it lasting? It’s on Saturday, right?’_

_‘Yep, it goes into the evening so I figured we could go right after you leave the rec center. The sale is supposed to be huge so there should be plenty left to look through.’_

Louis hits send feeling very proud of himself for his seamless reveal. He expects another wave of excitement as Harry’s response, but then a few minutes pass where Harry says nothing at all. Louis’ confidence wavers wondering if there’s a problem with their plans. Another few seconds tick by, then  finally Harry comes back with a reaction much less ecstatic than it was before.

Harry: _‘I kind of have somewhere to be right after work, but it shouldn’t take long. Maybe we can meet at the sale around six?’_

It’s not like Harry vetoed his idea or anything. They’ll still get to go, and yet somehow Louis feels a slight sting of disappointment settle into his skin. He has known Harry nearly two months now. Every time he thinks they’ve reached some pivotal point in their almost relationship Harry slides them back down a peg or two by blocking him out. By now Louis should be able to innocently ask what Harry has to do immediately after work on a Saturday and not feel like he’s prying, or better yet, Harry should just willingly tell him because it’s no big deal, but that’s never how these situations go. Louis is always in the dark.

Louis tells him that meeting at six is fine when he really wants to ask if he can go with Harry to whatever it is he has to do instead. His grin is back when Harry texts him back right away.

Harry: _‘Great! I’m so excited! I cannot wait! Do you know how hard it is to find quality vintage sleeves?? It’s hard, Lou, trust me…’_

And just like that, Louis is smiling to himself because he can’t figure out if Harry is adorably oblivious to the fact that he took that text as a penis joke, or if Harry is just that clever.

He can feel a pair of eyes on him from the doorway as he replies. He frowns looking up to find his mother watching him. He can feel her smug matriarchal comment coming before she even says it.

“You only smile like that when you’ve gotten your way about something or a boy is involved. Shall I guess which one it is today?”

Louis rolls his eyes. “What’s the point in guessing when you already know?”

Jay steps all the way into the room to sit beside him. “Well, I hate to make assumptions about someone I’ve never actually met…” This is the third time she has unsubtly mentioned the fact that she has never laid eyes on Harry. The couple of times Louis brought it up, Harry looked at him like a deer caught in headlights.

No one has ever wanted him to meet their family, so Louis tries not to be too offended when Harry isn’t receptive of the idea. Once, Louis suggested possibly meeting Harry’s family instead, thinking it might go better if Louis was the vulnerable one, but that suggestion just made Harry look even more anxious so he dropped the subject completely.

“I’m working on it,” he tells her.

Jay raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him. “It shouldn’t be work to introduce me to the man you’re seeing, but if he makes you smile like you were a few minutes ago then I guess he must be alright.”

Louis blushes, feeling his lips tugging into another grin. “He’s better than alright. You’d like him a lot, mum. The girls all love him and Liam has even come around.” She sighs as she stands to leave him.

“I guess I’ll just have to take your word for it…” She turns back to him with another raise of her eyebrow. “For now anyway.” She smiles at him right before she leaves, but that look she gave him still makes him feel like he’s twelve years old all over again.

If he doesn’t get Harry over to his mother’s house soon she may just go hunt him down herself.

*

He brings it up again later that night while he and Harry are sprawled out on his living room floor in front of the record player.

Listening to music all stretched out beside one another is usually where they end up most nights before Harry goes off to his second job. Louis won’t lie and say that he wasn’t a bit nervous hanging around Harry’s flat at first (one look at the ancient ruin of a lock on the building entrance made him think twice before leaving his car out front for too long…), but his own flat is obviously where Harry is most himself, regardless of the less than stellar security around them.

Louis can see it in the way Harry laughs out loud with his whole body as they joke back and forth, something he would never do out at dinner, the rec, or even the few times they’ve hung out at Louis’.  He can feel it in the soft kisses Harry has now started stealing from his lips whenever he pleases, which just so happens to be when Louis least expects them.

Louis glances over at him now, lying on his back with his bare feet propped against the seat of his couch. He’s gently drumming the beat of the song into his chest with the tips of his fingers, and there’s a hint of a grin on his lips as the melody fills the room and drifts over them. Louis takes advantage of all the serenity in the air and just goes for it. After all, the worst he can say is no.

“So, what are you going to do all day at work since we’re not coming in?” The question is harmless, Louis thinks. They talk about the girls and football a lot. Harry won’t suspect a thing.

Harry grins with his eyes closed, his fingers still tapping out the beat of the song playing. “Mmm, not sure. Thursday’s are always boring…”

Louis smirks. “That’s because I’m not there.”

“Exactly.” Harry tilts his head to peek over at him. “I’ll just have to deal with working with incredibly dull people until Friday when you and the girls show up.” Harry smiles to himself then goes back to blindly drumming against his rib cage.

There’s a brief silence, but Louis quickly fills it. “We haven’t been to Toscana’s in a while. My stomach misses Niall.”

“Yeah we should go. He was here this morning looking all disappointed at my fridge. He’s just itching to fill it up with food again.”

Louis tries for what he hopes is a smooth transition. “Yeah…I can swing by and pick you up tomorrow after work.” Harry nods like it’s a good plan. “I said I’d stop by the house really quick, but it should only take us like five minutes.” Harry is nodding at him again, that is until his ears catch up to his brain. His fingers freeze mid-drum and settle against his chest.

“Wait…the _house_?”

Louis waves it off like it’s some inconvenient chore, when in reality he wants nothing more than to introduce Harry to the rest of his family. “Oh yeah, Mum. She has to show me something or…I can’t remember what she said exactly, but it shouldn’t take too long.”  Louis watches his calm expression melt into poorly concealed panic before his eyes.

“It’s uh, it’s alright Lou. I can meet you there. I might be late closing up anyway.”

Any other time Louis would just drop it, but this is something they’ve been dancing around for nearly two months. Outside of their closest friends and Louis’ sisters, neither of them has met any other people of significance. Louis tries to be sensitive to the fact that Harry has never truly dated someone before, but avoiding such a major step in their kind-of-relationship can only go on for so long.

Louis meets his eyes as he sits up with a heavy sigh. “Harry…I want you to come with me.”

He’s making excuses as soon as the words are out of Louis’ mouth. “I- I can’t, I mean, I don’t mind catching the bus or whatever. Your family is important to you. You should see them.” Harry stares back at him, his eyes willing Louis to drop the subject, but he won’t do it, not this time.

“Yeah they are important to me, that’s why I want you to come _with_ me,” Louis tells him. He takes a breath before continuing, because if he doesn’t say it right he knows he could send Harry running in the opposite direction. “You’re important to me too, Harry. I talk about you all the time like some fictional character. I want everyone to get to know you and see how great you are.”

There’s no real indication of whether or not Harry heard him as his words mix with the music neither of them are listening to anymore. They’re both so eerily quiet that Louis looks away and starts picking at one of the album sleeves near his foot.

Harry clears his throat, pushing his hair back out of his face. “I don’t think it’s a good idea right now.”

Louis doesn’t want this to turn into a full on argument, so he makes sure his words are as neutral as possible. “And when would be a good time for you?” he asks. He knows Harry doesn’t have an answer. Harry never intended for them to move past their first date, actually he never even expected them to go on a date at all. Harry is perfectly content with things just the way they are, keeping Louis at arm’s length, but Louis isn’t, not anymore.

Harry is sitting up now but he’s no longer meeting his eyes “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Lou.”

“Why not?” Louis can hear the bite in his own tone. He should take a moment to collect himself, but now that he has started he can’t stop. “Do you not feel the same way? You can tell me if you don’t…” It would kill Louis if he did. “Is there someone else you aren’t telling me about or-”

As if on cue Harry’s phone vibrates on the arm of his couch, cutting off Louis’ words. All the other questions Louis has start cropping up to the forefront of his mind. He wants to ask why he’s so secretive all the time about where he is, or why he saves all his money instead of finding a nicer place to live, or whose texts he’s always ignoring, or who the little girl is on the front of his phone he keeps face down where he thinks no one can see. He wants to ask him all these things, however he says nothing. His focus tonight is incorporating Harry into his personal life not acknowledging the various red flags Louis has become so good at ignoring.

Harry’s gaze darts in the direction of his phone, but he doesn’t dare move. They’re quiet for so long that Louis thinks he won’t say anything at all. Louis continues picking at the worn edge of Harry’s record sleeve as he waits. The sleeve is ruined by the time Harry says anything, but Harry’s palm is warm where he places it on Louis’ leg. He looks terrified, but at least he’s looking at Louis.

“Louis, I’m not seeing anyone else…” Louis lets out a breath he didn’t know he has holding. “There were some other men I would see from time to time when we first met…” Harry bites down on a grin, and Louis wonders if his face looks as jealous as he feels. “But not since we went out…I-I couldn’t. I liked you too much to see anyone else. You mean a lot to me too.” The last part is softer than anything else he said.

The words create a light, airy relief inside his chest, but they do nothing for his questioning mind.

“I mean a lot to you, but?”

Harry’s eyes are troubled as he glances back at his phone. “But, I’m not the person who you should be introducing to people you love. I only know your sisters because they come to the rec center. Your mum should be proud of whoever you bring home…that person, it isn’t…it’s not…”

“It’s you.” Louis finishes for him. Now Louis is the one to lay a convincing hand on Harry’s skin. “Trust me. My mother has heard so much about you, she’s in love with you already.” Harry still looks unconvinced. “Even if you were awful she’d still like you because _I_ like you...You’ve even got my sisters in your corner. They love you more than they love me and Liam _combined_.”

That brings a little smile to Harry’s face. It quickly fades though, and then he’s right back to doubting. “But what if-” Louis laughs, shaking his head at how worried he is all the time about things that will never happen.

“What if nothing, Harry. It’s literally a five minute stop to say hello. _No one_ can fuck that up, mate, not even you.” It’s good to see Harry laughing again. “Five minutes with all of my siblings climbing all over us is about all I can take on a Thursday night anyway. We’ll visit and be gone in no time at all…just think about it, yeah?”

He doesn’t give him a straight answer, but Louis can see him thinking about it as they settle back down on the floor. Louis isn’t sure if they’re back to cuddling territory after their little spat, but he plants a kiss on his lips just to check. He feels Harry sigh into him, taking it as reassurance that there are no hard feelings.

It’s much later when Louis gets so caught up listening to the new album Harry switched to that he almost doesn’t hear Harry softly calling his name to get his attention. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Time for work...” He sits up reaching for his keys and already halfway to the door. He almost makes it out of Harry’s orbit, but suddenly Harry is right behind him, reaching out to stop him with a gentle hand on his waist.

Louis can see him deliberating. He waits patiently while Harry works up the courage to say whatever it is he’s thinking.  He drops Louis’ hand and starts fidgeting his own fingers in lieu of looking at him.

“Um, no one has ever wanted me to meet people before. I know that’s weird, but...” his sentence tapers off along with his newfound confidence. Instinctively, Louis moves to bring their lips together. He wants Harry to meet everyone he’s ever known. Harry keeps talking once Louis lets him go. “It’s important to you, so I want to do it…you don’t ask much from me, Lou. I want to do this for you.”

Louis leans in to kiss him again even though he looks terrified of what he has just promised.

Louis thanks him with a tight hug as soon as he pulls back from his lips. “Thank you, Haz. I _swear_ everything will be fine. We will be there no more than ten minutes. You can even time us if you want. It’s just a quick hello and then off to dinner, I promise.”

When he lets go, he stands back to beam up at Harry’s torn expression. This moment is the highlight of Louis’ day, maybe even his week or month, and here Harry is looking pale as a ghost.

“It’s just ten minutes,” Harry says mostly to himself like he’s trying to get used to the idea.

Louis kisses him on the cheek before reaching for the door knob. “Yep. We’ll pop in really quick, say hi to everyone, and that’s it,” Louis confirms. Harry still looks on edge, but not as panicky as he did a few minutes ago. “She may even be too busy with the girls or the twins to even focus on us. It’ll be _fine_.” Harry nods, buying into the confidence Louis is overcompensating for.

“Yeah… it’s no big deal.” Harry shrugs, so Louis shrugs with him. Louis has only ever brought home a couple of men to meet his mother, but none of them even came close to how he feels about Harry. It’s actually a huge deal, but he won’t let Harry know that.

*

Each time Louis’ anxious fingers moved to check the time on his phone he would hold his breath from fear of finding a goodbye slash break-up text from Harry that would completely shatter his world. Louis was being extremely dramatic of course, but he still felt like something was up between them.

They texted each other good morning when they woke up, but since then, Harry hasn’t said much to him. Usually Louis’ phone never stops vibrating because Thursdays are Harry’s boring days, so Louis can only guess that their silence is the result of Harry freaking the fuck out about tonight.

Louis tries to keep up the no big deal mentality he had the night before, but he knows in his heart that tonight is important. He’s pretty sure nothing can go wrong in the short amount of time they’ll be there, but his mother only wants what’s best for him, and what happens if she decides Harry isn’t it? What then?

He pushes down all that negativity as he finishes getting dressed in front of the mirror. He sends a quick text to Harry when it’s nearly seven to let him know he’s on the way to pick him up. Harry’s short, single worded response only confirms Louis’ suspicions that he’s tense.

Harry: _‘Okay.’_

His mother gets a similar text from him, informing her that both of them will be stopping by soon. Her response is a lot livelier and makes Louis’ eyes roll as he’s getting into his car.

Mum: ‘ _Finallyyy!!! :D’_ She sends another just seconds after the first _, ‘I mean it’s only been twenty years…’_

She’s annoyingly sarcastic at all times, however it also makes him smile to see her excitement…and people wonder where Louis gets it from.

*

The recreation center looks deserted when he pulls up, but he knows Harry is somewhere inside closing up. Louis finds him locking the side door of the building just as Louis steps into the lobby.

“Hi there,” Louis greets him brightly. Louis hops up to sit on top of the welcome desk with his feet dangling as Harry walks over. “Almost ready?”

“Yeah. Just got finished actually…” Harry tries to grin when he’s standing in front of him, but Louis can see just how nervous he is by the way he’s forcing it.

He likes that Harry is a bit of a nervous wreck. A little bit of nerves before meeting his mother shows that he cares, but Louis can’t take him being _this_ anxious, so his hands find Harry’s waist, pulling him in for a kiss that makes Harry grin for real. It takes a few seconds for Harry to kiss him back, but when he does Louis lightly tugs on his bottom lip and pulls off with an obnoxious smack that makes them both laugh. Harry seems more at ease when Louis runs his fingers through the ends of his hair.

“It’s just a few minutes remember?”

Harry nods, leaning in to steal one more kiss before Louis hops down. “Yeah I know. I’m just nervous, I guess.”

Harry follows him out the double doors after he has locked them, and Louis feels a familiar hand slide into his, seeking comfort as they walk. His fingers feel empty when they have to let go at the car, but Harry links them together again as soon as they’re both seated inside.

The drive is just as quiet as Louis figured it would be so he asks Harry about his day to get him talking. The conversation works at distracting him, and before he knows it they’re pulling up outside of Louis’ childhood home.

Louis brings Harry’s hand up to his lips for a quick kiss, and pastes an exaggerated smile on his face when he follows Harry’s gaze up to the house. “Still alright?”

Harry doesn’t say anything, just nods as Louis starts getting out of the car. Harry blinks himself out of his trance as he mirrors Louis and follows him to the door. Louis chances a quick look back at him to make sure he hasn’t bolted, offering him an encouraging smile.

Louis opens the door, and only hesitates a few seconds before following him inside. He shouts, announcing their arrival as soon as the door shuts behind them.

“WE’RE HERE!!!”

Concentrated footsteps start echoing from somewhere in the house at the sound of his voice. They get louder, quicker, and distinctly more adolescent sounding as his sisters turn the corner and pounce on them, and just like when Liam visits, Louis is completely ignored. Traitors.

The entranceway is filled with shouts all vying for Harry’s attention. Luckily Harry looks flattered rather than petrified. He’s laughing while Daisy tries to use her entire body to pull him further into the house.

Louis thinks he’ll finally get some recognition when the eldest of his sisters wanders in, but she doesn’t even spare him a glance as she rushes over to meet Harry, chat with Harry, watching on as the younger girls continue to argue and climb all over Harry…not that he’s jealous or anything, he’s just making observations.

Louis clears his throat, gaining no one’s attention. “And where’s _my_ warm welcome?”

“We see you nearly every day, dear.” Everyone’s head turns toward his mother’s voice as she approaches. “It’s way more exciting getting to finally meet Harry.” Louis rolls his eyes when she drops a kiss to his forehead then quickly moves over to Harry who looks a lot less sure of himself now that Jay is standing right in front of him.

“Harry, this my mum, Jay,” he gestures toward her and she steps forward to shake his hand.

“I’ve waited a long time to finally put a face to all the wonderful things I hear about you. I’m glad you’re here. He never shuts up about you. It’s like I’m meeting a celebrity.” Harry laughs at that, making everyone else including his mother giggle with him. “Even my girls come home raving about you. I was starting to feel left out so I demanded that he bring you over as soon as possible.”

Harry blushes, biting down on a grin when he glances over at Louis, his cheeks just as pink.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Tomli-” she fixes Harry with a look that makes him backtrack. “I mean _Jay_.”

As far as first meetings go, Louis thinks this one has been rather successful. They continue their light small talk in the doorway for a couple of minutes. He’s just about to announce their departure when his mother makes an announcement of her own.  

“Well come on in, so we can chat a while! I’ve just put the twins down so I’m free to tell you all kinds of embarrassing things about Louis.” She turns in the direction of the living room with everyone moving to follow her.

Louis glances down at his phone checking the time. They’ve already been here longer than ten minutes, which is more than what Harry agreed to. He looks alright from what Louis can see, but a deal is a deal. “Uh, actually Mum we’re about to go. We said we’d be at dinner in a few minutes. We were only popping in to say hi.”

All eyes are on Louis for the first time since they walked in the door, but the only person’s eyes he meets are Harry’s, and oddly enough Louis is having a hard time reading them at the moment.

“No Lou, it’s fine,” Harry grins at everyone watching them. “We can stay a while longer if it’s alright with you…”

Louis eyes him skeptically, trying to find any hidden messages or indicators that he’s simply being polite in front of his family. There’s nothing in his face that shows any discomfort, so Louis turns to him, lowering his voice even though everyone can still probably hear him.

“Harry, are you sure? We don’t have to…”

He nods, with a small grin. “I’m positive. I want to hear all those embarrassing stories,” he laughs.

Jay reaches out to give Harry’s arm a quick squeeze, all of her excitement showing in her smile. “That’s the spirit! Come on. I’ve got loads of them and so do the girls.” She turns to lead the way into the living room again with his sisters and Harry following her without hesitation.

Louis’ chest feels light and airy as he stands in the entranceway, a soft grin on his lips watching Harry seamlessly fit in with his family. Louis is too dazed to move from where he is.

He can still hear his mother cooing and giggling as they turn the corner and stop in front of a photo of Louis when he was seven years old. Harry immediately looks back to laugh with him, but finds that Louis isn’t by his side. “You coming?” he asks with a playful lift of his eyebrow.

It takes another moment to set his feet into motion, but then Louis is walking over to join him, and just when he thinks this evening couldn’t get any more unexpected he feels Harry’s warm hand slide down into his as soon as he’s close enough to touch. It’s obvious that he’s still nervous from the tight grip Harry has around him. He even glances at Louis to make sure it’s alright when a couple of his sisters notice them holding hands. Louis lightly squeezes back, making Harry’s eyes light up when he meets them.

The girls don’t comment, and neither does his mother, but Louis is sure his face is about to split open from smiling so much.

*

They leave almost an hour later, waving goodbye as everyone heads back inside. What was supposed to be a ten minute visit quickly escalated into Harry all but crying at all the embarrassingly cute things Louis did as a child while his mother watched on and slowly fell in love with him as each minute passed. She demanded Louis bring him over more often after only fifteen minutes of knowing him. He feels like he had to fight tooth and nail just to get Harry there, and to his surprise it was Harry who had to be dragged out in the end.

They forgo their dinner date since Jay essentially offered them the entire contents of her kitchen to eat as they chatted. Harry is still grinning on the drive back to his flat, his dimples visible even in the dark as Louis divides his attention between the road and sneaking quick glances at him. Harry breathes a laugh when he catches him looking once they’re parked outside of his flat.

“What?” he asks with an innocent tilt of his head.

Louis doesn’t even know where to start. He has practically been in awe of the man since they walked through his mother’s door.  “I just…you really surprised me tonight. I know this was different from how things usually go for you, so…just thanks for even trying... tonight was amazing. Thank you.”

When Harry’s lips find him, Louis all but sinks into him.

All night long Louis had been fixated on the warmth from Harry’s hand and the way they fit perfectly when connected.  Watching Harry throw his head back in laughter made butterflies erupt inside his stomach each time he witnessed it, and even in the presence of his family he wanted nothing more than to kiss him breathless just like this.

There’s no telling how long they’re there with Louis’ fingers slipping through the curls of Harry’s hair before he dislodges himself from the driver’s seat, opting instead to position himself on Harry’s lap. Their new positioning makes it difficult to keep up the soft, fleeting touches they had been leaving on each other’s skin. Harry’s hands leave the safety of Louis’ waist, drifting down to wrap around the plumpness of his ass, and Louis gasps into his open mouth when Harry bucks his hips up into him, his blunt nails digging into his flesh through his jeans.

Harry pulls back at the sound to catch his breath. “Sorry,” he says licking at the tender part of his lip where Louis just bit down into it with more heat than he realized.

It’s dark, but Louis can still make out the way Harry’s gaze travels from his mouth down to the skin he’s merely imagining he can see through Louis’ clothes. He grinds down onto his lap just to feel how hard Harry is beneath his weight. It sends a streak of lightning straight to his dick when Harry sucks in a breath to try and keep himself in line.

Louis kisses down his neck, sucking a small mark at the dip of his collarbone. He smiles when he feels Harry’s grip tightening around him. “Don’t apologize,” Louis moves back up to his lips. He places a hand over Harry’s heart just to feel it spike when he whispers into his ear. “I want you to.”

Harry freezes the moment the words leave Louis’ mouth.

Until this moment, anytime they started going too far one of them (usually Louis) would come to his senses and hit the brakes all in the name of taking it slow. Each time, Louis would walk away harder than he’s ever been in his life, but ultimately happy with their decision to not rush things. As much as Liam teases him for being sentimental, Louis has been falling for Harry since the day they met. He can’t help it if he wants their first time to be a little bit special.  They’ve been seeing each other for months now, and Harry has just done all of these wonderful things for him tonight. He can’t think of any time more special than right now when even just the thought of Harry makes his chest swell.

Harry breathes a laugh and rolls his eyes at the conviction on Louis’ face.

“Here? Right now? In your _car?”_

“No. Upstairs, inside, in your bed.” He presses a kiss to the underside of Harry jaw and keeps going downward until Harry’s shirt collar stops him. Harry moans into his touch when Louis lets a curious hand wander over the front of Harry’s jeans.

“Y-You’re sure? We’re not moving too fast again?”

Louis giggles, shaking his head. Any slower and they’ll have to wait till marriage. “If you want to wait then we can, but I’m ready whenever you are.” Louis removes his hand and links their fingers together between their chests, careful not to make any unnecessary movements that might sway Harry’s decision.

Harry violently shakes his head. “No no, I want to!” His face reddens when Louis laughs at his insistence, but he’s grinning from ear to ear when he tries again, this time a lot less demanding. “I mean, I’m ready too. I just wanted to check with you to make sure...” Harry stares up at him with genuine concern, concern that might not have developed if they hadn’t taken their time with each other. Harry cares about him, and that’s all that truly matters.

“Oh I’m sure. I’m sure I’m going to leave you here and get started on my own if we’re not out of this car soon.” Louis leaves a quick kiss on his lips as he struggles to dismount himself from Harry’s lap to open the door. He snorts a laugh when they’re finally untangled and Harry stumbles out onto the street. He takes Louis’ hand in his, pulling him along as they climb the steps.

His heart is pounding by the time they reach his door, and it only beats harder when Harry pushes him against it with the warmth from his hands spanning the width of his back. His whole world is reduced to the feeling of Harry’s mouth on his, Harry’s curls tumbling into their faces each time he surges forward.

At some point he hears the door creak open behind him, so he drags Harry with him as he backs inside. He bypasses the couch and heads straight for Harry’s room, lying him down into the mattress as soon as they reach it.

It’s quieter now that they aren’t stumbling through the dark, so Louis pulls back, dropping kisses anywhere he sees skin peeking out from Harry’s clothes.

He starts undressing him, finding more stretches of skin to taste as he works. Louis pulls back just to marvel at him, reveling in the fact that he can finally touch, though he resists the urge to do so just yet. Instead he leans down to bring their lips together again, feeling Harry grin against him with each gentle slide of their lips.

When he can feel Harry’s breaths catching in his chest he pulls back just enough to meet his eyes.

“Tell me what you like.” He dips down to kiss him again, however he can no longer feel the smile on Harry’s lips. “What do you want?” It’s obvious that he wants _something_ judging by how hard Harry is straining against him, but you wouldn’t know it from the blank expression on his face.

He’s got that deer caught in headlights look he always adopts when encountering something new for the first time. Louis isn’t positive, but something tells him no one has ever cared enough to even consider what Harry might want, let alone actually ask him. It makes something like anger rise in his chest, thinking about the people who didn’t deserve to be where he is, but he refuses to let Harry see it.

He hopes Harry can feel the reassurance in his kiss when Louis recaptures his lips. He isn’t sure if Harry knows what he wants, but Louis is willing to spend a lifetime helping him figure it out.


	9. Harry

The words continuously bounce around in his mind, and even after a whole minute has passed Harry still has no idea what he’s meant to say. _Tell me what you like…_

The warmth spreading through his limbs and the building pressure around his groin were his biggest concern up until a few moments ago. Even now he’s finding it hard to focus on much else as Louis continues kissing down his naked body, and Louis expects him to _think_ at a time like this?

“I uh, I-I don’t know?” Harry sits up to chase his lips, hoping he’ll get to taste them, but Louis won’t meet him half way.

Harry flops back down with a sigh when Louis lightly pushes against his chest. Harry watches as he trails back downward and Louis smiles up at him from where his face is just hovering over Harry’s lower body. Harry isn’t even breathing when Louis dips down to bite at one of his hipbones. No one has ever made him feel like this.

“Come on, love. Think really hard.” Louis encourages him with a smirk on his lips which does nothing except fuel Harry’s imagination of everything his lips could do and what they would look like while he does it.

Harry is finding it difficult to even remember Louis’ initial question at this point. He racks his brain for the words to express what he wants. The words rush from his mouth in a hurried jumble. “I just want to have sex with you, like _now_.”

That sentence was honestly the best he could do considering the circumstances, and Louis just laughs it off like it didn’t take all of Harry's concentration to say it.

Harry’s stomach clenches in on itself when Louis’ soft laughter hits his skin. “Well I figured that much,” Harry watches his own chest jump with a sharp intake of breath when Louis runs the palm of his hand over his dick. Louis stares down at it like he might lean in for a taste, but doesn’t move. “Tell me _how._ ”

Louis could literally do anything to him right now and Harry would be completely okay with it. He can’t even remember the last time he had sex, and now that so much attention is being given to his cock he can’t focus on anything else; on _anyone_ else but Louis.

He reaches down to touch himself to take off some of the edge. He gets one measly stroke in before Louis swiftly knocks his hand out of the way, giving him a mildly chastising look. “That’s cheating,” he claims.

Harry is certain he’s going to die here in this bed, graced with Louis’ naked body and absolutely nothing to show for it but an erection he can’t get rid of. He sits up again to try and pull Louis toward him, but he doesn’t budge. He’s just sitting there waiting, his expression extremely patient for someone so obviously aroused. It’s too much for him when Louis runs a palm over himself and then over Harry’s sensitive skin. The words just fall out of Harry’s mouth at his touch.

“I want you to fuck me.” It sounds harsh coming out his mouth and a lot less eloquent than he intended, but it must be exactly what Louis was waiting for because he stops what he’s doing to give Harry every bit of his attention. “That’s- That’s what I want. That’s what I like, just-”

“Of course,” Louis agrees, crawling back up to where Harry is to finally bring their lips together. “If that’s what you want.” The words get whispered against his mouth. Yes, that’s what he wants. It’s all he has thought about since the day he laid eyes on Louis, but they have waited so long that he never thought the day would come where Louis would actually do it.

Louis lying on top of him is the only thing keeping him from falling off the bed when he blindly fiddles around in his bedside table for condoms and lube. The rest of Harry’s body is busy being rocked into with every movement Louis makes while his free hand brushes over a million items other than the two he actually needs. He has been searching for so long that his arm is tired by the time he gives up.

“Fuck.” Harry pulls his arm back and Louis’ lips freeze where they were just sucking at his neck. “I thought I had condoms in here…” Harry doesn’t know why he says that out loud. He knew there were no condoms in that drawer when he opened it, but he hoped there might be a stray one that got tossed in there by accident. He doesn’t keep that stuff in here. Harry has never even had sex in this bed before because no other man has ever made it past his couch.

Harry leaves a quick kiss on his jaw as he gets up, heading for the door. “I’ll be right back.”

“Wait!” Louis sits up looking more frantic than Harry has seen him all night, his control clearly hanging on by a thread now that they’ve suddenly stopped. “Where are you going?”

Harry has to force his eyes away from the golden skin of Louis’ body. “Just give me like two seconds!” he shouts back, vaguely pointing in the direction of his living room. Harry walks as fast as he can without causing himself physical pain, but each step he takes still makes him wince with how hard he is.  

His one-track mind quickly locates the drawer he needs on his side table and rips it open with more force than necessary. He breathes a sigh of relief, grabbing what he needs and then waddling back to the room as quickly as he can.

He turns the corner and the apology he’s planning dies on his lips when he finds Louis lying there slinked back into the pillows, silently watching him in the door frame. Harry’s eyes follow each and every stroke of his hand as he touches himself. “You started without me.”

“Sorry,” he apologizes, but he doesn’t look sorry at all when he grins at him. Harry is still transfixed in the doorframe when Louis nods at the things in his hands. “So…is that stuff for us or are you going to just hold onto it all night?”

Harry dumbly blinks down at the condom and lube, wondering how the hell he forgot he was holding them in such a short span of time. A soft moan from across the room brings Harry’s attention back to what’s really the issue here, which is how the hell they’ve both been naked this whole time and still aren’t having sex.

Louis’ hips jerk up to meet his fist with another low sound, and it’s all Harry can take any more being just a spectator.  Everything in his hands gets tossed somewhere into his sheets when Harry approaches. All movement around himself stops when Louis reaches out his hand to guide Harry onto the bed.

He lays Harry down in the middle, spreading his knees apart as he scoots between them. Harry tries to figure out why being here with Louis feels so much different than being with anyone else while Louis’ warm fingertips trail down the inside of his thighs. Soft kisses follow immediately after, causing tiny butterflies to flutter through Harry’s stomach with each touch.

The sound of the lube opening brings all of his attention to Louis’ fingers and the way he heavily coats them. Louis throws a quick glance up to Harry near the pillows before his hand disappears somewhere he can’t see. Harry’s eyes immediately squeeze shut, expecting a bit of pain from how long it has been, but he isn’t careless like Colin, and he isn’t as nervous as Michael, instead Louis’ touch is so gentle that a quiet sigh falls from his lips as soon as he feels it.

Louis hasn’t even been using his fingers for long before Harry’s soft moans begin filling the room. Watching Louis bite down on his bottom lip each time he glances up to check on him has just as much effect on Harry as his fingers.

Louis’ face is absolute concentration as he works, and Harry can feel the intensity of his stare. One quick jab in the right spot causes Harry to fold in on himself, whining when his back hits the bed again. “Okay okay,” he breathes out to get Louis’ attention. “I’m good...I’m ready”

“Are you sure?” Louis twists his finger inside of him again just to see the way his back curves upwards. Harry loses sight of him when his eyelids flutter shut. All he can manage are a series of quick nods as an answer.

Louis’ fingers fall away from him and now the only sound he can hear is the crinkle of the condom wrapper as Louis tears it open. Harry peeks down to watch him roll it on. He moves with such confidence that Harry takes a deep breath, anticipating the size of him when Louis scoots closer. Harry expects him to just go for it and push inside of him, so he’s taken by surprise when Louis hovers over him for a long kiss instead.

He’s as tender as always, their lips gently sliding against one another, but tonight there’s something more in it that makes Harry’s chest tighten between them. Louis’ fingers tangle into his hair to bring Harry even closer to him, and the move forces an unexpected sound from Harry’s throat as he chases the feeling of Louis’ tongue in his mouth.

It’s far too soon when Louis lets go to look at him, his eyes silently asking if he’s ready. Harry nods, letting his legs open wider to accommodate him. He’s able to steal one more kiss before he feels Louis gently sliding into him.

Prior to Louis, Harry can’t remember a single time he was in this position and actually wanted to look into the eyes of the man pushing into him. Tonight he revels in it, keeping their faces aligned so he can see every flutter of Louis’ long eyelashes against his cheeks when Harry shifts to meet his thrusts. He feels and wants everything, grabbing onto Louis wherever he can, just to feel him even closer.  

Before, sex was always something quick and simple he used to distract himself from other things going on in his life. He was always pressed against dirty walls or painfully bent over pieces of furniture by men who didn’t give a fuck about him. With Louis, he isn’t sure what exactly has changed, but he knows that somehow this is different. _Louis_ is different.

Finally getting to feel Louis inside of him is worth every slide of skin against one another. When they’re finished, Harry is still lying motionless, trapped between the sheets and Louis’ weight as he kisses over every inch of Harry’s skin he can reach.

Somewhere between the lazy grin pasted on Louis’ face and the gentle press of his lips, Harry stops trying to figure out how the hell he managed to worm his way into his life and just accepts it; he realized he liked Louis a long time ago, he’d be an idiot had he believed otherwise, but only now as his heart continues to race inside his chest does he realize exactly how far he has fallen.

*

He loses track of how long he lies there curled into him, but he knows it must be getting late when he can feel Louis’ breaths coming deeper and more even. Harry tilts his head back enough to see Louis, his expression relaxed as he drifts off. He looks so cute with his messy hair and pink, splotchy cheeks that Harry cringes at the thought of what he has to do.

He tries to slip out of Louis’ grip as quietly as he can, but Louis’ strong arms tense around him the moment he moves. Harry watches the magnificence of Louis’ face as he blinks himself awake and into consciousness.

“What’s wrong? Was I snoring? I’m sorry.” Louis runs a hand over his face, pausing to rub at his eyes. Harry can’t help but find him gorgeous, even with his hair spread around his head and the extra grogginess in his voice.

“No, you weren’t snoring yet,” Harry grins.

Louis’ smirk turns into a giant yawn. “I never snore,” he insists. Harry rolls his eyes at him. Actually, he’s starting to think Louis probably snores like a train from how convinced he is on the matter, but he doesn’t voice his suspicions.

He yawns again, stretching a bit and pulling Harry with him as he settles back down in the pillows. It’s comfortable where Louis’ got him pinned against his chest; unfortunately Harry can’t stay there.

“Lou…” Louis’ eyes are already closed again, his warm hands moving over Harry’s skin as his face goes slack.

“Hmm?”

Harry _hates_ to do it but…“I have to be at work soon…” Louis’ hands stop and suddenly he’s looking very much awake as he blinks down at Harry in his arms.

“Oh. Oh yeah, yeah of course.” Louis sits up with new energy, fumbling to untangle himself from the sheets. He’s already searching for his clothes when he starts apologizing. “I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. I’m sorry.” He looks startled now that he’s up, which was the exact opposite of what Harry intended.

“H- Hey,” Harry runs his palm over a tattoo on Louis’ arm to get his attention. “ _I_ have to go to work, not you…” Louis stops trying to slip on his shirt, pausing to really look at him. “You can go back to sleep if you want,” he shrugs. “You can uh, you know, stay…” He shrugs again to try and convince himself and Louis that his words were totally planned.

Louis quirks an eyebrow at him. “You want me to stay…as in _here_?” Louis’ lips are pulling into an unsure smile as he says the words out loud. Harry can see why Louis is skeptical; it sounds crazy to him too.

“Well, yeah? I mean, why not?”

Harry tries to grin back, having no clue where any of this false confidence is coming from. He figures Louis is always there around this time of night anyway; at this point he might as well just sleep over.

Louis breathes a laugh to himself, his eyes skeptical and just a tiny bit amused. “You’re going to let me just hang out in your flat all night while you’re at work? Naked. Asleep in your bed, and completely naked.”

Now Harry is laughing, biting down on his grin, “Yeah, I guess I am.” Louis’ eyebrows rise in exaggerated surprise. He looks even more impressed when Harry pushes him back down into the mattress and straddles his bare hips. “I’ll only be gone for a couple of hours...it’s up to you.”

He gets Louis’ mouth pressed into his as an answer. He can feel Louis grinning against him when he pulls away.

“So is that a yes?” Harry laughs.

“That’s a hurry up and get out so I can sleep.” He laughs, tapping Harry’s thigh so he’ll raise up enough for Louis to pull the covers up around him.

Harry takes the hint, climbing down from the bed in search of his own clothes. He’s half-dressed, eyes darting around the room in search of his keys and wallet when he catches Louis watching him from the bed. He feels a chill run over his skin from the intensity of Louis’ gaze as his eyes track every move.

“Maybe you should skip tonight…stay here instead,” Louis tells him. His face is the picture of innocence even though Harry knows better. Harry wouldn’t dream of blowing off work. He has never missed a day or night at either of his jobs, although the way Louis smirks makes him seriously consider doing it.

“I can’t.”

Louis tries to pout, but his grin gives him away. “Oh come on, just this once. Everyone ditches _at least_ once.” Harry shakes his head, laughing at the way Louis has his lip poked out to gain his sympathy. If he were a weaker man he’d give in, but he resists Louis’ pleading by changing the subject.

“I’m going to lock you in when I leave so you don’t have to get up, alright?” Louis must notice him trying to move away from the whole work conversation because he simply nods at everything Harry tells him. He slides down, getting comfortable in the bed without Harry, and he doesn’t pry, for which Harry is eternally grateful. “There’s some food in the fridge I think, but don’t quote me on that…I get home a little after midnight. I’ll try not to wake you when I get in.” Aside from Niall every once in a while no one else ever wanders around his flat when he isn’t home. Harry lists off all the things he can think of, racking his brain for anything he might have left out.

“Are you taking the bus?” Louis asks out of nowhere. Harry answers him with a quick nod. “I figured as much…” He clears his throat when he looks unsure of what to say next, “Well my car is going to be just sitting here...you should take it. Get a break from the bus for a while.” It’s tempting, but somehow Louis’ offer sounds a lot more serious than Harry’s invitation to spend the night.

He quickly declines, dropping a quick kiss to Louis’ forehead to show his gratitude. “It’s alright. I don’t mind the bus. I’m used to it,” he insists.

He wishes Louis a good night as he turns off the bedside lamp. He’s already at the door, rushing because he’s running late when Louis’ voice stops him before he can take another step.

“H-Hey Haz?” Harry turns in his direction marveling at the sight of him in his bed. His voice is so soft when he speaks. “Be safe out there, yeah? It’s kind of late…”

Besides Niall or his family, no one else has ever shown that kind of concern for his well-being and whether or not he’s going to safely return when he leaves. The only other person who sometimes looks at him with wide worried eyes like he might disappear is his daughter. It makes something like emotion collect in his throat as he stands there unsure of how to take it coming from Louis.

He nods his reassurance, smiling from the door even though it’s dark and Louis probably can’t see him; he hopes that he can though.

“Of course, Lou. I’ll be back soon.”

*

When he creeps in later that night, he has to stifle a laugh at the sight of Louis half buried under the sheets, one leg hanging off the bed and a chorus of loud, chainsaw-like sounds spilling from his mouth.

Harry blindly undresses himself in the dark room, biting down on his laugh as he discreetly tucks Louis’ leg back under the covers and tries to roll him onto his side. Louis splutters out a choked-off sound at Harry’s touch. He freezes, not wanting to wake him. A few silent seconds tick by, but then finally Louis’ breaths even out again into a steady rhythm of snores.

It’s difficult, but Harry quietly slips into bed. He resumes his original position curled against Louis’ chest. He thinks he’s done a good job until he tries to shift closer and the mattress dips under his weight, startling Louis out of sleep for the second time that night. He blinks a few times like he isn’t quite sure where he is but then he sighs, feeling Harry there in his arms.

“Was I snoring?” he mumbles. “Sorry.” Harry can tell he’s already drifting back off.

“No Lou,” Harry lies. “You never snore, remember?” Louis nods against the pillow in agreement.

“Nope... never.” He yawns, tightening his grip on Harry as he finally nods back off. He’s silent for a grand total of thirty seconds before soft rumbling sounds start back up again.

He isn’t as loud as when Harry first found him, however keeping his laughter at bay is still a struggle. He manages to hold it together as he smiles to himself, vowing to record him next time he gets really loud.

Falling asleep to the soundtrack of Louis’ snores isn’t necessarily the worst thing in the world when Harry considers all the lonely nights he fell asleep in this very room in complete silence. Having someone to come home to isn’t a scenario Harry had ever envisioned for himself, but as he stares down at Louis, his new reality, he knows that he wouldn’t trade the feeling of lying next to him for anything.

*

He’s still groggy when the sound of an alarm pulls him from sleep the next morning. He frowns at the thought of moving in order to turn it off, and then out of nowhere the sound stops and a pair of lips are smoothing out the crinkle between his eyebrows.

“Good morning. Sorry about that.”

Louis is smiling down at him with those warm blue eyes, the color just as lovely in the early hours of morning as they are any other time of the day. “I figured I should set the alarm a bit earlier since you live further away. Didn’t mean to wake you.” He drops a kiss to Harry’s lips in another apology.

Being woken up prematurely is never an enjoyable experience, but Harry thinks he could get used to it if Louis is going to smile at him this way every morning. “It’s alright. I need to get up anyway,” Harry assures him, already moving to sit up.

Louis’ fingers lightly push him back until he’s lying flat against the mattress. Louis goes with him, speaking with his breaths landing just outside the shell of Harry’s ear. “Don’t get out of bed just because I have to,” he whispers. His lips are even more persuasive than his words when he kisses along Harry’s jaw. Harry’s breath catches in his throat at the sensation of Louis’ tongue slipping into his mouth so easily.  “You should get some more rest.”

Harry nods, just now realizing how tired he is even after a full night of sleep. Staying in bed for a few extra minutes sounds wonderful, now that Louis mentions it.

When Louis seems convinced that he’s going to stay put, he gets to work locating all of his belongings scattered all over the floor. Harry is supposed to be resting per Louis’ request, but he can’t help but watch him as he pulls on the shirt from the night before, the fabric covering all of the intricate ink on his beautiful golden skin. He watches until Louis unexpectedly turns around. Harry quickly shuts his eyes to avoid getting caught, but he isn’t quick enough.

“I saw that,” Louis teases, slipping his phone into his back pocket when he’s fully dressed. He bends over to grab his keys and Harry catches every move, no longer pretending to sleep.

 “I can’t say I’m sorry about it,” Harry smirks.

Louis perches himself on the side of the bed. He runs his fingers over the dip of Harry’s waist, with his eyes travelling down toward the band of his boxer briefs. “I’m sorry I can’t call in sick to stay here with you.” Harry can tell he means every word when he leans in, his lips warm and soft where they land against his chest. It’s not like Harry has a lot of experience lounging around in bed all day, but he’s certain staying here with Louis would be nothing short of amazing.

Louis has to force himself to leave after he checks the time. Louis finally gets up after he whispers a quick goodbye against his lips, promising to see him later at the recreation center with the girls. Harry had been so focused on the fantasy of never-ending sex that he nearly forgot Louis comes to practice on Fridays.  He watches Louis close the bedroom door behind him, already counting down the hours until he’ll see him again.

A large yawn escapes him when Louis leaves, so he rolls over to snuggle closer into his pillow. His eyes are only closed for a few seconds when they suddenly spring back open at the sound of a startled shriek, quickly followed by another.

He’s out of bed in a flash, wrenching the door open to find Louis clutching his chest in the middle of the living room while Niall clutches at the handle of a chopping knife in the middle of Harry’s kitchen.

They all deflate after a few seconds, though Niall and Louis’ eyes are still wide with alarm. Harry doesn’t know who to start with so he goes for the one who looks the most traumatized. “Niall, what the hell are you doing here so early?”

“Me?! What the hell is _he_ doing screaming at me?” Niall drops the knife into the sink to place a hand over his heart. “He nearly scared the piss out of me! I thought he was you!”

Louis draws in a quick breath to argue. “You screamed too, and I thought you were a fucking burglar! You know how he never locks the door. I didn’t know you were even in here!”

They both take deep breaths after a few quiet, awkward seconds have ticked by. Harry looks between them unsure if he should say anything or just quietly slink back to his bed and pretend it was all a dream. He turns to Niall to check if he still looks shell shocked. He does.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes.” Niall scoffs, “Actually no. Well, I was worried when you and Louis didn’t show up for dinner, and then you never answered my texts so I thought something was up…” he smirks, zeroing in on their matching disheveled  hair and the hard lines and wrinkles of Louis’ clothes. “…Clearly _something_ was.”

Harry’s eyes grow wide as he tries to silently reprimand his friend from across the room. He glances at Louis out of the corner of his eye and sees him physically bite down on his bottom lip to keep from snorting.

They stand there for an entire awkward minute before Niall obnoxiously clears his throat all the way in the kitchen. “Well…” he raises his eyebrows at Louis. “Don’t you uh, have to get to work or whatever?”

A tiny crease forms between Louis’ eyebrows. “Are you trying to kick me out?”

“Louis, I want details and I can’t get them while you’re here so,” Niall gestures towards the front door with a smile, “Don’t you have to get to work?”

Harry immediately interjects. “Lou, we are _not_ going to sit around gossiping-”

Niall scoffs from where he’s leaning against the stove. “Yeah we are,” he mumbles under his breath.

Harry is going to kill him when Louis leaves. He hopes his face conveys it with the way he glares in Niall’s direction. They’re at another silent stand-off when Louis breathes a sigh of defeat. He rolls his eyes as he checks his phone for the time.

“Alright, I _do_ actually have to get to work.” He turns toward Harry, quickly kissing his lips, “I’ll see you later.” He smiles and plants another kiss on his cheek before heading for the door.

 Louis’ waves in Niall’s direction “Bye Niall! He’s not going to tell you anything…” Louis sings with a smirk. Niall waves him off, watching Louis as if sheer will alone could make him move faster.

Louis laughs to himself seeing Niall’s impatient glare as he reaches for the door handle. Harry is relieved to see that Niall has the decency to at least wait until Louis is actually gone before prying.

“Shit. Tell me _everything_ ,” he demands with excited eyes.

Harry manages to contain the smile he feels threatening to spill out over his face. He hasn’t even had the chance to really process everything that happened the night before and Niall is suddenly demanding details? “I don’t know.” Harry shrugs walking over to the kitchen to try and guess what Niall is making. “There’s nothing to tell.” He starts peeking inside the cluster of grocery bags sitting on the counter. Niall slaps his hand away to squint at him.

“You disappear for an entire evening and then Louis Tomlinson Sex-Hair comes stumbling out of your room before sunrise and there’s _nothing_ to tell?” Niall crosses his arms with a flat emotionless face. “Bullshit.”

Harry laughs at his expression. “What do you want me to say?!” Harry could tell him a multitude of things about last night, but first he’d have to stop grinning so fucking much.

“Tell me about his family. Start there.” Niall walks back over to the sink to continue chopping vegetables as he waits for a response.

“Meeting Jay was actually really nice. They’re all so much alike.” He laughs. “It’s funny to see them all together.”

Niall glances over at him with a tense expression. “Was she nice to you?” Harry nods, causing Niall’s shoulders to relax. Harry’s biggest fear was that she’d see right through him and tell Louis to chuck him as quickly as possible. From what he could tell, Jay seemed to genuinely like him. “Good. She better have been,” Niall threatens out loud to absolutely no one.

Niall scrapes everything he chopped into a bowl then starts chopping up something else. Harry has nothing to add so Niall continues to prompt him. “Okay, so you went over to his house and then what?”

Never in his life has Harry felt a blush creep up on his cheeks from the thought of having sex with someone, but for some reason his face is tingling hot as he recalls the memories of what happened in his room just a few hours ago. Harry looks up to find Niall gawking at him when he notices the chopping sounds have completely stopped. He feels even more blood rush to his face at the shit-eating grin Niall is wearing.

“Holy shit.”

“What?” Harry whines. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Well I would if you’d stop grinning like that every time you think about him.”

Harry tries, really he does, but it’s no use because he can’t. Niall drops the knife into the sink to turn and face him.

“So maybe I like him, so what?”

Niall's eyebrows shoot up. “Mate, I think you more than _like_ him, this is…I’ve never seen you like this before. This is- I don’t know it’s-”

“It’s nothing,” Harry finishes for him.

Yes, it’s obvious that he is quite fond of Louis, but it’s nothing more than that. It can’t be. Niall sighs at him and turns back to his chopping. Now that Niall has ruined his morning buzz it’s kind of hard to hold on to the residual excitement from the night before.

It’s quiet between them for a long time before Niall faces him again. “You’re with him almost every day,” Niall points out. “I know you care about him, Harry. I mean he brought you home to meet his _family_. He wants you in his life, haven’t you thought about him being in yours?” Louis _is_ in his life. Harry sighs already planning his counter argument, but he doesn’t anticipate what Niall says next when his tone turns soft. “Harry, I don’t think he would mind if you told him about her.”

“Niall…”

“I know, I know.” Niall raises a hand to calm him. “I’m just saying think about it, because if you’re eventually going to let someone in it might as well be the boy who’s practically in love with you. He’s good for you.”

A tiny version of his previous grin creeps back onto his face. “He isn’t in love with me.” Harry knows the probability of it is far-fetched, but even the thought of Louis possibly loving him makes something warm spread through his chest.

Niall rolls his eyes. “Are you serious right now? Have you _seen_ the man? God, I hope I look half as happy as he did strolling out of your room when me and Gemma finally-”

Harry shuts his eyes like he can see the images playing out in Niall’s mind even though the words are enough to make him want to die. The two of them have been spending more and more time together lately, so Harry just assumed they had moved way past the nervous flirting. He never wanted it confirmed or denied and he’s still resolved to pour bleach into his ear canals, but his curiosity gets the better of him.

“You two aren’t…” Harry shakes his head. He can’t even bear to say the words, “You know?”

Niall smirks. “Looks who’s prying now.” Harry wants to strangle him. He probably could. There has to be some rope around here somewhere… Niall laughs at the look on his face before finally answering. “No, we haven’t yet.”

Harry nods, already hating himself for his next question. “I’m going to regret asking, but…why not?”

Niall shrugs and bites down on an embarrassed grin of his own. “I don’t know Haz, I like her a lot. We don’t want to rush it.”

He remembers Niall saying those exact words to him after his first date with Louis. The concept of waiting was lost on him until Niall reassured him it was a good sign. Harry nods, now understanding exactly what it means. “You’re taking it slow.”

“Yeah,” he nods, “Taking it slow.”

*

The morning kept him pretty busy, but by the time noon rolls around Harry is back to staring the clock down in anticipation of his favorite patrons walking through the double doors. He stifles his laughs into his shirt sleeve each time Louis sends him a text meant to further distract him from work. At one point he got so distracted that a woman spoke to him about her reservation for over a minute before Harry even looked up and realized she was there. After that embarrassing exchange, Harry forced himself to get some work done, after all Louis would be there in person in just a few hours.

It’s half past three when he ventures to pull his phone out again. He scrolls through Louis’ mountain of texts rather quickly. After Harry has replied he starts scrolling through his photo gallery to pass the time. His grin never left from his conversation with Louis, so it grows even larger when he sees his daughter smiling up at him.

The need to see her is instantaneous, so he quickly types out a message to Elaine saying he wants to come by after work. She answers him back right away.

Elaine: ‘ _She’d love that Harry. Are you not coming tomorrow anymore?’_ She doesn’t seem angry with him today which makes him feel even better about his decision to visit.

_‘I’m still coming tomorrow too. I’ll be there right after work.’_

Time moves slowly as he wishes for it to speed up. He ends up pacing around the building and the grounds pretending to monitor the guests as he awaits Louis’ arrival. When it’s so close that Harry can feel his heart speeding up in anticipation he heads back to the front desk.

Louis walks in few minutes later as loud as usual when he announces their arrival, but today he’s the first one through the door, sprinting ahead of the girls to get to the front desk. “We’re here and on time!”

Harry laughs at how proud of himself he sounds. “Actually, you’re early again,” Harry laughs.

The girls excitedly wave at him as they trek through the lobby with Liam following close behind. Louis’ sisters start bragging to the other girls about Harry coming over to visit while Liam tries to usher them out onto the field. He shouts a quick greeting to him as he coaxes the eight little girls out the door. When everyone is successfully out he turns to Louis. “Do not take forever,” he warns. He flashes Harry an apologetic smile. “No offense, mate.”

“No, I get it. You need your co-captain out there. You two make a good team.”

It’s clear from Liam’s expression that he and Louis working well together is a laughable concept, but Louis beams at him for the praise. Louis leans in, his eyes focused on Harry’s mouth, and Harry’s eyes immediately dart over to Liam still obliviously standing in the doorway.

Louis clears his throat when he notices him there too. “Uh, Li…” he tilts his head toward the field door. “The girls are out there all alone.” He raises an eyebrow at Liam when he just stares at him. Louis sighs, trying again. “I _said_ the girls are-” Louis cuts himself off with a shake of his head. “Liam, get out or you’re going to see and hear tongue. That’s fair warning.”

Harry bursts out laughing watching Liam’s mouth turn down into a grimace. He turns to leave without a moment’s delay. 

“I tried being subtle!” Louis shouts at him, but the door closes on his words.

Harry does a quick scan of the room to make sure they’re alone before letting himself be pulled into Louis’ mouth. He takes his time with Harry today, his fingers light where they hold him there across the welcome desk. Harry melts into the touch, completely forgetting he’s at work when a pleased sound accidentally escapes him. Louis giggles into his mouth at the sound. His eyes trail his lips when they pull away.

“Sorry about that. I forgot where I was for a moment.” Harry isn’t sorry at all actually. He wishes they could be someplace else, preferably in his bedroom. His heart is still racing from the taste of Louis on his tongue.

“I was no use at work because I kept thinking about you all day,” Louis admits.

“Oh yeah?” Harry glances at his hair and the growing stubble around his jaw, finding him looking just as unkempt as when he left Harry’s bed in the early hours of the morning. It’s obvious he didn’t have time to shower, and yet Harry still wants to wrap himself up in him. “What were you thinking about me all day?”

“Well if I tell you the fantasy it won’t come true,” he jokes. The mischievous glint in Louis’ eye makes him want to play along.

Harry leans over the countertop, “If you tell, I’ll make sure that it does,” he whispers.

Harry can pinpoint the moment when realization strikes Louis, because he takes a measured breath to get a handle on himself as his eyes immediately start searching around the room for exits that might lead to somewhere a lot more private.  Sadly his gaze ends up landing on the clock on the wall above Harry’s head.

He hangs his head with a loud sigh. “Liam’s going to kill me if I don’t get out there.”

Harry can feel the disappointment pouring off of him. For some reason he finds it hilarious. “Well…there’s always next time,” he grins, rubbing salt in Louis’ wound.

Louis scoffs. “Yeah, next time. Next time I’m bringing my things with me so I can avoid Liam’s judgement when my hair looks like this.”

“I like your bedhead hair. It’s very abstract.”

“You mean it’s very nest-like,” Louis laughs, leaning over to kiss Harry once more. His lips linger for a moment before pulling away. “I’ll see you in a bit?”

Harry watches him go, knowing his face looks ridiculously infatuated as he grins at absolutely nothing. He shamelessly peeks out the window every few seconds just to catch a glimpse of him, and when they all come strolling back inside Louis heads straight for him. His hair is damp from sweat and he’s got dirt streaked down the side of his neck, and somehow Harry still finds him amazing.

“So what are you doing after work?” Louis asks, perched up on top of the desk. He only ended up that way because Harry got a little too enthusiastic during their reunion kiss when the girls left and he practically dragged Louis over the top of it.

“I have some stuff to do before work tonight.”

Harry watches Louis’ eyes dart over to where his phone is resting screen side down. Louis has looked at that picture a million times by now. Harry can see the question forming on his lips each time he sees her, but he still hasn’t asked yet. “Okay. Well, I’ll see you at the album thing tomorrow anyway…we’re still meeting there right?

“Yep. Six o’clock.”

“Mhmm.” Louis hums. “Right after you’re back from wherever it is you have to be after work.”

He says it in the same tone as everything else he has said, but somehow Harry felt there was a slight bite to the words. Louis’ smile is still intact so Harry ignores it, answering him back with a smile of his own.

When Louis is gone he wastes no time closing the rec center so he can make the bus on time to Elaine’s.

He arrives, hearing Calla’s voice behind the door when he knocks. His ears catch her muffled ‘ _Can I open it?_ ’ followed by Chris’ suggestion that they answer it together.

It swings open and Harry makes of show of being impressed. “I didn’t know you could answer the door, Calla! That’s _really_ grown up, love.”

She smiles up at him, instantly wrapping herself around his legs when he walks in. He nods at Christopher like always and then spots Elaine as she walks into the living room.

“You got here really fast,” she remarks sounding almost surprised. It’s usually much later when Harry is strolling in for a visit. Sometimes Calla’s already half asleep.

“Sorry for randomly coming over like this. I know you asked me to come over on Saturday but...” he lets his explanation drop off into nothing. He can’t really explain why he felt the need to visit tonight, but his heart felt even lighter the moment he made the decision to.

“What? No,” Elaine shakes her head. “Please don’t apologize…I was surprised to hear from you, so I’m glad you wanted to come over at all.”

Harry nods to himself at the sincerity in her words realizing his visits have been very calm lately when it comes to the two of them butting heads.

“I probably won’t stay very long,” he warns, and the look on Elaine’s face shows that she figured that much.

Somehow he ends up staying for nearly two hours. He even accepts Elaine’s invitation to stay for dinner, making both her and Chris’ eyebrows raise in surprise. He and Calla color pictures while they cook, and when it’s time to eat they all try to engage in small talk almost like a real family. Elaine is surprisingly lenient when Calla begs to go outside to show off her garden again even though it’s getting dark. They start off crawling around in the soil together but it quickly transitions into a night running around in the backyard playing tag. He is there for so long that a big yawn from his daughter lets him know that it’s probably time to leave.

He walks out the door saying he’ll be back to visit tomorrow.

“Alright… we’ll see you tomorrow,” she tells him. Elaine looks at him like she doesn’t believe him, and in all honesty, she shouldn’t, but still there’s something else in her expression like hope.

The next day at work flies by for him, and before he knows it he’s closing up the center again. Louis texted him about a billion times to double, triple, and quadruple check that he remembers to show up to the album sale. Harry snorts a laugh each time he replies with, _‘what album sale?’_ and Louis sends back several flat faced emojis.

This time when he arrives at Elaine’s her eyes are wide with astonishment.

“Y- You came…”

Harry breathes a laugh at the shock in her voice as he steps through the door. “Well yeah, El. You told me to.”

“I mean yeah, I guess I did but,” she pauses to really look at Harry. He remembers when they were younger and always up to no good, getting into trouble together whenever they could. He hasn’t seen her smile like _that_ Elaine in a while. It’s nice to see a flash of that grin on her face now when Calla runs up to hug him. “I didn’t think you’d show up,” she admits.

He shrugs like it’s nothing, but they both know that it is.

He’s only there with Calla for a little while, but Elaine doesn’t say anything about the length of his visit. She still looks stunned at the fact that he’s there at all.

He’s almost out the door when Elaine’s voice stops him. “Harry?”

He turns to face her thinking maybe he isn’t getting out twice in one week without some kind of argument. He sighs trying to guess what it is she wants. “It wasn’t _that_ much more that I added to the account. I promise it’s nothing,” he sighs.

“No…” She seems complexly unconcerned about the money when blinks up at him. “No, I was going to say thanks for this. For visiting and trying and…” she pauses after meeting his eyes. “You seem different.” Harry shrugs his disagreement, but she persists, still trying to spot the difference. “You look better than I’ve seen you in years. Whatever it is, I’m glad.”

There’s a moment where Harry wants to tell Elaine what it is, or rather _who_ it is that has made his eyes look so much brighter. Louis comes to his mind when he checks the time on his phone and sees Louis’ text threatening to kill him if doesn’t hurry up and get there. Elaine nods when he tells her he has to go.

“Okay. You’re grinning at your phone,” she points out.

“Oh. Am I?” Harry bites down on his bottom lip to hide it, but the damage has been done.

“Yeah, you are.” Elaine’s curiosity causes her to stare him down. “Hopefully we’ll see you soon?” she asks when Harry is already walking out the door.

“I’ll be back soon!” he shouts back, his feet carrying him to the street as fast as they can.

*

He wears that same happy expression the entire time he and Louis searched through cases and cases of faded albums. He keeps it when they decide to skip dinner and go straight for dessert when they stop at a random pastry shop to eat cupcakes.

They settle down together in Harry’s bed, and just when Harry thought his mood had reached its peak, they have sex for the second time. He’s left speechless by the softness of Louis’ touch, and his heart swells when they’re lying there together, tangled up in the sheets with Louis’ hands warming his already flushed skin.

Harry isn’t really sure how it happened, but somehow Louis has stolen his heart, and even though he shouldn’t, Harry is convinced that the man sleeping at his side shares similar feelings about him.

He had been contemplating letting Louis in long before Niall suggested it, but the thought of Louis turning his back on him wasn’t worth the risk. It’s still not worth it, but he feels compelled to tell him the truth each time he disappears or turns over his phone to hide Calla’s face.

He doesn’t know the timeline for admitting that you have a secret child, but Harry is pretty sure he’s pushing it considering they’ve been seeing each other for so long. He has no plan and he refuses to form any expectations of how Louis will react, but he knows the longer he waits the worse it will be.

He falls asleep that night praying that Niall is right about him.


	10. Louis

Louis can’t explain why he’s always grinning to himself or walking around with so many stars in his eyes that he can’t shut up about Harry. He is so caught up in anything and everything to do with the man that the few blissful nights he gets to spend tangled in Harry’s sheets start to pile up and before he knows it, another few weeks have passed. He knows people say time flies when you’re having fun, but Louis guesses it’s also true when you’re falling in love.

Things are greatly improved when it comes to Harry branching out into unknown situations. It took a lot of hard work to get Harry to agree to a double date with Liam and his girlfriend, but once they finally made it happen Harry had such a great time that he demanded their next get-together take place before the month’s end.

From the moment Harry walked out of his mother’s house that first night, she started harassing Louis about getting him to come back. Louis can hardly believe his ears one night when he casually brings it up and Harry says he’ll go without too much of a fight. He still finds the ease with which they all lounged around Jay’s living room watching movies and eating pizza out of boxes to be one of the best moments the two of them have shared together, even if Louis did have to behave and keep his hands to himself while in the presence of his family.

They end up making their relationship official one night at Toscana’s when Harry goes to the restroom and Niall loudly lets it slip that Harry isn’t sure of what they are.  Louis waits until they’re about to leave and asks one of the wait staff for a couple of take away boxes for him and his boyfriend. The look on Harry’s face is better than all of Niall’s chocolatey desserts combined when Harry meets his eyes with dumbfounded disbelief. Louis has now taken to using the term more often than is probably necessary just to see that shy smile spread across his face and hear him ask, “ _Lou, are you sure_?” Louis loves nothing more than to tell Harry how totally and completely sure he is about them.

Things are great. Things are so great that they’re amazing, but even with the strange love delirium Louis has found himself in, his brain can’t ignore the fact that there is still something not quite right about the whole situation…

Louis is at work when Liam walks into his office, his judgmental eyes silently roving around Louis’ mess of a work space.

“You can’t see your desk under all that.” Liam is referring to the papers scattered and falling onto the floor at his feet. Louis would prefer that he pretend to not notice when his professional life is in shambles.

“Are you here for something important or are you just here to complain about my pens not being sorted by color?” He keeps clicking around on his computer screen, accomplishing absolutely nothing while Liam starts trying to organize. Louis swiftly slaps his hands away from his pile of chaos and madness. “Get out so I can work.”

Liam takes another look at the disorder splayed out before him. “Yeah right,” he laughs. “You’re not even doing anything.” The long sigh Louis lets out is the most productive thing he has done all day. He gets no sympathy from Liam when he lets his forehead hit his desk. “Did you check your email?” he asks.

Louis lifts his head to frown at him. “Of course not,” he groans.

“I figured you hadn’t.” Liam rolls his eyes as he walks over to where Louis is sitting. Their hands fight for control over the computer and Liam wins, his fingers moving to open Louis’ email for him. “A coach from another team asked if we were interested in playing against them. I said I’d let her know after I talked with you, but of course you never look at your damn email so you didn’t even know I had asked.”

Liam crosses his arms like his little tirade is supposed to make Louis feel bad. It doesn’t. “Who sends _email_ , Li? No one. That’s who.”

“Yeah, you’re right. What was I thinking? If I wanted you to answer me I should’ve texted or at least changed my name to Harry Styles.” A blank stare is all Louis gives him.

“Are you quite finished?”

“It depends. Are you going to tell me whether or not you’re interested in playing? I mean it’s just a little friendly competition, it could be good for the girls to play against other kids…”

Louis stops listening. He doesn’t care about Liam’s vision of girls politely kicking footballs around each other in hopes of one _possibly_ landing in a goal. Louis wants his girls to _crush_ the other team. “When does the other coach want to play?” he interrupts.

“I don’t know. In a couple of weeks?” Liam shrugs. “She didn’t give an exact date.”

Louis grins. “Good. More time to whip our team into shape.”

Liam frowns at him. “Louis. They’re like eight years old. It’s not about winning,” he tries to explain, but once again Louis ignores him. It’s always about winning when it comes to football, and Louis cannot wait for his girls to taste victory.

 

He’s at Harry’s later that night when he tells him all about it. Harry fondly shakes his head and laughs each time Louis gets carried away and forgets that these are little girls he’s coaching and not a major national league.

“I want _everyone_ there,” Louis tells him from where they’re lying next to each other near the record player. “This kind of event needs a crowd. I want the girls to feel supported.”

Harry runs his fingers through the ends of Louis’ hair as he talks. It feels amazing.

“I’m sure Erin will show up if you ask her. Just tell her ahead of time so she doesn’t plan anything else. And Niall will definitely come,” Harry assures him. “He wouldn’t miss a good game for anything even if they are little girls.” Louis nods, already loving the people Harry has added to his little list of supporters.

Louis takes a gamble and suggests one other possible spectator for Harry to include. “I don’t know if she has plans, but do you think Niall will want to bring Gemma?” The fingers in Louis’ hair freeze. “I mean Erin will be there and so will my mum. Sophia will be there too. They could all keep each other company,” Louis rushes to say as if tacking on that last bit will make Harry feel less anxious about it.

It’s so quiet that Louis can hear every shallow breath Harry takes. He thinks he has maybe over stepped the boundaries by suggesting Gemma come to the game, but then a few more seconds pass and he feels Harry’s fingers slowly resume their carding.

“Sure, Lou. I’ll text her and Niall…”

“You will?” He can see the apprehension in Harry’s eyes and he can’t help but wonder why it’s there at all. Louis just wants to be let in, and lately Harry has been giving him this look like there’s something he needs to say. His heart nearly beats out of his chest each time he thinks Harry is finally going to tell him whatever it is Louis can feel him thinking so hard about, but then the moment passes and he just…doesn’t.

“Yeah Lou…I think she’d like that a lot and so would Niall,” he hears Harry’s shaky breath beside him. “I know you would too.”

Louis turns to press a kiss under his jaw and links their hands together between them. Yes, he would love to finally meet _someone_ significant in his boyfriend’s life…Louis would just prefer that Harry not look scared shitless at the thought.

“Only if you feel comfortable with it, love.” Louis kisses him again. “She may be busy or something anyway. It’s alright if she can’t make it.”

*

The weeks leading up to the game cause Harry’s eyebrows to be fixed in a permanent line of worry each time the day is mentioned. Louis doesn’t know if Harry has done what he promised and actually extended the invitation to his sister or not, but he refuses to bring it up from fear of starting an argument or making Harry pull away.

As it turns out, Louis doesn’t have to mention it at all because Niall brings it up for him.

“Hey. Is it alright if we’re there kind of early tomorrow? I told Gems I’d pick her up earlier than I should have.”

Louis’ neck whips around at the mention of her name. He’s not surprised when he catches sight of Harry nervously gnawing at his bottom lip between his teeth like Louis has caught him doing lately.

“Yeah, that should be fine. You guys can just hang out with everyone else until the game starts,” Louis tells Niall. He places an encouraging hand on Harry’s knee so he’ll meet his eyes. “Right, Haz?”

“Yeah,” He nods with a deep breath. Louis can see the way he forces a grin onto his face when he replies. “Yeah, Ni. That’s fine,” he smiles.

Louis doesn’t miss the skeptical look Niall gives Harry out of the corner of his eye, and no one mentions how Harry looks nervous as hell all of a sudden, but at least Gemma is coming. At least Louis will finally get to meet her.

*

Saturday comes and Louis is so eager to get started that Liam has to tell him to calm down several times before they even make it to the rec center.  Louis tries to get a handle on himself, but the girls are just as excited as he is, and his friends and family are all there to support them, and even though his boyfriend looks like he’s going to hyperventilate at any moment, Louis couldn’t be more thrilled to have him there by his side to cheer on his team.

They get there almost an entire hour early so the other girls’ families can arrive and get settled to watch their daughters play. Louis’ sisters run out their extra energy on the field while Louis flits back and forth between everyone that arrives. He drags Harry along with him to distract him from searching for Niall and his sister, but his eyes still constantly search the small crowd for them.

Louis is a bit anxious himself to meet the infamous Gemma. He has known Niall almost as long as he has known Harry, and anyone that can make Niall blush just from talking about her has to be someone worth getting to know. He doesn’t have to wait too much longer before Harry’s grip tightens around his hand at the sight of both of them approaching. Louis grins up at Harry, squeezing his hand to let him know everything will be fine.

Niall loudly calls over to them from across the field wearing shades and a bright smile with Gemma by his side. When they’re close enough, he opens his arms to ambush Harry with a hug, but Gemma cuts him off, throwing her arms around her brother with so much force that Harry staggers backward a few steps.

Harry can’t hold onto the serious expression on his face as she clings to him. His smile explodes when she smacks a loud kiss on his cheek. And just like Louis with his own sisters, he pretends to hate it and wipes it off with a grimace.

“You’re already embarrassing me,” he claims.

“It’s my birthright,” she laughs, hugging him again before stepping back to let Niall have a turn. “I wouldn’t attack you like that if I got to see you more than once a decade.” She smirks and it’s an exact replica of her brother’s smirk when he’s being a little shit.

Louis’ heart rate picks up when she turns to him, her eyes bright and excited when she spots their hands linked between them. Harry’s grip tightens considerably when he catches her looking.

“Uh, Gemma this is Louis, my…my boyfriend.” The word sounds strange leaving Harry’s mouth almost like it’s the first time he’s ever said it; Louis realizes that it probably is. “Louis, this is my sister, Gemma.”

Louis drops Harry’s hand to shake hers instead. She looks so much like Harry that Louis wonders if he would have recognized her before today. “It’s very nice to meet you. Thanks for inviting me along.” She smiles at him with kind eyes making Louis like her already.

“Of course,” Louis nods. “I’m glad I’m finally getting to meet you. Thanks for coming.”

The air around them stays light and easy because as soon as initial introductions are over, Gemma starts talking about things Harry has missed in her and his family’s life since last seeing him. She skillfully includes Niall in the conversation and surprisingly even Louis whenever she can. She brings up their mother and their step-father and all kinds of topics Harry never speaks to him about, and Louis listens hard. He tries to soak up as much information as he can about the people he has never met.

Things are going great until everyone around Louis tenses at the mention of Gemma shopping around in a toy shop to look for some sort of gift. Harry’s whole body goes rigid and Niall’s eyes nervously peek over at Gemma when she brings it up.

Louis honestly didn’t find anything weird about her shopping story until he notices Harry chewing at his lip again, but Gemma doesn’t elaborate anymore about it, and just as quickly as she mentions it, she’s moving on to something else.

Liam and Sophia come to find him when it’s nearly game time. Everyone is introduced again before the two coaches quickly dismiss themselves from the conversation. Louis gets a big hug from Niall and a quick kiss on the back of his hand from Harry for luck. Louis always grins like an idiot every time Harry does that, except this time he flushes as well because Gemma is there to witness the effect her brother has on him.

Before he knows it they’re starting, and Louis gets nervous as his girls take the field across from the other team. They’ve been practicing for months now and even though Liam, Harry, and everyone else on the planet has reminded him that it’s not about who wins, he still wants his girls to do well.

The field is an estrogen-filled frenzy as both teams run around trying to manipulate the ball into a goal. One particularly fast little girl from the opposing team is good at stealing the ball, but like most of them, her aim is so awful that she isn’t a threat. As a whole the game is pretty uneventful considering the halves are shortened and neither team has enough girls to switch any out, but the people there watching all enjoy seeing them have fun running around.

Sparkly eyed parents cheer on their children as they have the time of their lives on the pitch. Even his own mother looks proud from where she’s sitting on the sidelines screaming her head off any time he or one of his sisters runs by.

By the time the second half is almost out Louis has accepted that neither team will ever score. He’s hardly even paying attention anymore when Liam suddenly slaps his arm.

Louis rubs at skin as he whips around to yell at him. “I _am_ paying attention!” he shouts on instinct, because honestly Louis is never paying attention to anything. Liam ignores him, slapping him again to get his attention.

“Shut up and look!” Liam points down the field at Daisy traveling with the ball ahead of everyone else pursuing her, and even though Louis can hardly believe it, she’s actually running towards the _correct_ goal.

“Oh my God,” he breathes. “We’re going to score.”

“She has to make it past the goalie first,” Liam tells him looking just as anxious as Louis. Louis spares a glance at the tiny girl standing in the net as she braces herself in preparation of Daisy’s attempt. She looks terrified.

“She’s going to make it!” Louis is bouncing on the balls of his feet as she edges closer. Daisy gets right up to the line, putting all of her force into a kick that lands the ball right into the corner pocket of the net.

Liam’s eyes are wide and disbelieving. “She made it.”

Louis covers his mouth in shock. “She made it!!! Li. Did we just win a kid match?!” Louis is still bouncing on the tips of his toes.

A smile spreads across Liam’s face when he turns to him “I think we did!”

Louis is hardly breathing as the crowd looks to the parent referee standing in the middle of the field who declares it good.

Time runs out and the crowd erupts into applause. Louis can’t contain himself any longer before he and Liam both rush the field. The girls are all jumping around, excited about their default victory, but there is no one more thrilled than their coaches.

*

It’s much later that night after the celebratory dinner at Louis’ mother’s house that he is still buzzing lying next to Harry in bed. As far as good days go, Louis already had an amazing one, and then out of nowhere Harry decided to lay him down and take care of him as soon as they got to his flat. He was already wired and now that he’s lying there in a post sex haze with Harry he can’t stop talking or smiling.

“Like, I wasn’t even paying attention anymore, Harry, and then out of nowhere she just steals the ball and takes off!! God. I always knew she was my favorite.”

“You’re not supposed to admit that you have favorite siblings. The other ones will get jealous.” Harry laughs at him, pulling him in for another kiss.

Louis melts into his touch. Between winning the game, having everyone’s support, and meeting Harry’s sister, Louis can’t believe today was even real. “I’m so glad Gemma came with Niall. She’s wonderful. I can see why you both love her so much.  And your mother sounds lovely too. Hopefully I’ll get to meet her someday.”

“Yeah…that would be nice,” Harry agrees.

He seems alright at first, but then he starts gnawing on his lip again. Louis drops a kiss to his forehead and pulls him into his chest. He seems more at ease lying against him, but Louis doesn’t understand why Harry is still so anxious about him meeting his family.

“What? What is it?”

“Hmm? Oh it’s nothing,” Harry says too quickly. “Nothing. I know she’ll love you just like Gems, it’s just…” His voice tapers off and he goes completely quiet.

“You can tell me whatever it is,” Louis assures him. He has always told Harry that he can tell him anything in hopes that he’d eventually open up. So far Louis hasn’t gotten much from him. He doesn’t really expect to get anything now until Louis feels him take a deep breath against his skin.

“No matter what?” Harry asks in a small voice. “Even something you may not like?” he whispers.

Harry’s words make something nauseating churn in his stomach. Louis instantly misses the high he was just riding before. He tilts his head down to drop another reassuring kiss on top of Harry’s head. “You can tell me anything, love.” Louis braces himself for whatever it is when Harry pulls back to search his eyes.

Harry leans in to connect their lips instead of saying anything, making Louis breathe a deep sigh of relief; he didn’t even realize he was holding his breath.

“Okay,” Harry whispers before settling back down beside him.

Harry doesn’t say anything else, and once again, Louis doesn’t ask. He doesn’t know what the hell it is that is holding Harry back, but the more Harry dances around it, the more terrified Louis is to find out.

*

It’s a couple of days later when Harry announces out of nowhere that he’s going to go visit his mother. Louis thinks it’s both odd and a bit surprising considering Harry has never once shared his plans with him before, and also because he knows Harry rarely visits the members of his family. Louis would love to be included in the event, but he nods at the information given to him and tells Harry to have a good time with his mum.

Harry disappears again the next night, but doesn’t tell Louis where he’s headed. He wants to assume Harry is going back to see his mum, but he knows that probably isn’t the case since he’s being secretive again.

It’s Sunday when things start feeling normal between them again when Harry suggests that they go to Toscana’s since they haven’t been in a while. Louis can’t agree fast enough, already fantasizing about the food he wants to eat.

They sit at their normal table, with Niall and Erin stopping to chat with them as usual whenever they pass by.

Louis doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary about their date night until Harry looks like he’s going to say something but then stops himself by flagging Niall down as he’s heading back to the kitchen.

“Could you bring me a glass of wine?” he asks. Louis can hear the nerves in his voice but he doesn’t comment.

Niall nods. “Sure. You want red or white?”

“Red?” Harry shrugs, sounding unsure. Louis has never known Harry to drink the whole time he has known him, so he orders a glass too so he isn’t drinking alone.

Niall brings it out to them, and Harry downs his within a few minutes. They keep talking, and eventually Harry asks Niall to bring him another. Louis wonders what the occasion is, but asks for more as well. Harry finishes the second glass faster than the first. He isn’t as fidgety after the alcohol starts to settle in him, but he still can’t seem to say whatever it is he’s thinking.

Niall raises an eyebrow at him when Harry forgoes asking for a third glass of wine and requests the bottle instead.

“Haz, what the hell?” Niall lowers his voice, speaking only to Harry, but Louis can hear the concern in his voice as he places the rest of the wine in front of him.  Niall gives him another look before disappearing off to the kitchen, but Harry ignores it, already pouring himself more wine.

Louis doesn’t like the way Harry is acting, and from the looks of it, Niall knows something is up too. Something’s not right, and although Louis never asks, he feels tonight should be the exception.

“Harry…what’s going on?” he tries softly. Harry’s anxious eyes refuse to meet his, and Louis can feel his stomach churning all over again. “Haz,” he whispers. “You’re scaring me.”

Harry looks at the people around them before finally looking at him. Harry nervously gnaws at his bottom lip. “Can we leave? I need to talk to you, but- but I can’t do it here.”

All Louis can manage is a series of quick nods as they gather their things. They don’t even tell Niall goodbye before leaving.

The car ride is excruciating. Louis doesn’t think either of them has taken a full breath since they left the restaurant, and the fact that they aren’t talking only makes it worse.

They climb the steps in complete silence, and for the first time Louis doesn’t feel the need to fill it as they reach Harry’s door. Harry leads them inside to sit on opposite ends of the couch. Already Louis can feel the nerves pouring off of him.

Minutes pass before Harry says anything at all. “I – uh, I know I’m being weird, and I’m sorry for scaring you, but I have to talk to you about something important.”

Louis nods taking a deep breath of his own. “Okay.”

Harry continues to stare down at the floor as he talks. “I- I know you said I can tell you anything, and I believe you meant it, but we might be over as soon as I say this so before I do I need you to know that- that I love you, Louis.”

The words leave a bitter-sweet taste at the back of Louis’ tongue. If this were any other moment Louis would be euphoric at such a confession from his boyfriend, but right now with the way Harry’s voice is breaking he feels like he could be sick.

“I- I love you too, of course I do,” he breathes, placing a hand on Harry's leg. “Harry, whatever it is can’t be that bad…” Louis wants to believe his own words, but the tears forming in Harry’s eyes make it hard to do.

Harry takes out his phone, wiping at his eyes as he does so. Louis can’t believe he’s thinking about his phone at a time like this.

“Lou, why don’t you ever make me tell you things? Like, why have you never asked about the little girl on my phone?”

Louis shakes his head at the new direction of the conversation. He has wondered about her since the first day he met Harry, but something told him not to press it. Now that they’re both sitting here in tears, he’s glad he never did.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “It was none of my business, I guess. I figured you’d eventually tell me.” He sees the first tear run down Harry’s cheek towards the floor when he takes shaky breath. “Who is she?” Louis isn’t sure if he wants to know any more.

Harry looks like he’d rather be set on fire than answer him, but he does it anyway. “Her name is Calla. She’s my daughter.”

Louis plays the words over and over again in his head until it doesn’t even sound like a real sentence anymore. He doesn’t know how to respond to that so he just sits there, looping it over and over in his mind.

They sit in silence for a long time before Louis says anything. “Niall knows doesn’t he?” Louis asks. His suspicions are confirmed when Harry nods. “And Erin…and your sister?”

He doesn’t even have to look at Harry because he already knows the answer.

“Everyone knows but me. That’s why you were freaking out about her coming to the game. She’s never had to lie for you before.” He can hear Harry start to really cry next to him and it breaks his heart.

Of all the crazy scenarios Louis had imagined, a kid never once crossed his mind. Sitting here now, he realizes how a child really is the most logical explanation for the way Harry closes himself off. Louis was just so happy that he didn’t want to see it.


	11. Harry

Harry watches as Louis’ face displays the emotion of every single thought going through his mind. He doesn’t know how he let things get this far without telling him the truth, and now just as soon as Louis recovers from shock he’s probably going to get up and walk right out of Harry’s life forever.

“How old is she?” he asks, his voice barely a whisper. Harry is surprised to hear Louis speaking to him so calmly, or at all really.

“She’ll be four next month.”

Louis nods and Harry waits for more questions, already prepared to give him honest answers, but he says nothing.

The silence is killing him. “Louis, I am _so_ sorry. Elaine and I, we fucked up when we were younger. I love my daughter, I swear that I do, but I can’t change the past and it’s just… I fucked up before I even met you, Lou. I just didn’t know how to tell you that. I’m sorry.”

He can’t tell what Louis is thinking by the look in his eyes. An apology seemed like something Louis deserved, but he still looks just as hurt after Harry gives it.

“I don’t want you to apologize for your child, Harry. Everyone has done stupid things or fucked up in the past, but lying to me isn’t something you did four years ago when you had a kid. Lying to me is something you’ve been doing since the day we met. _That’s_ what you should be saying sorry for.”

It stings to hear, but he’s right. Harry has had plenty of opportunities to come clean about the parts of his life he chooses to keep private, but somehow he just couldn’t do it. His daughter and love life had always been separate. He didn’t realize Louis would be the one to change all of that.

“I didn’t mean to lie to you. When we met I didn’t know we’d become _this_.” Louis being the one for him was a twist he never anticipated, and now he has hurt Louis so badly that he may never see him again after tonight. “I didn’t think I’d ever have to tell you because I figured you’d be gone before it mattered.  I would’ve told you if I’d known we’d be together. I just…I didn’t know.”

It’s quiet again, and Harry is still having trouble determining where they stand. Louis seems almost ready to let it all go after his little speech, but then he sighs again, holding his head almost like it’s aching from so much information at once. “Everyone else has been lying too. They all knew and didn’t say a word.”

“Louis, they just did exactly what I’ve always asked them to do. They know better by now than to bring her up around people because I…because…” Harry hates the shit explanation he has to give. Who the fuck hates to talk about their own daughter? Calla is the best part of him. He should talk about her every single day. Harry just chooses not to.

His excuse doesn’t seem to satisfy Louis. “But why now, Harry? After all this time? I don’t understand how you’re only telling me this now.”

“I don’t know Louis, because I-” Harry doesn’t know where to begin. He needs Louis to know about everything. He wants Louis to be a part of his life. Harry doesn’t have the words to explain, so he says the first honest thing he feels.  “Because I love you.”

Louis looks at him like he wants to believe him. He looks like he may even want to say it back when he gently places a hand on Harry leg with a heavy sigh. “You don’t lie to people you love, Haz.”

Harry wants to tell him that’s a lie right there. Sometimes people _do_ lie to people they love, even if it’s unintentional. Harry lies to his loved ones all the time. No one knows that better than the people closest to him.

It’s quiet for another long stretch and then suddenly Louis is moving to stand. Harry’s chest tightens at the sound of his car keys jingling in his hand. “W-Wait, Lou. Don’t.” Harry stands too in a desperate attempt to keep Louis there. His breath catches in his throat when Louis steps forward to press a long kiss to his cheek.

“I just need a minute or two…” He tries to give Harry some sort of a smile when he looks at him but it’s too full of emotion to be comforting. “I’m leaving you for a bit, but I’m not _leaving_ you. Is that okay?” He makes sure Harry is looking at him and understands what he means before he backs away. “I’ll be back. I just – give me a minute?”

Louis waits there in the door until Harry gives him the okay to go. He walks out, letting the door close behind him, and Harry wonders what it would be like if this were the last time he ever saw him. He’s aware of every second that passes without Louis’ return, and soon it has been over five minutes since he left. The tears are back in an instant, and soon he’s reaching for his phone as he paces around his living room.

He calls Niall repeatedly but all he gets is his voicemail. Harry checks the time, realizing Niall is still busy at work so he dials Gemma instead. She doesn’t answer him either, and now Harry can feel his chest rising and falling in panic. He tries his mother in a final attempt to talk to someone and just when he’s about to hang up, he hears her voice on the other end.

“Harry!” she answers brightly. “I get a visit and a phone call all in one week?” she laughs. “You’re going to spoil me if you keep this up.” Harry sniffles into the phone and her tone changes to alarm in an instant. “What’s wrong?”

“I told him,” he sobs as new tears roll down his cheeks.

“Oh, Harry…” She talks softly, almost like she’s afraid to hear the rest. “What happened? What did he say?” Harry went to see his mother a few days ago when he made up his mind to let Louis in. He thought telling Anne about the man he loves would be about as scary as telling her he was going to be a father, but just like all those years ago when Harry came to her in tears, Anne accepted him with open arms. Things had gone so well with his mother that Harry gathered the courage to tell Elaine as well, however it might have all been for nothing if Louis decides he isn’t worth it.

“I don’t know. He’s upset that I lied to him. He said he needed a minute to think so he just got up and left and I don’t know if he’s coming back. I mean, he said he would but…” Harry’s voice breaks over the phone as reality hits him. “What if he doesn’t, Mum?”

She sighs into the phone. “Harry, I understand why you hadn’t told him about Calla, and it doesn’t make it right, but I’m sure Louis understands why you hadn’t either.” Harry isn’t so sure. Louis really just seemed focused on the part where his boyfriend has been dishonest with him for months. “Did you at least tell him how you feel about him?” she asks.

“Yeah.”

He can hear Anne take a deep breath. “And…what did he say?”

A small flicker of a smile lights up his face. “He said he loves me too.”

Anne sounds relived on the other end.

“Then he’ll be back, love. Let him sort through everything. Give him a moment and he’ll be there for you.”

“How do you know?” She sounds so certain. Harry wishes he had some of her confidence about the situation.

“Because if it were reversed, you would come back for him.” When she puts it like that, Harry can almost believe it. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

Harry can’t wait for her to either. Louis just has to come back first.

*

Louis’ promise of a minute or two ends up stretching out to over half an hour, but considering all the shit Harry just unleashed onto their relationship he doesn’t think he has room to criticize about punctuality.

Harry tenses when he hears Louis’ soft knocking at the door. He opens it wide enough for Louis to step through, and feels relief wash over him when he notices Louis’ eyes are a bit brighter than they were when he left.

“Hey,” he says, standing in the doorway. Louis’ eyes don’t quite know where to settle so they dance around the room instead.

Harry’s response is immediate. “Hi.”

Louis fights the grin, but it stretches across his face anyway as he rolls his eyes. “We’re both so eloquent,” he tries to joke. Harry hardly believes it when Louis steps forward and links their hands together. “Sorry I took so long.”

“It’s okay.” Harry shrugs, not wanting Louis to know how devastated he had been. He honestly doesn’t know what he would have done if Louis needed _more_ time, but he looks so sincere in his apology that Harry immediately accepts it. He’s just glad he came back at all.

They stand there in silence trying to figure out how to proceed. Louis takes the lead as usual. “We should probably sit down…talk for a while?”

Harry nods, letting Louis lead him to the couch. He already feels a million times better when Louis sits down, only leaving a bit of space between them. “So….” Harry pauses, not sure what they’re supposed to be chatting about or how to bring it up. “Did you, uh, have a nice drive?” He hears the soft laugh Louis breathes at his random question. Harry can’t help but cringe at how bad he is at this.

“My drive was…interesting,” Louis finally decides on. “I talked to Liam and I talked to my Mum. The whole time I was gone I just wanted to talk to you, though.” When Harry glances over to meet his eyes he wants nothing more than to kiss him. “Isn’t that funny? I left thinking I was so mad at you only to realize that I’m not.”

New tears start to well up in Harry’s eyes, but only because he’s so relieved. “Louis, I am so sorry I told you like that. I should’ve done that months ago. I understand if you’re upset with me.” Louis _should_ be upset with him.

“The constant lying thing was- that’s going to take some time for me to forget.” He squeezes Harry’s hand, angling his body to face him. “But I get it, kind of. I know you weren’t doing it to be hurtful. You were just trying to protect your daughter.” Harry isn’t sure if there’s a lot of truth to the conclusions Louis has drawn. He tells himself he’s protecting Calla when he doesn’t get too close to her or when he lets both Elaine and Christopher fill his shoes. Really Harry is just being a shit father. “I can’t blame you for protecting … _Calla_ , right?”

Her name sounds so strange coming from Louis’ mouth. “Yeah, her name is Calla,” Harry confirms.

“Like the lily,” Louis smiles. “Like the one on your side.”

Harry got that tattoo a few weeks after she was born. It has been etched into his skin so long that he sometimes forgets it’s even there. He has caught Louis eyeing it a few times, probably wondering why it’s the only splash of color amongst the other random things permanently inked onto his body.

“Well,” Louis squeezes his hand again. “I’d love to meet Calla one day because she has to be amazing just like her dad.”

The flattery makes his stomach unleash a swarm of butterflies, but also a feeling of deep anxiety. He only just told Elaine about Louis a couple of days ago, and less than an hour has passed since he told Louis about Calla. Things are moving too quickly for his taste, but he can’t say no when Louis’ eyes look so hopeful.

“I’d love to introduce you and Calla,” Harry’s cheek is warm where Louis presses a premature thank you kiss. “But I think there’s someone else you should probably meet first.” Louis pulls back with a startled expression.

“Y-You have more than one?”

Louis eyes are huge, and Harry laughs for the first time in hours. His stomach actually hurts from how hard he’s cackling at Louis’ face.

“I’m barely holding it together with just Calla and you think I have another?”

Louis laughs with him, making an offended sound when Harry’s done teasing him. “Well I didn’t expect you to have the one kid, so you very well could have had more.” He scoffs when Harry laughs at him again. “Don’t act so smug because if I remember correctly, you once thought I was a dad of _eight_. With _Liam_.”

Louis gags into the air just like he did the day they first met, but he has a point, so Harry stifles his amusement, though he can’t wipe the grin off his face.

“Do you remember that day I went to see my mum?” Louis nods, his face more serious now as he recalls the day. “Well, I did go visit her… but I only went so I could tell her about you.”

Louis looks shocked. “You- you did?”

“She says she can’t wait to meet you.”

“She did?”  Harry isn’t expecting it when Louis forgoes kissing his cheek again and pulls him in for a kiss that leaves Harry breathless against him. He feels those butterflies stirring around again, when Louis pulls back to look at him like the best thing he’s ever seen.

“So…is that a yes?” Harry asks with a smile.

“That’s a thank you,” he says.


	12. Louis

Louis finds that having your boyfriend choose to suddenly throw your entire lives into turmoil by divulging his deepest, innermost secrets can really test how well a person is at reassuring others that absolutely everything is fine.

Sure, he left Harry sitting on a couch all by himself that night while he drove around the city having a mini panic attack behind the wheel of his car, but the important thing is that they resolved all that and now Louis knows the whole truth, so really, things couldn’t be better between them.

Jay was upset finding out about Harry keeping something so huge away from her baby, but her anger drained away once she witnessed Louis still speaking about Harry with a million stars glinting in his eyes. Although she didn’t appreciate the deceit, she was still able to get over it after a few hours of listening to Louis go on and on about getting the chance to finally meet Harry’s family. Louis had hoped for a similar outcome with his best friend seeing as how his mother is pretty much the most protective person he’s ever met, but Jay’s wrath was nothing compared to Liam’s stubbornness.

“Let’s hope he’s telling the truth about even having a mother. It wouldn’t be the first lie he’s told.”

Louis sighs, rolling his eyes for the hundredth time since they’ve been on the phone. “Li, that literally makes _no_ sense.”

“What? I’m just saying he could be making her up. He _does_ do that from time to time,” he defends.

For the past three days Louis has had to listen to Liam’s ridiculously long list of things Harry could have potentially lied about, and so far Louis has dispelled every single one, yet somehow Liam remains unconvinced. “He has a mother, Liam. You met Gemma just like everyone else and she brought Anne and Harry’s step-dad up like a billion times. Niall has known her as long as he has known Harry. _Clearly_ she exists.”

“Right.” Liam says flatly. “If she exists then why is Harry being so weird and jittery about you meeting her? There’s clearly something going on there.”

“I’m the first person he’s ever brought home to meet _anybody_.” Honestly, Louis would be more concerned if Harry wasn’t acting a bit strange. “Cut him some slack, Li. He’s nervous just like you were when you did this with Sophia.”

Liam’s quiet as he contemplates Louis’ reasoning. “I wasn’t nervous with Sophia’s mum,” he mutters.

Louis scoffs, remembering Liam being so nervous that he almost called Sophia to cancel. “Mate, you were a fucking mess. You can’t judge Harry when you were just as ridiculous. You may have even been worse,” Louis points out. Neither of them says anything for a long stretch as Liam thinks on it.

“Alright fine. He can be nervous today, but if it turns out he has more bloody secrets I’m going to be forced to say I told you so.” He’s using that tone he puts on when he wants to come off as stern, but Louis knows he’d never say I told you so…he’d tell Louis he’s a fucking idiot, but never I told you so.

“Yeah, yeah. Look, are you finished ranting? I need to get dressed and you’re distracting me.”

He knows Liam would probably do something very severe to him if he were there, like give him a well-deserved scowl. “Whatever. Shut up and go meet your boyfriend’s fake mother. Call me after,” he demands.

After they’ve hung up Louis stands in the mirror, just like he has been for the past half hour, however it only takes another thirty seconds for Louis to cave and pull out his phone to ask for some much needed assistance.

‘ _What are you wearing?’_

He looks over his choice of shirts again, silently hating himself for not buying something new for such an important day. He rushes to read Harry’s message when it comes through.

Harry: ‘ _Idk_. _Shirt and jeans…normal stuff?’_ Louis nods, feeling better now that he knows Harry isn’t dressing up, but he gets another text right after the first that makes his face screw up in amusement. _‘Wait. Are you asking for real or is this a sexting thing? If that’s the case then I’m not wearing anything. Sorry._ ’ Louis covers his mouth to stifle his laugh. Harry’s nerves must really be getting to him.

Louis has to collect himself before replying, thankful that he was honestly just curious about Harry’s outfit and not trying to get off, because only Harry would try to seamlessly blend an apology into a mental image of his naked body.

_‘You know how I love it when you’re wearing nothing, love, but I did actually mean for later at your mum’s.’_

Harry: ‘ _Oh._ _Normal stuff, then.’_ Louis is already expecting the accompanying message before it comes. _‘SorryXx’_

*

He teases Harry as soon as he opens the door.

“I half expected you to be naked and draped over the couch.” Louis’ wide smirk doesn’t receive one in return, but he does get a nervous chuckle and a pair of green eyes that don’t quite know where to settle. Louis leans forward to kiss his cheek, hoping he’ll calm down at least a little bit.

“Are you ready?” Harry asks, still looking unsure.

“Yep, whenever you are.”

“Okay.” Harry nods mostly to himself. “Lou, are you kind of scared that we’re doing this, or is that just me?”

Louis’ nerves are thrumming through his veins so much so that his heart is pounding against his chest. He has done the whole meet the parents thing a couple times in the past, but none of those situations ever mattered. Harry and Anne matter. They’re different. He just can’t let Harry see him freaking out about it.

He reaches out to squeeze Harry’s hand in reassurance. “I’m nervous too, Haz. Don’t worry. Everything’s going to be okay,” he smiles.

The drive is quiet except for Harry directing him where to turn and the soft music playing from the radio. When they arrive, the pair of them stare up at the house just like before when it was Louis bringing Harry home to meet Jay. If it were up to Harry, they’d probably never go inside, so after a few seconds of just sitting and gawking, Louis makes the first move to get out of the car.

They reach the door and it takes Harry a moment to work up the courage to actually knock. His fist makes three loud taps on the door, and he lets out a long even breath as he waits for someone to answer.

A few seconds pass before they can hear someone fiddling with the handle on the other side of the door, and then suddenly Anne (Harry’s actual real-life mother and not a fake or some actress he has paid) answers, pulling in her son for a tight embrace.

Louis can tell that having Harry there in the flesh is a rare occasion from how long she holds him there. Jay hardly even bats an eye anymore when Louis comes over, mostly due to the fact that he’s always there. He can’t imagine going more than a few days without seeing his family. He doesn’t understand how Harry does it.

When they let go, Harry clears his throat and suddenly Louis can feel himself become the center of attention.

“Mum, this is Louis,” Harry says, stepping aside so she can shake his hand.

Louis gives her a quick wave, as she steps forward with a nervous expression all her own. That alone makes Louis feels a hundred times better, because if they’re all anxious meeting each other, then that’s already something they have in common. “It’s nice to meet you,” he tells her.

“I’m Anne. Come on in.” Her eyes are kind and genuine as she invites them inside.

She leads them through the entranceway, Louis’ eyes taking in the different framed photographs on the walls as they walk. There are individual ones of both Gemma and Harry throughout the years, and a couple of them posing and playing together. He sees a few of the whole family, all of them looking much younger, wearing clothing he hopes they’ve all burned by now, and then right there between a picture of Anne on her wedding day and Gemma at graduation is a framed collage of Calla doing everything from pretend cooking to sleeping; every moment of her life seems to be documented in one spot.

Louis doesn’t even realize he has stopped in front of it when Anne comes to stand beside him. “I started putting all of these together a few days after she was born,” she laughs to herself. “I probably take a hundred pictures of her each time I see her.”

“And she’s only three. You’re going to need a bigger wall,” Louis jokes.

“My husband says the same thing.” She peeks back at Harry waiting over by the kitchen door then turns to Louis with her voice lowered. “No one knows I’ve started two more collages upstairs.” Louis laughs with her as he watches Harry’s eyebrows form a crease at being left out of the joke.

When they sit down everyone starts busying themselves with the snacks in the center of the table. Louis is perfectly fine with stuffing food into his mouth as a distraction, until Anne turns to him and Harry with apologetic eyes. “There were more snacks out but Gemma and Niall came over a little while ago. You know how that is,” she rolls her eyes.

“Oh. I didn’t know Niall was here earlier.” Harry sounds a little hurt being left out of the loop.

“They always claim they’re coming to visit me and Robin, but we all know they’re really just looking for free food,” she giggles. “I let them think I don’t know any better, especially Niall. Since he’s the professional I think _we_ should be eating everything in _his_ house.”

Louis decides to include himself in the conversation. “Did Niall come ask for your blessing after he and Gemma made it official or did you let it slide since you’ve known him so long?”

“Oh he tried to get out of it, but Robin made him sit through an hour long dinner where he grilled him about his intentions with his step-daughter. I’m sure he was more nervous than you are right now. Robin can be quite intimidating when he wants to be,” she grins. Louis snorts a laugh picturing Niall sitting right where he is, sweating bullets as he tries to explain how he suddenly realized he was in love with Harry’s sister. Louis is glad he doesn’t have to go through that today. “Don’t worry. Robin should be back in a few minutes and then you can have you very own line of questioning.”

Louis gives her a nervous laugh, feeling a new wave of nerves roll over him. Anne changes the subject before he can obsess over it.

“I hear about Gemma and Niall so much that I’m sick of hearing about Gemma and Niall.” She reaches over the table, quickly squeezing Louis’ hand. “There has never been anyone special enough who Harry wanted to bring around. I want to hear about _you_.”

He chances a quick look at Harry, noticing how red his cheeks have flushed at his mother’s words, and then looks to Anne, seeing her contained excitement at having Louis there in her kitchen next to her son. Louis was so focused on his own building anxiety that he almost forgot this whole experience is completely new territory for both of them.

“Okay,” Louis takes a deep breath, praying to God he doesn’t fuck up. “What do you want to know?”

Anne sits back, her eyes following the path of Louis’ hand as he links his fingers with Harry’s on the table.  She smiles to herself, watching Harry’s expression relax at the touch. “Tell me everything.”

*

Louis is just picking up all the items of clothing thrown around his bedroom when he hears an impatient knocking at his front door. He sighs, letting the pair of black jeans he was holding fall right back to the floor when he goes to answer it.

He knows it’s Liam, already defending himself as he steps inside.

“I literally just walked through the door from dropping Harry at his flat. I was going to call you in like five minutes, I swear, I just got distracted with cleaning up.”

Liam gives him a flat face that says Louis is full of shit. “I figured you wouldn’t remember, but that’s alright, because now I can hear it all in person.” He flops down on Louis’ couch, patting the cushion beside his. “Come on, let’s hear it. Anne Styles, real or fake?”

“Okay so she’s very much real,” Louis looks at him like he’s an idiot when Liam actually looks surprised by this fact. “Actually they could be twins, they look so much alike.” Liam huffs a breath, seeming to accept this new information.

“Fine. So he was _probably_ telling the truth about his mum.”

Louis lets the sarcasm drip all over his response. “Yeah. _Probably_.”

“So…” Liam clears his throat. “Other than all that did everything…you know, how was it? Was it awkward?”

“No, not at all,” Louis smiles to himself. “We talked for a long time about all kinds of things. I could tell she was really happy to see Harry so happy, or at all really. He doesn’t come around much, so she enjoyed having him there. His step-father showed up to scare the shit out of me, which, looking back he was completely successful.” Louis smirks, thinking back to Robin’s unsubtle threat to end him should he hurt his step-son. “It was nice. I think we all like each other and we’re all on the same page when it comes to making Harry happy, so all in all I think it went really well.”

Even though he’s still angry at Harry for lying to him, Liam gives him a quick hug. “I’m glad it’s all working out, Lou. I know you were worried for a while there.” Louis runs a hand through his hair, thinking back to a month ago when Harry wouldn’t even speak to him about the members of his family, and now Louis has met everyone, well, almost everyone.

Liam messes with a loose string coming from one of the pillows. He keeps taking a breath like he wants to say something. Louis already knows exactly what it is. “Sunday,” Louis answers, without Liam having to ask a thing.

“Wow. That’s really soon,” he comments.

“Yeah….that’s the day he and Elaine picked, so…” That day seems to be getting closer and closer the more Louis tries to convince himself that it’s not a big deal. Before, he wanted nothing more than to meet Calla and now the mere thought of it makes him feel lightheaded.

He can see Liam eyeing him out of the corner of his eye. “Lou. What’s wrong?

“I’m fine,” Louis lies. “I- uh, I can’t wait. Sunday will be absolutely _fine_.”

“You look awful,” Liam points out. And, yes what a great friend Louis has. There’s no one who can point out the fucking obvious quite like Li.

“I’m just a little nervous.”

“Louis, you just met his parents and everything turned out great. You’ll do the same thing on Sunday. There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

That’s where Liam is wrong, because sure Louis is experienced with charming parents and siblings of his boyfriends, but the mother of his child and his daughter? That’s something Louis never even considered a few days ago, simply because he didn’t know either of them existed until then. “I’ve never dated someone with kids before. I don’t want to fuck it up.”

Liam’s eyes are loaded with a million questions he wants to ask about that. Louis can’t blame him when he asked the very same ones that night he drove around the city like a crazy person trying to figure out how the hell he was going to pull off being a step-father to a child he has never met. Thankfully, Liam doesn’t bring any of that up when he smiles at him. “Kids love you, Louis. You’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” Louis nods. “I’m sure it’ll all be alright.”

*

Nothing is alright when he wakes up from a sleepless night on Sunday morning and he can feel his head pounding against his skull. He spends most of the morning waiting for his migraine to subside long enough to get up and get dressed.

Neither he nor Harry texts the other good morning, which Louis takes as confirmation that Harry is probably somewhere in his flat across town, his stomach twisted with just as much anxiety. When it’s past noon and Louis can’t stand being by himself any longer, he drives over to his mother’s house for a distraction. He nearly weeps when he gets there and all the girls are out shopping, leaving Jay’s house just as quiet and maddening as his own flat.

After a while of coaxing Louis to talk, Jay finally gets him to open up about what’s bothering him, and that’s when a whole flood of confessions come pouring out of his mouth about how truly scared he is that this won’t work. She lets him cry about it for five minutes before saying something so simple and insightful that he has been repeating in his head ever since. “Being with someone is hard work no matter what the circumstances are. A little girl isn’t going to make much difference if you love each other, Lou.”

He hangs onto her words when he takes a deep breath, putting on the most reassuring smile he can muster as he knocks on Harry’s door, because as crazy as Louis has been feeling all day, he’s sure Harry’s nerves have been a hundred times worse.

His suspicions are confirmed when Harry answers the door with wide, worried eyes. His hair is a mess. He has probably been running his fingers through it all day.

Louis doesn’t even give Harry much of a greeting, opting instead for a sweet kiss. It causes Harry to relax against him, he’s eyes less anxious when he pulls away.

“Everything will be fine,” Louis tells him, making sure his face conveys every word, even though Louis isn’t too convinced himself. Harry inhales, slow and deep.

“I texted Elaine. I said we’d be there in a few minutes, so.”

Louis looks down at the time. Fifteen minutes until six. Something flops around in his stomach at the realization of how close they’re getting. “Well,” he breathes. “We should get going. We don’t want to be late.”

Once again, Louis follows Harry’s directions as they drive back across the city. Louis lifts an eyebrow when they stop at a little house just a few minutes away from his own flat. From the car it looks like any other home lining the street, except Louis knows a little girl who looks just like Harry is inside waiting to see them. He puts the car in park, but instead of hopping out and dashing up to the door like he did at Anne’s Louis waits patiently for Harry to make the first move.

They’ve been sitting there for a couple of minutes when he hears Harry take a deep breath next to him. “We don’t have to do this tonight if you don’t want to.” Harry’s eyes are sad when they meet his. “I’d understand if you needed more time.”

Louis appreciates his concern, but more time waiting around is only going to drive them both insane. “I’m ready to do this.” Louis squeezes his hand when Harry’s eyes travel to the front door of the house. “We don’t have to go in until you’re ready.”

It takes another couple of minutes for Harry to get himself together enough to at least step out of the car. Louis follows behind when he finally starts walking towards the front door.

It’s quiet inside from what Louis can tell when Harry knocks with a shaky fist. Louis is hardly breathing as someone’s light footsteps become louder as they approach the door. It creaks open just when Louis decides that maybe Harry’s suggestion of waiting a little while longer wasn’t actually a bad idea, but then a woman is standing before him with beautiful dark hair falling down around her shoulders and an expression he can’t quite read.

Louis had been so concerned about screwing things up with Calla that he hadn’t really given much thought to what Elaine would think of him, but he’s reassured when she steps aside with kind, brown eyes to invite them inside.

She offers Harry a quick hello before turning to Louis, taking a deep breath of her own as she takes him in.

“Elaine, this is my boyfriend Louis. Louis this is Elaine…” Harry pauses for moment, his eyebrows scrunched together as he works to come up with an appropriate title for her. “This is Calla’s mum.”

He shakes her hand, explaining how nice it is to meet her. They stand there in silence afterwards, none of them quite sure what to say.

Elaine speaks first, trying to make the atmosphere less tense. “She’s been talking about you visiting all day long, you know,” she says with a grin.

Louis peeks over at Harry looking torn between sadness and a small smile tugging at his lips. “I missed her too. I know you all have things to do. We won’t stay too long,” he promises.

“You’re not staying for dinner again?” She sounds almost hurt. “I mean you don’t have to of course,” she quickly adds to hide her disappointment. “I just thought since you had been here so much lately and since Louis is here too…” It’s obvious that she was more than counting on them staying.

“I’d like to stay if it’s okay with you,” Louis smiles at Harry.

He seems to think it over for a few seconds before agreeing, watching both his and Elaine’s face to help him decide if it’s a good idea or not.

“Okay, Lou. We’ll stay. Calla would really like that.” His smile is tight when he smiles back at Louis. The tension in his expression is clear. Louis would really like to kiss him or least squeeze his hand. He refrains from doing so in case it doesn’t go over too well in Elaine’s house.

Elaine looks relieved at Harry’s answer, smiling to herself like getting them to stay is a giant win, and Louis guesses that for her it is.

There isn’t much small talk happening after they’ve cemented their plans, so Harry suggests they go find Calla.

Elaine leads them down the corridor of the house as she talks about dinner, and Louis can feel his heart in his throat the closer they get to the bedroom at the end of the hall. He crosses his arms over his chest in lieu of grabbing Harry’s hand, and before he knows it, Elaine is pushing open the door, revealing a tiny bed and an array of toys and stuffed animals surrounding it like a fortress.

There’s a man standing in the center of the room rather than the little girl Louis expected. Elaine introduces him as her boyfriend, Christopher. They all exchange greetings and introductions.

“She’s in here. She heard Harry coming and decided to _hide_ ,” he whispers fondly, walking towards Elaine still standing in the door. “Good luck finding _such_ a good hider,” he says a lot louder than before.

Harry nods, clearing his throat. “I wonder where in the world Calla could be at this hour,” he says looking around the room. Elaine and Chris leave when they all hear a tiny giggle come from under the bed. Harry makes a show of stomping around to look behind the door and beside all of the furniture in the room. He saves the bed for last even though it’s obvious she’s under there.

He gets down on his stomach, announcing that there’s only one other place a little girl could hide as he peeks underneath.

“There you are!” he exclaims. She lets out an ear-splitting squeal when he spots her, reaching for her arm to help her crawl out. He swings her up on his hip when she’s free, and Louis’ heart melts all over the floor at how beautiful they both are with their heads throw back in laughter as Harry tickles her sides.

She’s gorgeous and she looks even more like Harry in person than in any photo he’s seen. Her hair is just as curly and her smile just as wide. He can see bits of Elaine in her face, but no one could deny her resemblance to her father.

Louis’ heart is hammering against his chest when Harry gently places her down. Her cheeks pink from laughing so hard.

Harry stoops down to her level when she looks up at Louis standing there in awe. “Calla, I want you to meet someone really important.” She’s still watching Louis, clearly trying to figure out why he is there. “This is Louis. He’s really excited to meet you, love.”

Louis crouches down too, his pulse rabbiting from Harry’s little introduction. “Hello, Calla. It’s very nice to meet you.” He reaches out to shake her hand and she bites down on a familiar grin. Harry gives him a smile of encouragement when she’s still watching him curiously. “I am _really_ impressed by your bedroom. There are so many kinds of animals in here. Where on Earth did you get them all?”

Her eyes light up at the mention of her toys, and Louis can’t believe how similar the shade of green is to her father’s. “I just got a new one!” she tells him. She looks back at her dad to make sure it’s alright before bravely taking Louis’ hand. She pulls him with her to the floor as she talks. “I went shopping with Grandma and we found this…” She shows him the little grey elephant, placing it in the palm of his hand to inspect. “I have another one. I showed it to Daddy last time,” she explains as she starts searching for it.

Louis’ eyes only leave her for a second, finding Harry silently watching them from across the room. He can’t really tell what he’s thinking when they grin at each other, but Louis is sure he has never seen a look so proud in Harry’s eyes.

When Louis turns back, Calla is shoving a much larger elephant into his lap. He widens his eyes when Calla tells him it’s one of the largest animals she owns. “Wow!” he gasps. “I think this elephant is almost as big as your dad’s head,” he jokes.

Louis doesn’t have much experience with meeting three year olds, but he’s pretty sure he’s on the right track when she giggles out loud, looking back at Harry’s head to check its size, and just like Louis guessed, Harry is clutching at his stomach cackling with his hair falling into his face.

Louis takes it as a win.

He never gave much thought to having children someday in the future, but laughing with the two of them in Calla’s bedroom gives him a taste of what his life could be like one day. He isn’t sure of what will happen months or even years from now, but ending up with Harry and Calla at his side seems like a good fantasy to hold onto until then.


	13. Harry

Harry never could quite explain what it was about Elaine that made him gravitate towards her. Years have passed since they were in school together, and Harry still has trouble understanding it.

For as long as Harry can remember, girls have always liked him. They would whisper about how cute he was, or would annoy his closest friends by fishing around for information about him or who he was interested in. They would try to win him over, smiling and waving much too enthusiastically whenever Harry walked by. At the time Harry had only ever kissed a few girls whenever he had to or after he’d been drinking with his mates, but no one else seemed to catch on to that. Harry let people believe what they wanted.

The rumors about the multiple girls were all wrong of course. Harry had never so much as groped a girl through her shirt, and after years of never feeling the way his friends felt about girls, Harry had slowly started to catch onto why. He never said it out loud, never voiced it, and even though he had thought about it a lot, he never tried anything with a boy from fear of what others would think. He knew something wasn’t quite right, but he wasn’t too keen on giving that something a name, so he ignored it the best he could.

Pretending to not notice this very important piece of himself didn’t bother him as much as it should have, and actually, it mattered a lot less that one afternoon in one of his English courses where he found himself more interested in watching Elaine mindlessly doodle in her notebook than in what his teacher was droning on about.

She was sitting one seat ahead of him in the row right next to his. He had seen her there plenty of times before, but her long dark hair was always in the way, blocking his current view of the random things being drawn in her notes as she listened to music from one of her earbuds. Her hair was up that day, slightly exposing the concentration on her face as she drew tiny tea cups and little stick men with lightbulbs over their heads in the margins, her foot softly tapping to the beat of whatever song she was playing.

He remembers thinking she was beautiful and also very smart when the teacher asked someone to describe the four examples of imagery from the homework and no one was brave enough to answer except her. Harry thought she hadn’t been paying a bit of attention before she started talking, but the more he listened to her the more he realized she was easily the most intelligent person in the room. He also realized she was the most perceptive person in the room when she finished giving her answer and turned around much too quickly for Harry to pretend he wasn’t staring. Startled, he attempted to look like he was doing something else, _anything_ else, but the soft grin on Elaine’s lips confirmed that he had been caught. He whispered an apology, but his grin was just as noticeable as hers so he figured she didn’t mind too much.

She grinned at him again when class was over and again the next day when they passed each other at the door. Usually Harry would try to brush off that kind of attention, but it was different with Elaine. She wasn’t loud about it, her smile was soft and kind, and for some reason Harry really wanted to know what kind of music she was listening to during class when everyone else was trying not to fall asleep. He felt genuine interest towards her. He wasn’t sure of what it meant or if it meant anything at all, but he was sure that he wanted to know more about her.

***

Now, glancing around the dinner table leaves Harry in a state of near delirium each time he does it, because he still can’t believe his eyes and ears, or that he’s actually here in this moment where everyone is having a good time. Christopher is as relaxed as always, sitting at the head of the table, smiling, seeming to really enjoy everyone’s company, and Elaine makes such an effort to keep the conversation up and make everyone feel comfortable that she’s wearing that almost magical kind of smile that Harry thought she’d never wear around him again.

They all laugh in unison as the main reason for so much positive change retells the story of how he and Liam coached their team to victory in a grid-lock game of 1-0. Harry and everyone else has been absolutely captivated by him since they arrived. Calla, the person whose opinion matters most, hasn’t taken her curious eyes off of Louis since they met, not that Harry can blame her because he has been shamelessly gawking as well at how comfortable he seems when just hours ago he looked ready to faint from nerves.

When Louis has finished recounting his tale of triumph, he extends an invitation for all of them to come see the next game the girls play.

“I can’t promise that we’ll actually score another point during the last thirty seconds or anything, but we’ll take all the support we can get,” he jokes. Louis looks up, briefly meeting Harry’s eyes from across the table, checking if the invite is alright with an unsure expression. He beams when Harry nods, also inviting them to come watch.

“That’s right. They can’t win without the world’s best cheerleader there to support them!” Harry tickles Calla’s sides, making her giggle and beg Elaine to say yes.

Elaine blinks unbelievably around the table like she’s having trouble believing this is all real too, but she agrees after Calla hits her with several long, drawn out pretty pretty please’s. “Okay, okay!” she laughs. “We’ll go watch. Louis, just let us know when so we can be sure to be there?” Calla cheers in her seat when she finally caves. Everyone seems happy to have an actual plan set in place.

Harry never thought he’d see the day where at least one of the people at the table isn’t angry or disappointed, so it’s like some weird, surreal dream world when Calla, Louis, and Elaine all fix him with equal looks of excitement.

The conversation rolls on after that, and Christopher gives him an encouraging smile from his spot at the head of the table. Harry is more relaxed after that little boost, because if Chris thinks the night is going well, then they really must be doing alright.

*

No one realizes how late it has gotten until they notice Calla with her head resting against the back of her chair, her eyes only half open as she tries to stay awake amongst the excitement.

Elaine tries not to laugh when her head starts tipping each time she drops off, only to wake up again a few seconds later. She gets up, coming around to Calla’s seat. “Hey, love. Are you getting kind of sleepy?”

Calla’s mouth stretches into a very large yawn before giving a very definitive, “No,” as an answer. She’s stubborn, making an effort to look more awake, but her eyes are still half-lidded even now that she’s sitting straight up.

“I think you are,” Elaine says, running her fingers through her daughter’s hair. “It’s okay, because everyone else is tired too.” Calla doesn’t seem to believe her at first, but Elaine convinces her by pointing around the table at everyone as they all fake yawn and make declarations of how exhausted they are. Calla sighs when Elaine offers to help her from the table to get ready for bed.  She’s hesitant as she takes her mother’s hand.

“But I don’t want to leave Daddy,” she complains.

Harry’s chest tightens around his heart. “Come here, love,” He holds open his arms to her, holding her tight against his chest. He avoids looking in Louis’ direction as he rocks her. “I’ll be back to visit you again really soon,” he tells her, even though she looks like she only half believes him. Calla being sleepy always makes her a bit clingy, so Harry holds her a few more seconds.

When he finally puts her down she walks over to give Chris a quick hug as well. She’s about to go trotting back over to Elaine when she stops next to Louis, offering him a shy wave.

Harry can’t even explain the warm feeling of pride in his chest when Louis pushes back his chair to reach out and shake her little hand. He always knew Louis was good with children, but seeing him interact with his daughter is doing funny things to his heart. “I am so glad I got to meet you. Do you think it would be okay if I wanted to visit again one day with your dad?”

She nods enthusiastically. Louis breathes a sigh of relief like he expected her to say no.

“Can I still come watch your football game?” she asks, looking back at Elaine like she may have changed her mind already.

“Of course you can! You’re the guest of honor. The game won’t start until you get there.” Louis promises, and Calla’s face lights up.

They all tell her goodnight once Elaine has grabbed her hand again, but she won’t go before hugging Harry one more time. She waves at them all before finally allowing Elaine to take her down the hall towards her room. The room feels kind of empty when she’s gone, and Harry tries not to dwell on the fact that he already misses her.

They manage to clear away most of the dishes before Elaine comes back. She immediately swats Harry and Louis away from doing anything when she rounds the corner, half scolding Chris for letting them help. Harry insists that they at least wash up since she went to so much trouble for them, but Elaine won’t hear of it. She escorts them right to the door without letting him or Louis lift another finger.

“Haz, you’ve done so much by just being here, that I…” she looks lost for words as she tries to finish her sentence. Elaine has spent much of the last three years with a Harry-sized chip on her shoulder. It’s nice to see her looking hopeful rather than bitter towards him. She looks near tears when she smiles. “Thank you so much, Harry. And thank you too,” she turns to Louis. He looks surprised to be included at all. “I realized something was different a few weeks ago and I wasn’t sure why Harry seemed so much happier, so much better, but now I do.”

Her arms move at her sides like she may want to hug them, but she doesn’t do it. Instead she thanks them both again for being there for Calla and giving them such a wonderful evening. She and Chris both wish them a good night as they leave, making Harry and Louis promise to come back as soon as they have the time. Promises aren’t something Harry generally makes, but he says they will try to come back next week.

They make it out and Harry gratefully slides into his seat when Louis unlocks the car.

He lets out a deep breath as soon as the door shuts behind him, feeling the residual anxiety from the night drain away. He leans forward, resting his head in the palm of his hands. He can hear the concern in Louis’ voice when he asks what’s wrong but he can’t answer him, because truly there’s nothing wrong. For once everything is actually right.

He feels silly, but his cheeks are tear-stained when he sits up to meet Louis’ eyes.

“Haz, what’s the matter?” Louis is wearing a small grin. He rubs little comforting circles into Harry’s hand, probably well aware that he is perfectly fine and merely overwhelmed.

Harry is sure he looks like a right mess at the moment, but that doesn’t stop him from reaching across the console to bring their lips together with so much emotion that Louis’ breath catches in his throat as he tries to kiss back. He has no clue how long he holds Louis there, but he knows it’s nowhere near long enough from the way his heart is still fluttering in his chest when he thinks of letting him go. The heavy look Louis gives him when they drift apart instantly propels this moment to the top of the list of perfect nights shared between them.

They don’t push it, letting the air stay charged with whatever it is making Harry want to lean in for a second time.

Eventually Harry gets so antsy that Louis has to start the car. The quiet ride back to Harry’s is heightened with electricity each time Louis rubs his thumb over the soft skin of Harry’s hand where they’re linked together. When they arrive and make it inside his flat, Harry is already expecting the way Louis surges for him, his hands fisted at either side of his hips.

Louis’ mouth is warm everywhere it’s pressed against him as they maneuver through the darkness to land on Harry’s couch, but it doesn’t feel right lying here with Louis after so many other people before him who never mattered at all. He feels weaker with each touch Louis leaves on his skin, but Harry gathers enough presence of mind to guide them to his room instead.

It’s only after Louis has eased him to rest against the pillows that Harry lets the sensation of arousal completely wash over him.

Sex between them didn’t exactly stop after he told Louis the truth about Calla, but they were definitely having less of it as Louis worked to forgive him. Everything since then has felt too careful like Louis hadn’t quite learned how to forget, but tonight Louis isn’t over-thinking, he isn’t trying to forget the lies Harry told, and he isn’t trying to pretend everything is alright, because for right now everything is perfect.

That feeling of invincibility from the night courses through Harry’s veins again when his hands come up around Louis thighs where they’re straddled across his hips. They feel so strong beneath his fingers and once again Harry is hit with the fantasy of feeling Louis working above him. His grip finds its way to his ass, and like always, Harry can’t help it when he squeezes, pulling Louis down to rub against him.

He has thought about it on more than one occasion, the tightness he’d feel if he were ever to push inside. He entertains the thought again when Louis grinds down with his hot mouth rooted to his neck. Harry hasn’t been inside of someone in years, nearly four to be exact, but when he catches the way Louis’ eyelids flutter each time Harry pushes up against him, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like.

He could always do this another time, but there’s still excitement pulsing through him, and although Harry’s last experience with this resulted in his entire world being changed, he wants to try it now with Louis if he’ll let him.

“Can I ask you something?” Harry interrupts the attempt Louis makes to lick into his mouth.

Louis nods, still trying to kiss him, “Yeah, anything,” he says off-handedly. He’s still busy trying to bring their lips together, so Harry has to work to get his words out.

“Do you ever let men fuck you?”

Louis nearly splutters into his mouth when the question registers in his brain. He sits up taking a few measured breaths to get some control to speak. Louis’s eyes aren’t quite meeting Harry’s anymore. “Yeah. A couple of times…”

He sounds more uncomfortable than he looks talking about it. “But you didn’t like it.” Harry figures he must not have judging by the expression on his face.

“No, it’s not that,” Louis shakes his head. “It’s always okay at first, but people tend to get kind of rough with me?” he shrugs like being hurt is just part of it, but Harry knows that isn’t true. Louis has never once gotten rough with him. “After a while it just…it doesn’t feel good anymore. I don’t really know how to explain it. I usually top so it never really comes up.” He doesn’t need to explain. Harry gets it, because Colin would do the same thing to him. “I don’t think you would do that though,” Louis offers, sounding more confident.

And no, Harry _wouldn’t_ do that. He could never hurt Louis. He can’t even imagine it. “We don’t have to. I was just curious.” He sits up enough to pull Louis back down with him. Harry tries to resume kissing him like their whole conversation never happened but Louis isn’t moving with him. He pulls away from him after a few seconds.

“Haz, I know you won’t hurt me. It’ll be different with you.” He sounds so sure. Harry isn’t even sure if he could really pull this off, but his body says differently when he feels Louis shift against him and his imagination goes wild. He only has to think about it one second more before he’s agreeing, promising Louis that they’ll take it slow.

***

Hanging out with Elaine quickly became one his favorite things to do besides hanging out with Niall. She was great in class because like Harry had guessed, she was brilliant, so whenever he felt himself getting behind during lectures she would offer to help him study to bring up his grades. She had the best taste in music, introducing him to things he never would’ve given a chance without Elaine practically shoving her speakers down his ear canals, and best of all, she was just fun to be around.

They laughed all the time, always side by side, and after a while people started to think they were together. They weren’t of course, just really good friends, but no matter what they did or didn’t confirm, people still talked.

Things stayed that way for a long time, until one day they were putting off schoolwork to listen to music in the library. They were laughing because Elaine kept singing at the top of her lungs and then pretending to read when people looked their way. They had gotten more than a couple of bewildered stares after Elaine suddenly started ranting about how rude it is to stare at people who are doing their best  to get an education.

Harry was losing it. He remembers his stomach hurting from trying not to cry, but people were still glaring at the two of them, and right when he thought Elaine was going to resume her obnoxious singing she shocked everyone including Harry by leaning over to kiss him.

It was quick and she was still giggling from the mortified looks on their classmates’ faces when she sat back down in her seat. Harry knew people were still staring and he knew Elaine did it mostly to annoy them, but Harry’s main focus in that moment were Elaine’s lips and how odd he found it that he didn’t mind knowing what they felt or tasted like.

After that day they were still really good friends, except now they were good friends who sometimes kissed when no one was around. It started happening so often that Harry questioned if he really did like girls after all, because he’d kissed some before, but none them made him feel as comfortable as Elaine.

It was that false sense of security that led to them being half naked in the guestroom of Niall’s house one night after a party. They had gotten this far in the past, but Harry could never fully commit to more than a few fingers inside of her before his nerves would send him running in the opposite direction. It took them months just to get to that point, and before long Elaine had started pushing to go further. The thought terrified him of course, but something about Elaine made him feel like he could if he just tried.

That night was an awkward mess and Harry hardly remembers breathing when he finally worked up enough courage to push inside of her, but looking back, it was probably better than a lot of people’s first times considering Harry had no fucking clue what he was doing. They had finally done it. Harry and Elaine were still best friends, only now they were friends who sometimes had sex when the right amount of privacy and alcohol were involved. Harry still felt like something wasn’t right, but he continued to brush off his feelings.

There was one night in particular that Elaine went out with her friends to a party while Harry stayed home watching movies. He was surprised to hear someone knocking on his door, and even more surprised when he found Elaine out on his front steps. He quietly snuck her inside to his bedroom, thinking there was something wrong, but when they sat down she said everything was fine and that she was simply bored at the party and missed him.

Harry laughed at her, flattered that Elaine would ditch her friends for him so he didn’t object when she kissed down his neck, already taking off his clothes as soon as he started kissing back.

Elaine showing up had been unexpected, so he wasn’t surprised when he couldn’t find a condom anywhere. She reassured him that it was fine if they were careful because she had never slept with anyone else and neither had he, and like the idiot kid that he was, he reasoned that she was right. They were worried about STI’s when their real concern should’ve been having a baby, but neither of them gave it a second thought before Harry pushed in.

What makes Harry laugh is that he walked around for another month and a half completely content and happy. He didn’t think it was odd when Elaine started choosing sleep over helping him study, or how some days they would hang out and she wouldn’t eat a single thing because her stomach had been bothering her. He didn’t realize because he didn’t know to look for the signs, and he definitely wasn’t expecting it when Elaine called him crying one day after she’d missed class.

He walked into her house receiving odd, cold stares from Elaine’s parents. It made his stomach turn to feel their narrowed eyes on him as he made his way to Elaine’s room and they didn’t say a word. She hadn’t said what was wrong when she called, only that he needed to come over as soon as possible, so Harry’s heart started pounding wondering what could’ve happened to make her parents so angry. She was still crying when Harry stepped through the door. Her hair was tied back and away from her face as tears continued to race down her cheeks. Harry sat there beside her for a long time before she could look at him without creating a new wave of sobs.

“Why weren’t you in class today?”

Elaine’s face screwed up like she was about to start crying again. “My mum and dad took me to the doctor.” He didn’t like the sick feeling trying to crawl its way up his throat when new tears started falling from her eyes.

“W-What did they say? What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

He has no clue how he didn’t get sick right then and there when she broke down crying again, not even able to breathe. He held her, scared to know the answers to his own questions until she choked out the words that would forever change both of their lives.

***

After Elaine ended up pregnant and he started sleeping with men, he never really felt the need to fuck anybody. He never really liked women to begin with, and the guys he winded up sleeping with were always assholes whose only goal was to bend him over as many objects as humanly possible before coming. Harry never even thought about it with them, and maybe it’s because Harry loves him, or maybe he’s just being sentimental about tonight, but Louis is the only person he ever wants to be that intimate with again.

He’s hasty trying to get their clothes off while simultaneously trying to grab a condom and lube out of his newly stocked bedside drawer. Louis’ thighs are shaky when Harry settles down between them. Harry takes a deep breath, nervous being in this position after so long, but it feels right being here with Louis, which is a lot more than he could ever say with Elaine.

Opening Louis up isn’t as intimidating as he thought it would be. He’s done it to himself enough and instructed others on how to do it for him that he’s a good judge of what feels good. He takes extra care, really spreading his fingers around Louis’ opening so he won’t hurt him later, because after Louis shared how uncomfortable other men made him feel Harry couldn’t bear it if he did the same exact thing.

Harry rolls on a condom after he’s absolutely sure that Louis is ready. He completely drenches himself in lube before inching up to him with bated breath.

“You alright?” Louis asks, his face showing his nerves despite his efforts to look relaxed. He starts moving to turn over onto his stomach while Harry is still working up the nerve to move. “Here, I’ll get on my knees. You’re so tall, it’ll probably be better for you that way.”

Louis looks wonderful in that position, but Harry knows what it feels like to always be bent over, especially if you don’t want to be. It’s lonely when you can’t see your lover’s face, and that’s the last thing Harry wants next to hurting him. He makes an effort to memorize the gentle slope of Louis’ spine before guiding him down onto his back. He definitely wants to see Louis on all fours again, but tonight isn’t about that.

“I'm not too tall,” Harry tells him. “And plus I want to see you.” He runs his thumb across Louis lips, thinking how awful it would be to not be able to really kiss him from behind. Louis’ eyes are appreciative when Harry leaves a light kiss on his lips and then one on his forehead.

He lines himself back up again, wrapping Louis’ legs around his waist as he hovers down over him. Louis nods, sneaking in one last kiss before Harry gently slides in. He watches every single flicker of Louis’ face as he moves. He’s ready to pull out at the first sign of discomfort, but Louis is okay, pacing his breathing as he gets used to the difference in size from his fingers.

Harry only starts to move when Louis tells him to, thrusting into the warm heat of him at the same slow pace that Louis uses when their positions are reversed. Being inside of someone never felt this good and Harry is convinced that it can’t get any better each time he pushes back in and struggles to pull air into his lungs from how tight Louis is pressed around him.

Louis moves with him, his eyes concentrated on Harry’s face. After a while Harry’s strokes start to get longer and involuntary sounds start falling from Louis’ mouth. Harry watches his pace and adjusts his position so it still feels good for Louis even though he can slowly feel himself losing the small amount of control he has. He catches a loud whine from the back of Louis’ throat after one lucky thrust hits his spot.

His instincts tell him to pound forward, but he doesn’t do it, knowing that Louis probably wouldn’t like it. He’s still taking it slow, only hitting his prostate once every few thrusts when Louis speaks up.

“You can go faster,” he breathes. Harry has to close his eyes, wanting to come just from hearing Louis ask for it.

Harry listens to him, and that’s when Louis’ moans start coming in a steady rhythm against his ear. Neither of them make it much longer once Louis tightens his legs around his waist to keep him from straying. The world starts fading out when Harry can feel his orgasm rushing through him. He’s relieved when he feels Louis come between them with a shuddery breath against Harry’s neck. He’s shaking when he pulls out, soft and wobbly from how hard he came, but Louis is right there beside him, rubbing his fingers through his sweaty curls as he catches his breath.

It takes all of his energy to remove the condom and throw it away. He comes back and Louis is already cleaning himself up with a wipe from the bedside drawer. He meets Harry’s eyes with a bright smile in contrast to his flushed cheeks and tired eyes. Harry accepts every kiss and caress from him when he flops back down onto the bed.

*

They stay there, lying quietly in the dark with Harry’s head resting on top of Louis’ shoulder. He hasn’t fallen asleep yet. He can’t with everything he’s thinking about, but he knows Louis isn’t asleep either. Harry wonders what’s keeping him up.

“Why aren’t you snoring yet?”

Louis scoffs. “Okay, first of all I do not snore,” he pokes Harry in the side where his arm is wrapped around him.  “And uh…I don’t know. Can’t shut off my brain, I guess.”

“Me either,” Harry admits. “What are you thinking about?”

He feels Louis laugh beneath him. “Are you asking so I’ll bore you to sleep?”

Harry laughs too, but then they both go quiet so he can listen. He really does want to know.

“I’m just glad things are working out. I loved meeting your mother and tonight with Calla and Elaine…they’re both incredible, Harry. I’m happy I finally get the chance to know them.”

A bit of guilt trickles through Harry’s words. “I’m sorry you had to wait so long. I know I keep making excuses and saying I’m new to all of this, but I am. I’m still trying to figure it all out so that it works. I’m still not sure it can.” Harry worries about the future of his daughter more than anything else in the world. What’s going to happen when she starts school and has to explain him to her friends? What’s going to happen now that he has Louis and she’ll have to explain the both of them? She shouldn’t have to defend her broken family. Harry wishes she could have a little bit of normalcy in her life.

Louis drops an unexpected kiss to his forehead like he can hear the things he’s thinking. “Everything has already worked out better than you thought it would. You and Elaine are amazing for everything you’ve done. You two had her so young and you aren’t even together…all of that, and Calla is still wonderful.”

Harry closes his eyes. “Yeah she is….but it’s my fault her mum and dad can’t be together.”

Louis shifts so that they’re face to face when he catches Harry’s tone. “Harry, you can’t help it if you don’t want to be with Elaine, but you can make sure you’re there for the both of them. Calla could never blame you for anything when she loves you so much.”  Harry isn’t sure if he really believes that. He just wishes things could be simpler for her.

“You should’ve seen me when I found out Elaine was pregnant.” Harry laughs humorlessly. “I went running to Niall like he could wave a magic wand and fix it. He just gave me junk food and let me hide out in his room for a couple of days.”

“Sounds about right.” Louis grins. “Were you alright after you talked to Niall?”

Harry remembers planning to run away after he talked to Niall. Luckily he didn’t. “It took me a long time to accept that I was actually going to be a dad. I- I thought for a while that Elaine would change her mind and not want to have a baby at all since she was so upset…I can’t imagine my life without Calla so I’m glad she didn’t, but at the time...”

“You were scared,” Louis finishes for him, like that’s all the explanation he needs to give for wishing his daughter didn’t exist before ever meeting her. “What did your mother say when you told her?”

“I didn’t tell her for months. I think I tried to ignore reality for as long as I could until Elaine started showing and I had to tell her. She was definitely angry with me for a few days, but then she came around. My family was there for her when I wasn’t.”

“What do you mean?” Louis asks tentatively. Harry had pretty much ignored reality for most of Elaine’s pregnancy. He’s so ashamed of himself and the way he acted, selfishly sleeping around with different men to avoid the truth. He feels so embarrassed he doesn’t even want to tell Louis about it.

“I liked Elaine a lot but being with her was never really right. I always thought I probably liked men, but I never did anything about it. I started letting these idiots use me…” Harry doesn’t say how he was still letting idiots use him up until the day he met Louis. “I was stupid.” He can see the sadness in Louis’ eyes as he listens to all these awful memories.

Louis traces his thumb across his cheek bone. “What changed?”

A soft grin pulls at the corners of Harry’s lips. “I got to meet my daughter.” He remembers being fucking terrified at the sight of her, but she was so tiny and beautiful that he fell in love the moment he laid eyes on her. “The first few months were really hard. I quit my classes and started working and Elaine was doing her best with her parents helping out. Things got better once Calla was a little older and eventually she met Chris. He’s really good for her.” Harry laughs to himself. “I’m actually glad me and Elaine didn’t work out because I think we would’ve killed each other trying to live in the same house and raise an infant.”

Louis laughs at that and then his expression turns soft. “I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m glad you two didn’t work too because if you had then we wouldn’t be here.”

Harry’s throat feels so tight that he has to clear it to keep the tears at bay. He thinks he has cried enough tonight, and he can’t say anything back that wouldn’t start him sobbing, so Harry kisses him instead, slow, deliberate, and just the way Louis likes, so it goes without saying that Harry feels the exact same way.

Harry is still awake long after Louis has fallen asleep, amazed at how for the first time his life seems to be on track. He was always so happy that Elaine had found a man to love her and Calla, but secretly he was also just a tiny bit jealous because he couldn’t have the same thing. It took a long time for him to worm his way in, but now that Louis is becoming a part of all of their lives Harry has no intention of ever letting him leave.

It’s late when Harry finally starts to drift off. His head is still resting right against Louis’ heart when he lets his eyes close and a loud bear-like sound rips right from Louis’ throat. Harry tries not to wake him, but he can’t help but laugh. Louis blinks himself awake at the sound.

“What’s wrong? Was I snoring?” he asks.

Harry has to bite down on his bottom lip to keep from cackling. “Oh no, love. You _never_ snore, remember?”

Louis groans turning his face into the pillow. “Shut up!”

“I wasn’t the one gargling spit,” Harry laughs again as he pulls Louis into his side. Louis settles down, curled into Harry’s arms. He’s already drifting back off when he starts mumbling something about having allergies. Harry vows right then and there to start sleeping with his phone next to him for blackmailing purposes.

“You weren’t loud,” Harry lies, dropping a quick kiss to his face.

Louis barely gets out an apology before he’s gone, and it doesn’t even take another thirty seconds before the snores start to rumble in.

It’s still hilarious, and Harry _will_ record him one day, but for right now he’s happy to just fall asleep curled up with him. After all, he’ll have plenty of opportunities for blackmail in the future.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue coming soon :)


	14. Epilogue

Louis has watched him run his fingers through his hair so many times that by now his curls are mostly soft waves as he jiggles his leg in the seat next to his. He has been a mess all week, thinking way too much and freaking himself out every time someone so much as hinted at the words nursery or school. Even now Louis can see the wheels of his mind churning into overdrive as they watch parents walk in and out of the  classroom door across from them, their children’s smiles as bright as sunshine itself at the prospect of finally starting school.

He knows Calla is probably in her mum’s car right now wearing a similar beam of bright excitement, but no one would be able to guess that from the pinched expression her dad is currently wearing.

Louis runs his palm down the middle of his back to get his attention.

“Haz?”

His bottom lip is nearly bitten raw from how hard he’s been chewing on it since this morning. His gaze jerks away from the happy family quietly talking in the doorway to spare him a quick glance. “Hmmm?” He looks away again when another family comes trotting out of the room… another family that looks nothing like Calla’s.

“Everything is going to be fine. You know that, right?” Harry’s eyes trail Louis’ hand as he places it over the knee that’s still jackhammering next to him. His leg goes still at the calming squeeze Louis gives him. The gesture only makes Harry sigh, all of his attention now focused on the floor. “Haz?” Louis tries again. There must be something sobering in his voice, because Harry actually stops worrying for more than two seconds to look at him.

His eyes are torn between anxiety and some kind of apology.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” Harry’s words are a whisper as yet another traditional family enters the room. The mother points at the plated numbers beside the door to show her son where exactly his classroom is located. The little boy nods, impatiently grabbing his father’s hand to pull him into the room with all his might when he gets too antsy to listen to his mother anymore. Louis would laugh at the way the large man stumbles after his son, but the fact that his boyfriend isn’t even breathing correctly stops him from seeing the humor in it.

Louis drops a kiss to his shoulder. “You _can_ do this, love,” he tells him. “You just worry too much.” Harry nods right when the double doors to the entrance swing open to reveal Chris, Elaine, and most noticeably, Calla, the ball of energy in a jean jacket running straight for her dad as soon as she spots him.

Elaine calls out to her, reminding her to walk while she’s inside, but Calla shows no indication of actually hearing her mother’s request when she throws her arms around Harry’s neck. She hangs there, giggling while Harry kisses all over her face, and then when she’s finished saying hello she hops down to throw herself at Louis with just as much force.

“Did you already see my classroom, Louis?”

Louis tickles her where she’s sitting in his lap. “Of course not, silly! We were waiting for you.”

“And what about Daddy?” she asks. She glances over at her father who is looking a lot better than he did a few seconds ago before she came running over. There’s even a bit of color in his cheeks now that he’s taking full breaths. “Daddy, did you go see it yet?”

Harry shakes his head when she addresses him and gives the most convincing smile he’s capable of at the moment. “No, love. Not yet.”

Louis catches Elaine’s look of fondness when she hears the emotion in Harry’s voice and she squeezes his shoulder in sympathy. “I had already spent nearly half an hour sobbing over her baby pictures this morning when Chris caught me. I know how you feel,” she laughs. Louis watches as Harry tries to return her smile, but it looks so forced that Elaine stoops down, her eyes kindhearted and warm as she tries to comfort him. “Oh Harry, it’s going to be fine. She’s got her family here with her and she’ll get to be with other kids her age…this is going to be a _really_ good thing.”

Elaine smiles like her words are supposed to make Harry feel better, but really she’s just made it that much worse, because Calla’s family and other kids her own age are _exactly_ what Harry is worried about. He nods though, making his smile more convincing the longer Elaine looks at him. “Yeah, El. You’re’ right. I’m just being silly. I’ll be fine.”

It took a few days after Calla’s birthday for Harry to finally tell him what had been bothering him. Louis had figured it was the fact that his daughter was getting older that made him look so tortured, but Harry later shared that he wasn’t as concerned with her turning four as he was with her starting nursery school and getting hit with the realization that the world is a vastly different place from the very miniscule one she has known all these years. Louis didn’t expect the rush of tears he got when Harry starting explaining how scared he was for Calla to realize that her family isn’t normal; that _he_ isn’t normal. Louis has spent every single day since then trying to convince Harry that he’s wrong, but of course it has yet to sink in. Elaine thinks he’s just being a normal, sentimental dad, an emotional wreck because his little girl is growing up before his eyes, but really that’s only part of it.

Calla can’t even wait another minute before she’s pleading with everyone around her to move. She’s so excited and cute that Louis immediately hops up to follow her without thought, all but dragging Harry along by the wrist, as Calla drags him.

The classroom is filled with kids and their parents, some helping their children get acquainted with their new environment, while others wait to gain the attention of the teacher who is standing in the middle of the room doing her best to answer all the questions and concerns being directed her way. Elaine pulls out the school registration forms she had shoved into her bag and takes her place in line behind the other families waiting for their turn. Chris finds the art center over in the corner more interesting than the queue, leaving Harry to look back and forth between Louis and Elaine like he can’t quite decide where he should be. Louis makes the choice for him when he clears his throat.

He looks around, pointing out the library of children’s books across the room, “Hey, Haz, me and Calla-bug are going to go get into trouble over there.”

“Yeah!” Calla cheers between them. Her tiny fingers have already started pulling his weight by the time Louis has finished speaking. “Come with us, Daddy!”

“I think Daddy’s going to wait with your Mum.” Calla doesn’t seem to mind Harry waiting with Elaine as long as she gets to explore the reading area. Her attention has been with the books since Louis mentioned them. “You’ll come read with us in a little bit, right Haz?”

Harry looks appreciative when he nods at them both. Louis is able to give him one more encouraging smile before Calla is pulling him through the room.

She starts sifting through the different genres on the shelves until she finds the one she wants. It’s no surprise when she comes walking over with a book full of animals native to the oceans of the world and flops down next to Louis on one of the large cushions padding the floor.

As the weeks have passed, reading has become one of Louis’ favorite things about going with Harry to visit his daughter. She listens attentively for a little while as Louis holds the book in front of them, but soon she starts getting impatient to finish the book even though she can hardly read any of the words on the pages. Their reading time usually ends with the book in Calla’s lap, interpreting the words from whatever is going on in the pictures, which to Louis’ surprise is usually quite accurate. Today is no different as Calla colorfully explains why the dolphins in the photograph are all swimming together rather than alone.

She’s just explaining why the little dolphins stay so close to the mother dolphins when her story catches the attention of a little boy with blonde hair who has wandered over to the library. Louis watches as the little boy keeps looking back at his father to make sure it’s okay for him to be there. His dad nods at him from where he’s talking with the teacher, so he inches over a little closer, causing Calla to look up when she turns the page.

The boy looks like he may want to join their little reading group, however he’s much too shy to say anything so he starts looking for his own book. He picks one about animals too then looks around for a place to sit.

“Hello, there. You can sit here if you’d like.” Louis gets up to offer his cushion. The little boy only hesitates for a moment before taking a seat next to Calla.

It’s cute watching Calla watch him turning the pages of his book at a pace much too quick to actually be reading when she turns her pages just as fast. He’s looking at a page about elephants that peaks her interest.

“Do you like elephants?” she asks. He nods and Calla starts telling him about the stuffed ones she has in her room at home.

“They’re really big,” the little boy tells her. “I saw some at the zoo one time with my dad.” Her face lights up when he says that.

“I went to the zoo for my birthday! I saw them too!” she exclaims. Louis laughs to himself with how excited she gets talking about her favorite things. She’s so loud that Harry and Elaine both look over to see what has her speaking so enthusiastically. Elaine smiles, seeing her making friends on her own. Louis isn’t shocked when Harry’s expression looks wary.

The elephant chat goes on for another five minutes before Elaine, Harry, and Chris, make their way over. Elaine walks right up to her daughter while Chris hangs back. Louis feels Harry pressing against his side as he watches their exchange.

“Hi Calla, who’s your friend?” Elaine smiles at the two of them. “What are you guys reading?”

“We’re reading about elephants. This is, uh….” Calla pauses for a moment like she may have forgotten the little boy’s name.  Between all the elephant and zoo talk Louis guesses they never got around to such formalities as names. The boy answers for himself when Calla looks over at him.

“I’m Devon. Calla says she went to the zoo like me,” he explains, clearly having no trouble remembering her name.

Louis can definitely empathize when Elaine looks back at them with a face that says Devon and Calla are the cutest things she’s ever seen. She steps back after Calla and Devon finish telling her all about their book, letting the kids get back to reading for the time being. From the looks of it, Harry looks close to finding them adorable as well, that is until Devon speaks again.

“Was that your mum?” he asks, turning another page of the book. Calla nods at him.

“Yeah.” She looks up where Devon’s dad is still taking with the teacher. “Is your mum here too?” she asks.

“No. I don’t have one,” the little boy shrugs.

Calla looks up at Devon with a little crinkle between her eyebrows that is a mirror image of her dad’s. Louis can feel Harry tensing beside him, coiled like a spring ready to jump in and save Calla from wherever their little conversation is headed. Louis squeezes his hand. “Why not?”

“I don’t know. My dad says she died a long time ago.” Louis’ stomach drops at his words. He and Harry both look over at Devon’s father, Harry’s face a lot less judgmental when he looks back at Devon.  Calla doesn’t say anything about Devon’s mother, but her eyes do drift over to watch Elaine for a few seconds. “Does your mum live with you?” Devon asks.

“Yes,” she answers flipping another page of their book. “My Dad doesn’t.” Harry’s grip is like a vice around his hand.

Devon looks up at Louis and Harry standing off to the side, and then at Christopher walking with Elaine. His eyes register the way his and Harry’s hands are linked between them, but only for a few seconds. “Which one is your dad?” Calla smiles pointing at Harry, and the boy looks surprised, probably because Louis was the one sitting with her in the library. “Then who’s that?” he asks Calla in a whisper.

Calla stops flipping through the book long enough to look up at them. She grins when she meets Louis’ eyes. “He's kind of my dad too,” she says like it’s nothing.

He hears Harry let out a huge breath next to him with a small grin when Devon seems to accept that answer and starts talking about animals again.

Harry looks fine when he glances over, but Louis, Louis can hardly breathe.

His throat is tight and clenched the rest of time they’re in the classroom. Devon’s dad comes over after a while to introduce himself, since Calla and Devon have been pretty much inseparable, and he’s proud to see Harry less anxious.

Louis is able to hold himself together in front of everyone as they chat, luckily Harry is there to catch each tear that falls once they’re back in the car. Louis pouts petulantly in the passenger’s seat, glaring at the one dimple exposed to him as Harry drives.

He snorts a laugh when he catches Louis staring. “What?”

“You were the one in tears this morning and somehow I’m the one sobbing now,” Louis mumbles. He has no idea how they got here.

Harry reaches over to squeeze his thigh in the same sympathetic manner that Louis used earlier. “Little girls have a way of making you cry from time to time.” Yeah, little girls named Calla have a way of making Louis’ entire heart spill out onto the fucking floor.

“She’s says I’m kind of like her dad,” Louis says after a few beats of silence. “I can’t believe she thinks of me that way.”

Harry brings Louis’ hand up to his lips for a quick kiss. “Of course she does, love. Why wouldn’t she?”

Louis doesn’t know. He knows she sometimes calls Chris dad, but it’s never happened with him. He figured she just didn’t feel that way about him yet or that she never would. Clearly he was wrong.

He watches Harry, lost in thought behind the wheel. He has no idea how he feels about his daughter throwing the word father around with such ease. Louis’ voice is soft when he gathers enough courage to ask. “Does it bother you?”

“My daughter loving you enough to call you dad?” The look Harry fixes him with makes Louis’ arms tingle with a chill. “It felt almost as good as the first time she ever said it to me.” Louis’ chest is less constricted hearing how sincere Harry sounds. It makes him feel good to know that Harry is just as emotional about it. He grins at the way their hands are still linked together.

The rest of their drive is quiet as he studies the proud look on Harry’s face. The quiet is nice, but boredom makes him change the subject. They stop at a red traffic light, and Louis is smirking before he even speaks.

“So, Devon’s pretty much the most charming kid on the planet,” he teases.

The car jerks as Harry’s grin slides right off his face at the mention of the little boy Calla couldn’t seem to get enough of. “Shut up. He is not.”

“Mmmm...I don’t know Haz, he’s quite a catch. I mean he likes elephants, and long walks at the zoo, and _clearly_ Calla-” Harry is tickling him into silence before Louis can even finish. Louis laughs so hard that he’s crying again by the time the light changes back to green.

“Their cubbies are in alphabetical order,” Harry remarks.

“Damn, he’s good,” Louis smirks. “Right next to Calla. That’s practically a proposal already.”

“Shut up!” He gets a pinch to the side for that, but Harry is smirking too. “I’ll have to keep an eye on him, but I’m glad she made a friend.”

Louis nods. “I’m glad she made friends with _him_. He seems shy and his dad looked really happy.”

Harry’s expression turns serious. “I don’t know how his dad does it all by himself.” Louis had wondered the exact same thing. “I don’t think I could do it if it were me,” he admits. Louis kisses the back of Harry’s hand, certain that Harry could do anything.

Calla is lucky enough to have both of her parents and even a couple extra she didn’t ask for, but Louis is certain that no one could do a better job of caring for her than her dad.

“Even if she didn’t have anyone else in the world, she’d have you,” Louis tells him.

He gets a quick squeeze to his hand. Louis tries to breathe around another lump of emotion clogging his throat when he catches Harry’s words.

“And now she has you too.”

 

_Eight years later_

Harry rolls his eyes from where he’s balancing himself on the edge of the sofa attempting to adjust the string lights around the Christmas tree. Louis and Calla were at least pretending to help a couple of minutes ago. Now all they’re doing is taking turns tying their ankles together with left over tinsel. Harry shakes his head, finding that the two of them get less and less useful as the years pass.

“Oh wow! It’s looking really good, Haz.” Louis waddles backwards to look at the tree, his eyes appraising all the hard work he and Calla took absolutely no part in.

“Why, thank you,” Harry tells him his dryly.

“Yeah, Dad,” Calla places a stray red ornament on the tree when she catches Harry’s sarcastic tone. “We make a _great_ team.” She laughs when Harry steps down from the sofa and traps her in a hug to tickle her sides.

She’s tall now, way too tall to jump up into his arms like she used to when Harry would tickle her. The top of her head is nearly level with his chest, her face thinning out and maturing to look like a miniature version of Elaine’s. He remembers the first year they spent in this house when Calla was so small that her ‘ _helping_ ’ consisted of only being able to place ornaments on the lowest branches of the tree. Back then, he and Louis had to pick her up so she could even reach the middle. She can reach much higher now, and at twelve years old she’s almost as tall as them, but one look at the cluster of ornaments concentrated at the bottom of the tree shows that her growth spurts have done nothing at all to improve her decorating skills. Harry thinks the tree is beautiful anyway.

They get the living room cleaned up a lot faster than Harry expected when Louis and Calla suddenly rush to get everything put away. He realizes what the rush is for when Louis comes tiptoeing into the kitchen a few minutes later to see if Harry has started baking cookies yet. He hangs his head when he sees that Harry hasn’t even cracked an egg.

“You’re punishing us for playing with the tinsel again, aren’t you?”

Harry squints his eyes at Niall’s recipe in front of him. The piece of paper is so dull and dirty from past attempts that he’s having trouble reading it. “No. Niall is the one punishing me by not rewriting this recipe like I’ve asked him to a million times.”

Louis drops a kiss to his shoulder. “Well, you can always call him if you need help.”

Harry usually does, but Niall is always really busy this time of year with his catering. He doesn’t need Harry ringing his phone to ask whether or not he’s supposed to use two eggs or three. “I’ll figure it out.”

He feels Louis laugh at his side. “Alright, be stubborn if you want to.” Louis kisses him again, but this time on the cheek. “I’m going to head over to Mum’s really quick. I asked Calla if she wanted to come but I think she’s gonna hang out around here. She probably wants to be around when the first batch is cooling.” Harry nods in agreement, knowing that his daughter loves sweets just as much as Louis. He’s sure she’ll be creeping around the kitchen as soon as they’re about to come out of the oven.

Louis leaves him in the kitchen, battling with the oil spots smearing the ink on the page. After another few minutes of mostly guesswork Harry decides that one egg or a couple of extra grains of sugar can’t really do much damage when he’s pretty sure Niall makes up most of his measurements anyway. Harry starts mixing up batter, certain that the end result will at least be edible if nothing else.

He’s two batches in when Louis comes home. He inhales the delicious scent wafting around him from the doorway and heads straight for the ones cooling on the countertop. He moans when he tastes the gooey center. He’s barely finished chewing when he kisses Harry, his tongue warm and chocolatey in his mouth. “Oh my God! These are so good. I don’t understand why we only have these at Christmas.” Harry laughs just like he does every year when he and Calla ask him that question.

Harry expected for her nose to bring her around much earlier, but eventually Calla wanders in, her reaction just as dramatic as Louis’ when she bites down into the gooey chocolate. She lets her head hang back to reveal her neck as she’s chewing, “Ugh! Dad, why can’t we have these all year?! It’s not fair to only save them for Christmas.” Her tone is just as insistent as Louis’ as she shoves another whole one into her mouth.

“If you ate them all year then you’d have nothing to annoy me about at Christmas,” Harry mutters. He grins to himself looking at the small mountain of cookies already greatly diminished from the short amount of time they’ve been in the kitchen.

A whole dozen is gone by the time Louis gets nice and full. He washes it all down with cocoa and then makes the announcement that it’s finally time for ice skating. Harry rolls his eyes again at the eager expression on Louis’ face, knowing that he’ll keep that same annoying yet impossibly adorable smile the whole time they’re on the ice just like he does each year.

Harry sighs, standing up to put the rest of the sweets away. Ice skating has never really been his thing since he spends most of the time on his ass, but it’s tradition. Louis and Calla love it, and so he goes along with it every year, despite the fact that he mostly ends up watching from the side.

The kitchen is filled with Louis’ laughter as he recounts Harry’s great fall from three Christmases ago when he accidently tripped a little girl, bringing her and her entire family down with him. Harry subconsciously rubs at the back of his head where the knot used to be as he grins at Louis’ tale. That story, one of Louis’ _absolute favorites_ to tell, always makes Calla bend over in laughter at her dad’s lack of coordination, but today she’s barely even chuckling when Harry glances over at her.

He frowns moving over to where she is to poke her. “What’s up, Calla? Is that story getting too old? Do I need to bring down a couple of more families this year so Louis can have a new story to exaggerate about?”

She gives him a tense grin, looking like she wants to say something. She fiddles with the small elephant charm on her bracelet for a few seconds before finally answering him. Harry remembers the year that Louis bought it for her. “It’s nothing, Dad.” He and Louis both stare at her after she hesitates. “Well… I have to ask you something but it’s not that big of a deal,” she starts, and Harry takes a deep breath, because if there’s anything he has learned raising a daughter over the years it’s that whatever she thinks isn’t a big deal usually is a huge fucking deal to him.

Harry braces himself next to his husband, ready for whatever, but keeping his face relaxed so Calla won’t see him sweat. “Okay.” He says after a deep breath. “What is it?”

“Claire and her older sisters are going to go skating later. I know we always go together, but this year they invited me to come with them and it sounds like a lot of fun.  I called Mum and she says it’s okay as long you two say it’s fine.” She goes quiet after nervously rushing through her request. “It would only be for a couple of hours, and Devon’s dad said he could come too,” she adds on at the last minute like extra reassurance in the form of Devon may help her case.

Harry lets out a very large sigh of relief. She only wants to go ice skating with her friends. That’s not the catastrophe Harry was expecting. Actually, it’s great. His ass will be grateful for the break from the ice. “Sure, love. As long as Elaine said it was fine then it’s fine with me. We can always go another time if you want.”

It’s a win for both of them when she comes running up to hug him, beaming from ear to ear as she thanks him over and over.

Harry thinks the kitchen is filled with all smiles until he glances over at Louis who is staring after Calla with so much emotion in his face that he looks close to tears. Harry winces as Louis tries to fix his face so Calla doesn’t see him looking so upset when she turns her attention towards him. “Claire’s mum is going to pick us up and drop us off, Louis, so you don’t even have to drive me over to their house!”

The small smile he gives her is broken all around the edges. “That sounds wonderful, love.” Calla hugs him too and is already heading off to her bedroom when Louis calls out to her in an attempt to change her mind. “H-Hey…are you sure you don’t want to go with me and your dad? I mean, I can always drive you guys over with us if you want your friends to come too. I don’t mind.”

She stops walking, half of her attention already on her phone in her room when she answers him. “Well…Dad said we can go later,” she offers Louis a quick grin. “That’s okay, right?”

Her grin fades a bit when Louis merely nods at her, clearly defeated. Harry can feel his disappointment like its’ seeping out into the room. Harry knows Calla feels it too when she speaks. “I- I mean, I don’t have to go with them if you don’t want me to...”

She suddenly looks a lot less sure of what she should do, but Louis urges her on with a forced grin. “No, no, love. You go ahead. We’ll go another time, like your Dad said.” He gives her a smile, and Harry has to hand it to him because it almost looks convincing enough to be genuine; almost.

She’s aware that Louis’ feelings are a little hurt. Harry can see it in her eyes when she trudges back over, her face guilty as she wraps Louis in an apology hug to make up for it. She tells him she loves him and that they can go skate tomorrow for his birthday if he wants. Her words do nothing to brighten Louis’ eyes.

She eventually leaves to go tell her friends the good news, but she tries not to look _quite_ so ecstatic about it this time when she goes.

Harry makes sure he is right there to hold Louis when she’s gone.

“I am _so_ sorry.” He drops a kiss to the top of Louis’ head in apology. “I didn’t even think to ask you if it was okay that she go. I should’ve checked with you. I know how much you look forward to skating every year.”

Louis clears his throat when his voice sounds strained. “No, Harry, don’t be silly. I can’t expect her to always want to hang out with us…she’s getting older.”

Harry’s heart breaks for him, because he is well acquainted with the hurt that comes from being able to feel his daughter growing more independent. He felt it the day she started school and also the day she no longer needed to hold his hand to cross the street. It’s the small moments that get to him, moments Harry never thought would matter to him like the time he went searching for her lunchbox only to find it packed and ready to go in the fridge because she had already done it herself when Harry was busy. He felt like an idiot when Louis found him choking back tears in the middle of the kitchen that night, but he couldn’t help the way he felt. He couldn’t stop time from moving, and sadly, neither can Louis.

Louis allows himself to be held for another few seconds, and then he’s giving Harry a reassuring smile as he pulls away. He utters a quick, “I’ll be fine,” before heading off to the living room. He doesn’t even try to steal another cookie before he goes.

Louis is watching some holiday movie on the sofa when Calla’s friends come to pick her up. He’s still in the same spot nearly half an hour later when Harry comes to sit next to him.

“Let’s go skating.”

He sighs. “That’s okay, Haz.” Louis meets his eyes with a half-hearted grin. “I know you hate skating.”

Hate is an understatement. Harry _despises_ skating. “No I don’t. We haven’t gone all year,” Harry nudges him in the arm. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Louis rolls his eyes at his insistence. “Thanks, but no thanks. I know what you’re trying to do.”

Harry links their fingers together, massaging the back of Louis hand. He knows Louis loves skating as much as his birthday and Christmas combined. “Then let me do it.”

He seems to think it over for a few seconds. “You always spend more time on your ass than on your feet, but okay. Fine. I’ll go.”

“Great!” Harry kisses his jaw before hopping up to dig their skates out of the closet. Calla may not be there with them at the moment, but there’s no reason they can’t carry out this one holiday tradition without her.

*

Harry’s knees are trembling from the cold, as Louis glides effortlessly in front of him. He’s concentrating very hard on staying upright when the tip of one of his blades catches a dip in the ice and nearly sends him spiraling onto his stomach. Louis glances back when he hears Harry trying to regain balance. He’s there in an instant, offering his strong arms to Harry as he skates backwards, pulling him along.

“Thanks.”

“No problem,” Louis tells him. His eyes leave Harry to look at the people skating around them. They came to the smaller skating area so they wouldn't run into people they know. Harry thought being away from the house for a bit would make him feel better, but he still looks just as sad as he did on the sofa. Harry tries to distract him with small talk to get his mind off of Calla.

“So…are you excited for your birthday tomorrow? I still can’t believe you’ll be thirty-six.”

“Yeah, I guess. I’m getting old.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “If that’s the case then you’re the hottest old man I’ve ever seen.”

Harry smirks, thinking his joke will at least earn him a decent giggle, but he doesn’t even think Louis heard him. He follows the path of Louis’ gaze to two little girls with red hair who are clumsily skating between their mother and father as they stumble and trip over their own feet. He watches them for a long time, and then Louis turns away from the scene like it hurts to look.

Harry would ask what’s wrong, however it seems rude to make Louis say it when his innermost thoughts are clearly written all over his face. He has that look again, that aching, longing one so rare that Harry can count the times he has seen it on one hand. It isn’t always so obvious, but it’s becoming more and more frequent the older Calla gets.

He saw a flicker of it years ago when Liam and Sofia’s daughter was born.

Louis held Emily like she was made of glass and spoke so softly to her that Harry’s chest felt heavy just watching them. He had never seen Louis with an infant before, but he looked at that little girl like she was the most precious thing he had ever seen as he held her tiny hand, grinning at how equally tiny her fingers were as he counted them.

It was so amazing to see Louis that way… Harry remembers finding Louis asleep on the sofa that evening with Calla tucked safely against him in the same way he held Emily just hours before. Just the memory is enough to make Harry’s throat clench as he recalls it.

It was almost a year later when Harry got to witness that magic for a second time when Liam and Sofia’s son was born, and then he got to see it again nearly two years later when they got to meet Gemma and Niall’s daughter.

Niall had been a nervous wreck the entire time Gemma was in labor. By the time his daughter was actually born, he was so ridiculously happy that he kept breaking into random blubbering sobs so loud that the baby would wake up fussy and teary-eyed from being disturbed where she slept against him. Gemma couldn’t get her new daughter to settle back down and neither could anyone else in the room. Rosemary cried for what seemed like hours, refusing the bottle, refusing her parents, getting passed from person to person until finally Louis held her, safe and snug as he rocked her against his chest. To everyone’s astonishment, the baby was asleep within minutes.

Harry felt proud watching everyone look on in amazement as the newborn slept, so peaceful and content in Louis’ arms. They all expressed how great Louis seemed to be with babies, making jokes about letting him babysit their own kids or take over for their spouses.

That day, Harry caught a brief flash of that longing gaze when Louis grinned up at him from where he and Rosemary sat, Louis looking completely at ease with the small child cradled in his arms. Louis had never asked Harry about more kids as the years passed. He seemed perfectly content being a father-figure for Calla, but even back then Harry knew it probably wasn’t enough for him.

Calla’s birth was something Harry never saw coming. He was way too young and too much of an idiot to get his shit together and be a good father to her during her infancy. He missed her first steps. He never changed her diaper, and until Louis came along, Calla had never even set foot inside of Harry’s flat because he felt like he couldn’t properly take care of her.

They raised Calla together with Elaine and Chris, but both of them have missed out on so many important parts of her life. Louis definitely made him the father that he is today…how could Harry possibly deny him the same opportunity when what he wants is so evident.

Louis is still pretending to not notice all the happy families zooming around them when Harry’s knee buckles under his weight. His jerky attempt at straightening himself out brings Louis’ attention back to him, his blue eyes still so heavy as he slows them down.

“I’m ready to go back home if you are,” he says. He maneuvers them to the edge of the ice dragging his toe to bring them to a complete stop.

“Let’s stay a little while longer.” Harry lets go of Louis’ arms to hold his hands. “Please, Lou.”

Harry can tell that Louis’ heart isn’t in it tonight, but he nods, holding both of his arms out for Harry to grab onto as he pulls them back into the flow of traffic.

This is a huge moment, Harry realizes as he opens his mouth several times to speak, unsure of how to begin. They make a couple of turns around the perimeter together, and Harry still has no idea how to go about asking Louis if he wants a baby. Another few minutes pass and Harry is still working on his opening sentence when he looks up to find Louis’ cheeks wet with tears.

“Louis? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

Louis quickly pulls one of his arms free from Harry’s grip to wipe at his face. “I’m not,” he lies at first, then he sniffles from the cold, “I don’t know.”

Harry tries to slow them down by dragging his toe along the ice the same way that Louis did, but somehow he screws it up, making himself trip. Louis reaches out to catch him before he actually falls. They stop right in the middle of everyone as people zig-zag around to avoid skating right into them. Harry doesn’t pay one bit of attention to anyone else as silent tears continue to fall from Louis’ eyes.

“Lou. You have to talk to me....is it Calla? Your birthday?”

He shakes his head, “I’m fine. I’m just being ridiculous.” He pushes backward trying to start them skating again. Harry turns his feet inward, digging his toes into the ice so they can’t move. Louis tries to pull him anyway, but gives up when they don’t even move an inch. “There’s nothing wrong, Harry. Let’s just skate a while and then we can go home.”

“Louis, you’re crying.” Harry runs his gloved finger under his eye to catch another tear that falls.

He doesn’t expect the harshness in Louis’ tone when he replies. “So? Sometimes people cry when they’re upset, Harry. My step-daughter hurt my feelings tonight because she’s getting too old to want to hang out with me anymore. Kids grow up all the time, so what?” He takes a deep breath once he’s got it all out, but the tears are still gathering in his eyes. He takes off one of his gloves to rub at them. “ _And_ you already knew I was upset and you made me to come out here anyway,” he says in one last fiery, irritated breath.

The heat in his words doesn’t match the way his lips are trembling against the cold. Harry would laugh at his little rant if Louis wasn’t so super serious about it.

“Come here,” Harry tries to kiss him, but his poor footwork only gets him as far as Louis’ cheek. Louis doesn’t exactly melt into it, but he doesn’t pull away either. “I know Calla going with her friends hurt your feelings, but Lou…she’s just a kid. She didn’t mean anything by it, love.”

Louis exhales, his jaw still set in a hard line. “I know.” Harry takes Louis’ hand in his.

“And I only made you come skate because I thought it would make you feel better. I didn’t know it would make you feel worse. I’m sorry.”

Louis looks at the people skating around them and sneakily rubs at his eyes again. “I know you didn’t,” he admits. “I’m sorry for yelling…I’m not mad at you.”

“I know you’re not. And you’re not mad at Calla either,” Harry tells him with a grin. “You’re just frustrated.”

Louis breathes a humorless laugh. “Frustrated about what? Turning almost forty? Getting rejected by a twelve year old?”

Harry adds one more thing to his list. “Frustrated that all these people around us have multiple children they raised from infancy and we don’t.”

There’s caution in Louis’ gaze when he meets Harry’s eyes. “Haz… what are you-” He shakes his head, frowning. “I didn’t…I never said-”

“You didn’t have to.”

For a few seconds Louis looks mortified that Harry would know something as secret as this without his consent. He opens his mouth several times to disagree, but one look around the ice at the parents guiding their small sons and daughters beside them makes his words evaporate before he can even say them. He’s crying again within seconds, hiding his face so Harry can’t see.

“I didn’t want to tell you, because I didn’t want to upset you.”

Harry can feel his eyebrows furrow in confusion as he tries to look at him. “Lou, why would having another baby upset me?”

It takes a few seconds, and it looks like it pains Louis to answer him. When he finally does, whatever counter argument Harry was about to launch dies in his throat.

“Because you didn’t technically want the one that you have.”

His words take him by surprise, making his chest feel tight. When Elaine was pregnant Harry probably made a new plan to run away every single day. Calla was unexpected. He and Elaine were still kids themselves when she was born and it was tough, but he wouldn’t trade his life with his daughter for anything.  

“You’re right. I didn’t want a child back then, but I’m not a kid anymore, Louis. I love Calla more than anything in the world, and I love you just as much. I want kids with my husband. I want to see you smiling while you hold _our_ baby instead of holding our friends’ kids and silently wishing you could have the same thing. You didn’t get to do that with Calla because it was too late when I met you. _I_ didn’t even get to do those things with her because I was too scared of being a part of her life, and I’ll never forgive myself for that, but I want you to have that chance, Lou. You deserve it.” His words make Louis cry harder, but Harry knows he needs to hear them.

Harry knows they’re making quite a scene, standing in the middle of the ice as Louis sobs into his shoulder. He’s sure people are staring, but he refuses to acknowledge them as he rubs comforting circles through the back of Louis’ coat.

He finally calms down enough to talk, his voice raspy when he pulls back enough to see him.

“Harry, are you sure you would want to do this? Calla’s almost a teenager…you’d have to start all over again. And then we’d have to figure out how to even _get_ a baby to begin with, and babies are expensive as hell…” his breath catches in his throat from how fast he's talking. “It’s all too much. I can’t ask you to do that, Harry.”

“Well I think Calla would _love_ a little brother or sister to spoil,” Harry smiles, answering Louis’ first question. He’s pretty sure Calla would be more excited than both of them if she knew they were even thinking about having another baby. “We can look into adoption or surrogacy or whatever it takes. I’m sure we can figure it out.” Harry doesn’t know much about starting a family, but he knows from listening to other gay couples that some options are easier or less expensive than others. Hopefully they can find an option that works for them.

Louis is still looking at him like maybe the whole thing will be a big mistake when Harry pulls him closer. “And last, you’re not asking me to do anything that I don’t already want to have with you. We can add to our family if that’s what you want. I’m so ready that we can even tell everyone tomorrow if you want to.”

That makes Louis bark out the first real laugh Harry has heard in hours.

“Our parents would choke on their slices of birthday cake if we told them tomorrow. That would be hilarious.” His eyes look so much more alive than Harry has seen them in a while as he smiles. “I think we should wait, though. We should look into it first, just in case we can’t go through with it. I don’t want to get their hopes up for nothing.”

Harry can feel his face settle into a deep frown. “Why wouldn’t we go through with it?”

“I don’t know,” Louis shrugs. “I’m not saying we won’t. I’ve heard adoption can be difficult. I just don’t want to get all excited and then, you know, nothing happens.”

Harry feels anger rise up in his chest at the thought of someone telling Louis he can’t be a dad. If anyone on Earth deserves to be a father, it’s Louis. “Well, you’re wrong,” Harry assures him. “It might not happen right away, but it _will_ happen.”

Louis grins, his eyes still a bit watery. “I hope you’re right.” Harry knows he’s right. He knows they will be able to do this.

 

_Fifteen months later_

It’s three forty-seven in the morning, pitch black in their room, Gabriel is screaming at the top of his lungs down the hall, and Harry doesn’t think he can do this.

This is the third time he has woken up since they went to bed at midnight. Harry rolls over to bury his face in his pillow, reminiscing about the nights when sleep was something he took for granted. Louis eventually stirs next to him when Gabriel lets out a particularly loud shriek of displeasure.

He looks over and sees Louis blinking himself awake enough to sit up and then push himself onto his feet.

“Do you want help?” Harry manages to mutter before Louis gets too far away. God, he hopes Louis doesn’t want help. Harry is never much use when it comes to calming their son. He mostly just stands there and offers moral support as Louis rocks him back to sleep since the child seems to scream at the mere sight of him.

“No, love. Go back to sleep. I’ve got him.” Go back to sleep? Harry is so delirious he almost laughs.

He lies there in the dark, somewhere between insomnia and insanity as Gabriel’s crying reaches its peak. Harry can pinpoint the exact moment that Louis picks him up when his screeching cries fade into nothing. Harry sighs, his ears thankful for the peace now surrounding him.

Harry has no clue how the hell Elaine did this by herself back when Calla was this age. He feels guilt wash over him each time he imagines her waking to Calla’s shrieking every other hour with no one beside her to ask if she needed help. Harry was never around much when she was born, and even when he did show his face it was only until she started getting fussy. Like an asshole, he would hand his crying daughter right back over to Elaine and then disappear with no promise of when he’d return. He realized weeks ago when they brought Gabriel home that he owes Elaine so fucking much.

Knowing that Louis is currently the one walking around like a zombie with their son on his hip makes Harry feel a similar twinge of guilt as he rests comfortably against his pillow. He was awful for what he did to Elaine. He can’t do it to Louis, so he forces himself up.

He pads out into the corridor past the bathroom and Calla’s room which is empty this week since she’s with her mum. The door to Gabriel’s room is cracked, so Harry gently pushes it open to step inside.

It doesn’t take long for Harry to spot them quietly rocking away in the corner. Harry would’ve thought Louis would be half asleep from how tired he was when he dragged himself out of their room, but he looks wide awake now as he animatedly talks to their son where he rests in the crook of his arm.

He’s drinking from the bottle Louis is holding up to his mouth, his large brown eyes completely enraptured by the little conversation Louis is having with him.  Louis looks up when he hears Harry walk in, grinning as he continues to talk to Gabriel like he can understand every word.  

It’s such a perfect moment that Harry hates to interrupt it.

“What are we talking about tonight?” Gabriel’s eyes focus in on him when he hears Harry’s voice.

“Oh nothing,” Louis says. “We were just talking about how nice it was for Uncle Liam to have fixed all of those bottles for us when he visited. This bottle will be last one until morning…” he lightly sings. _It’s already morning_ , Harry thinks bitterly, but Louis grins down at Gabriel anyway like he doesn’t have to be up for work in a few hours. Now that Louis mentions it, they really should thank Liam as well as everyone else who has been by to help out these last few weeks. He and Louis are appreciative of every small gesture their friends and family make.

He’s surprised when Louis stands up from the rocking chair and tilts his head toward it for Harry to take his place.

“Oh, no. I’m just here to watch,” Harry tries, but Louis is already placing the baby in his arms as he pushes Harry down into the chair.

“Nonsense.” Louis situates the bottle in Harry’s hand so it’s at the right angle.

“Lou,” he whines. “You know he always cries when I hold him.” Harry looks down at his son, almost wincing from how scared he is that he’ll start screaming the moment he realizes he is no longer in Louis’ arms.

“That’s only because he knows you’re uncomfortable rocking him. If you’re relaxed, then he’ll be calm too.”

That’s easy for Louis to say. He’s like some sort of weird baby-whisperer who always knows exactly what to do.

Harry takes a deep breath, per Louis’ insistence, and they start rocking. Gabriel’s eyes track Harry’s face as they stare at each other.  He isn’t crying yet, but he isn’t calm enough to sleep either. For now he’s just watching. Watching Harry internally panic, watching Louis as he stands right beside them with pride beaming from his smile.

“See,” Louis whispers. “You’re doing a great job.”

Harry scoffs. “That’s because he sees you.”  Louis takes three steps away so all Gabriel can see is Harry.

“You were saying?” Harry rolls his eyes. Sure, he’s cooperating right now, but that doesn’t really mean anything. Any other time Harry tries to get him to sleep the kid screams like he’s being tortured. “You should talk to him. He likes that. He likes your voice.”

“Talk to him about what?” Harry asks a little too loud. Louis gently shushes him, but Gabriel doesn’t seem to mind the rise in volume since he’s still relatively calm.

“Talk to him about nothing…about anything you want. He’s not picky,” Louis smiles.

Harry feels put on the spot when his son stares up at him with curiosity. “Um hey Gabe…how are you feeling?” Harry looks over at Louis standing by his crib for approval. He gets a sleepy grin of encouragement to keep going. “I hope you feel better now that you’re eating. I guess you were really hungry, otherwise you wouldn’t have woken up?”

Harry keeps talking until soft whooshing sounds fill the room when Gabriel has finished his bottle and is only sucking at air. Harry places it down on the floor and continues to rock him. He still feels weird talking to a baby when he knows he won’t receive a reply, but he does it anyway because that’s what Louis would do. “So…” Harry starts again, “Do you miss your sister? She called after dinner last night to ask about you. She says she can’t wait until next week so she can see you again… she loves you so much already...”

Harry has gone through so many different topics with his son that nearly half an hour has passed when he finally goes to sleep. Louis comes over, eyes half-lidded and tired to help Harry put him back in his crib. Harry holds his breath the entire time he’s placing the baby down, terrified that one wrong move will awaken the beast, but thankfully nothing happens and he’s still just as peaceful as when he was in Harry’s arms.

Louis turns off the soft light glowing from the lamp on the little table next to the chair. He grabs Harry’s hand leading them both out of the room and back to their bed.

Louis looks exhausted as he curls into Harry’s side with a heavy yawn. Harry expects him to drift right back off to sleep. He’s surprised when he hears his voice instead.

“You did a really good job with him tonight, Haz.”

“Thanks.” Harry guesses he’s right. Out of all the times he has tried to comfort their son since they brought him home from the adoption agency, tonight has definitely been one of the most positive experiences he and Gabriel have shared. Maybe the child doesn’t hate him after all.

“I know you think you’re not good with him, but you are. You’ll get better, it just takes some time.”

Harry is finding that most things in life take some time before they’re perfect, especially when it comes to his kids. He knows he still has a lot to improve on and that Louis will be patient enough to help him along the way. Harry is just grateful that they’re doing this at all, and most importantly that they’re doing it together.

Harry drops a kiss to whatever part of Louis’ face he can reach, thanking him for being so wonderful. “I’m learning from the best,” he whispers right when Louis’ soft snores start rumbling in his ear.

 

_The End_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you're enjoying it so far. Let me know what you think!
> 
>  
> 
> I want to give a huge thanks to FallingLikeThis (Zayniam) for helping sort me out :)


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